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A Very Interceptors Christmas (IC)


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... wat?

Archeville asked many, many questions between forkfuls of pork fried rice, but halfway through he relented and just let Erik and Ellie tell their story. He sensed the others were getting irritated by his frequent questions, anyway.

"A marvelous tale!," he he cheered, dislodging a few grains of the pork fried rice that had gotten lodged into his new beard. "I still have many, many questions, but they way you two told it easily suspended my disbelief!"

"And now," he hefted his large black bag to the table, "is the time for exchanging gifts, yes? If there are no objections," he said as he reached in and began puling out wrapped packages, "I would like to go first."

It quickly became apparent that the sack was larger on the inside than the outer dimensions indicated, as wrapped gift after gift was pulled forth. When he was done, Billy, Eli, Ellie, Erik, Lynn, and Mona each held a large wrapped box, each about as big as their heads. The last item he pulled from the sack was something that looked like a small television remote; he pressed a few buttons, and suddenly VINCE was holding a wrapped package!

Yaaay!

"These are all handmade," he said cheerfully, "but if you think anything is 'off', please do not hesitate to let me know!"

Inside each box was a handmade, wood-and-brass cuckoo clock, personalized for each person. Colt's was done in Steampunk Cowboy style, and when the hour struck a tiny Colt would mosey out of the saloon and fire a number of times into the air. For Dynamo, icons of speed -- cheetahs, racecars, fighter jets, both Johnny Rockets -- adorned the clock, and the hour was signaled by a tiny Dynamo coming out of the doors and racing on a path that took it over the entire surface of the clock! Grimalkin's clock was done in blue and white, with a surprisingly detailed faceplate. When the hour sounded, a tiny Pixie!Grim would flit out from one side, and from the other a tiny Hitler would march; Pixie!Grim would do a spinning kick to the tiny Hitler, the number of hits indicating the hour. The clock for Jack of all Blades seemed to be made of a complex interweaving of playing cards and assorted bladed implements; when the hour chimed, a tiny Jack and an assortment of tiny villains (including the Crime League and the Meta-Grue) would come out for him to stabpunch in the face, the number reflecting the hour, and the sounds of the sword swipe accompanied by a variety of 'energy crackle' sounds. Jill O'Cure, despite being both the newest member, and not truly a member per se, received an equally lavish clock, decorated with assorted medical imagery, most prominent being cameos of assorted important women from the medical field and brief descriptions of their contributions. When the hour sounded, a tiny Jill emerged from O.R. doors and laid hands on a number of patients that wheeled in on tiny gurneys from the other side of the clock face. Vince's clock was covered in glowing 'Tron lines'; lightracers sped out on the hour. Last but not least, Fulcrum, whose clock was modeled after the Prague Astronomical Clock; when it chimed, a tiny Mona and Viktor approached each other from opposite sides of the clockface and smooched each other.

Ohhhh, I hope they all like them!

Mercifully, the back of each clock had a switch that could be used to turn its sounds off.

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Eli had been a little more quiet today than he had been previously. He wasn't depressed, as evidenced by him trying to play jingle bells with his santa hat, but he just seemed a lot more relaxed and slowed down than he had been. It was a pleasant change.

He was quite enthralled with Archeville's present to him. Ever since he had gotten more interested with the more sciency stuff, he had more of an appreciation for all these gizmo's. And coo-coo clocks were the original gizmo. He liked the whole precision based aspect of it. And as far as his super senses could tell, Doc had this down to the thousand of a second. Very swanky.

"Holy crap Doc. I knew you were good, but dayum."

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Colt's smile was quite large when he opened his gift. "Doc," He began, at a loss for words over the beautiful gift, "Recknon this's great. Jus' great. Y'always got th'best gift ideas." He set the clock down on the table nearby, and looked over it with a careful eye. He used his fingers to examine some of the finer trimmings. "Know right where'll put't too. Thanks," He looked back up at Dr. Archeville. "It's a beaut."

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Mona couldn't help but laugh along with Ellie. Erik could, to stay in theme, sell iceboxes to Eskimos. If he ever retired from hero work, then he had a lively game show or stage career ahead of him. Between giggles she managed to load up a plate and find a seat, all with Ellie still perched on arm.

For the rest of the presentation, she too sat there in rapt attention, only occasionally giving Erik a skeptical look or glancing hither and yon to the younger sibling or Viktor for their silent feedback. Did she believe a word of it? Not really. Was she going to let them know? Hell, no! Sounded like a jolly good time, regardless of what actually happened!

"Okay, I was in the ball park at least," she joked, sitting Ellie down, "That's one amazing tale, you two! Sounds like Eldritch wasn't kidding about Christmas spirit. You two should write a book or something. Be a huge hit." Then she was on the egg rolls like a wild woman.

Only one egg roll had fallen victim when the first round of gifts came out. One eyebrow up, she took her box, felt the weight and did her best not to shake it. When the boxes came open, she was privately very glad she didn't shake it. Instead the intricate clock was examined with a look of wonder and not-so-slight confusion.

"It's gorgeous, Viktor! Thank you. Now you'll just have to show me what some of these symbols and functions mean," she said teasingly, knowing his enthusiasm for teaching. A positively girlish giggle followed when the clock chimed.

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Once again, Grim was speechless as she stared at the bizarre clock; it was in kind of bad taste but also totally cracked her up, so she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It was no doubt a beautiful piece, much like the inspired timekeepers presented to the rest of her friends and teammates, but seeing the beautiful Hebrew characters so close to the cartoonish anti-Nazi antics sort of made her head spin.

What did they call it in psych class? Cognitive dissonance?

On the one hand she didn't want to hurt her boss's feelings, but on the other hand she didn't want to flat-out lie to his face, especially on this day in front of her whole heroic 'family'. Finally after several minutes, she was able to find the words as she gently climbed out of Colt's lap to wrap the good doctor in a warm embrace.

"Thank you, Archy Claus; it's...truly bizzare." She gave him a friendly wink, then she turned back to the rest of ther group. "So, um, who's next? I don't wanna go just yet." She wasn't quite sure if she'd pulled it off, but at least she gave it a shot.

Actually you know who would love this freaky thing? Dad. Maybe I should send it to him to hang in his workshop...

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Erik laughed out loud as he turned the clock over to follow the intricate design around its surface, grinning broadly at the tiny clockwork fight. "Haha, tiny stabbing! That's fantastic!" Squinting, he tried to determine how the mechanics worked, though he didn't get very far.

"Oh wow, somebody did their research," Jill breathed quietly looking over her own clock, impressed by the beautifully engraved faces of some of her personal heroes. She seemed a little pensive as the miniaturized version of her miraculously cured a string a patients, but continued smiling appreciatively.

Vince seemed positively startled to receive a gift himself, gingerly unwrapping the simulated package and holding the clock inside like a terribly fragile object. "I, ah... thanks, boss."

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Mona glanced up at Lynn's clock just in time to see the last of Hitler kicking. She didn't need to see Grim's face to know that the clock would have received a mixed reaction. Be like switching up Mona's clock so her miniature punched Ayatollah Khomeini. While the scene would be funny enough, she'd probably have a little problem with it too.

So, quite casually, she planted a thank-you kiss on Viktor's cheek, over that new beard of his. "Thank you, sweetie. Merry Christmas." Once in close, she added in a whisper, but given the ears of the team members, maybe not privately, "After the holidays you may want to have a chat with Grim about her clock. A couple of aesthetic changes. Call it woman's intuition."

Smiling, the other presents were scoped out, "I don't know. Any volunteers?"

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"I don't know. Any volunteers?"

Seeing no one else leaping into the fray, Lynn rolled her eyes and set her bizzare clock aside. "Fine, I'll go next!" She crawled under the tree and seemingly disappeared for a few seconds before re-emerging, with a bright red sack slung over one shoulder.

"Okay, let's see who was a good boy or girl this year?"

The young changeling actually prided herself on her gift-buying skills, though several of her teammates had proven challenging to buy for; she wanted this first Christmas to special, so she’d really racked her brains for new ideas.

“Okay, first up, here ya go, Eli. Merry X-Mass!†The package proved to contain several travel guides and books on regional cuisine, including recipes and ‘food tourism’. Lynn smiled and shrugged. “I figure the two things you could always use are places to go and stuff to eat, so…â€

For Mona, a beautiful silk scarf some eight feet long, hopefully enough to wrap around her neck a few times. For Dok, she’d asked her mom’s help in knitting a long wool scarf to match it, and she’d come up with a very interesting design she assured Lynn he'd like.

When she came to Erik, Grim looked a little nervous. “So I went through your DVD and Blu-Ray collection, looking for swashbuckler movies you didn’t have; you have a lot of swashbuckler movies.†Then she brightened when she handed him his neatly-wrapped parcel. “But I think I found a few gaps to fill in.†She hunted Amazon and eBay for weeks, coming up with Scaramouche, The Flame and the Arrow, and on the lighter side The Court Jester. “I couldn't remember if you already had The Black Swan; the one with Tyrone Power, not that creepy ballet movie.†She visibly shuddered at the memory of that particular date night. "If you do, I'm gonna hang on to that one, if that's okay; my grampa always loved Tyronne Power."

For Ellie, she’d found a vintage paisley vest she really hoped she liked. “I tried on a bunch of them in this cool shop in Riverside…uh, as you, actually; weird, I know, but this one fit the best.â€

It had been tough coming up with ideas for Vince, seeing as he was incorporeal and all; his stocking was stuffed with screen wipes and cans of compressed air ("Toiletries", she said with a wink), but after a lot of brainstorming she'd come up with the contents of a small flash drive, which she unwrapped and held up in front of his screen. "This is as many radio shows featuring Jack Benny and Groucho Marx as I could find online; Grampa Lou used to play them for me." She shrugged as she inserted the drive into a handy USB port. "I figure you can always use new material; well, new old material. Whatever."

Finally, she came to her beloved Colt; inside the lovingly-wrapped hat box was a gorgeous new black Stetson. Kneeling at her fiancé’s side, she took his hand in both of her own.“I figure this one can go with your tux…y’know, for the wedding.†She took a deep breath and sighed, her stomach all aflutter. “I want to marry you in this hat.â€

The stockings were filled with chocolate and other candies, silly little toys Grim had found in dollar stores (like a bag full of plastic cowboys and Indians for Colt and a wind-up robot for Dok), as well as socks, pens, soap, tea and shaving cream. Lastly, a bag of chocolate gelt and a tangerine were way down in the bottom of the toe.

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Finally, she came to her beloved Colt; inside the lovingly-wrapped hat box was a gorgeous new black Stetson.

"Aww, honey," Colt caressed the hat softly after he removed it from it's box. "Y'shouldn't've."

Kneeling at her fiancé’s side, she took his hand in both of her own.“I figure this one can go with your tux…y’know, for the wedding.†She took a deep breath and sighed, her stomach all aflutter. “I want to marry you in this hat.â€

The normally stoic Colt smiled, and actually teared up a little bit when she mentioned wearing the hat at their wedding. "I reckon that c'n be arranged." He leaned in and kissed her. "An' here I though y'were gon' make me comb m'hair." He smiled sarcastically. He replaced his hat with the new one. It was a perfect fit. He smiled, and snuffed Grim's face playfully with his old hat.

"Gift time!" Colt gestured to the presents nearby, "G'head gang. I ain't as good'a shopper's Grim. But I think y'all'll like'em all th'same."

Dr. Archeville and Jill would open their boxes to find hats as well. Dr. Archeville's was of decidedly German origin. Jill's was more like a traditional nurse hat. Colt added, "I figure if'n y'all don' wear'em, they'd still make'a neat decoration on'a shelf somewhere fer display. In fact, a shelf wouldn't be'a bad idea. On account'a th'fact't those're both antiques."

Mona's gift was a work of art. As the wrapping paper was torn away, she saw more and more of a Salvador Dali revealed. "We had Dali even'n my world. He's always been'a favorite'a mine. I couldn't get th'orriginal. That's'n Paris. This here's a professional copy, though."

Colt was confident Jack would like his gift. The rapier was made in Toledo. It had a "JB" emblazoned on the hilt, and etched into the blade were the words, "The Jack of All Blades". "I reckon that'n don't need no explainin'." He smiled.

"Eli, yers's in th'garage. I couldn't mov't up here. I got'cha one'a them perpetual motion machines. Some assembly required, but I reckon that ain't gon' take ya long't all."

Colt too produced another flash drive for Vince. "Here ya go, Vince. I compiled a document'a all th'things I c'n remember 'bout ma world. My version'a history, etc. 'S'all there."

"Merry Christmas, y'all."

"Oh, An, Grim," Colt couldn't help but smile when he looked at her. "If'n y'all're want'n somethin't wear't th'weddin, I yer'n luck. I gotcha somethin' blue." He reached into one of his pockets and withdrew a long velvety box. Inside was a jeweled bracelet. "White gold," Colt smiled, preempting the question he knew would be asked.

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She held up the full length of the scarf and whistled. Yes, apparently, her arms were long enough to hold the whole thing open. Regardless, she eyes just lit up at the scarf, especially after comparing it to Viktor's own. "Oh, Lynn, how did you ever find one this large? It practically has its own zip code! Thank you!"

Lynn's life flashed before her eyes as she was engulfed in a hug. The same went for Colt...

"Oh...I've been wanting this one, Colt. It's like you have mind reading," she said, eying him comically, "Nah, you just know your teammates." She added a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

A deep breath later and Mona began passing out her packages. Truth be known, Mona was extremely nervous about the reception of her gifts. Well, the butterflies were normal, yes, but these were her friends! A thousand art critics meant nothing compared to them!

Her gifts? Portraits of each of the Interceptors, looking posed and heroic in costume. The paintings were oil on canvas, set in dark frames to contrast their vivid, post-impressionist colors. Her style utilized broad, thick brush strokes and simple contrast backgrounds in a light costume color. A brass plate included their names.

As for the huge package? Yes, that contained a group painting! An action scene, the various members of the team, yes, Vince included, all charging to the viewer an angle. This one was a detailed water color in a cartoony, cel-shaded comic style.

Did Vince have a portrait? But of course. He looked quite dashing in her interpretation of Avatar Costume Chic. That, dear friends, I leave to your imaginations.

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"Ooh thanks Grim!" said Eli with obvious enthusiasm, as he started flipping through the books. "For all the time I spend in the kitchen you've think I'd know how to make more than just eggs at this point. And you have no idea how easy it is to be the ugly American stereotype if you don't know what you're doing abroad. Shush." said Eli quickly focusing his attention on the Espada siblings. "But seriously, thanks Grim. Now alls I need tos do is figured out them theres exchange rates."

...

At the mention of the perpetual motion machine, Eli's santa hat was left comically hanging in mid air, as Eli ran out from under it in his haste to get into the garage. Skidding back into the room with a bunch of boxes with parts of the machine in his hand, Eli snatched his hat out of the air before turning his attention back to Colt. "Dude, you have no idea the terror you have just unleashed upon the land." said Eli almost giddily. "With my powers I can make these things go super fast with next to no friction. And the best part is..." Eli paused dramatically for a moment, before flickering as pulled out a box from elsewhere, which held another perpetual motion machine. "My sister Cassie had the same idea! Now I can combine them! ...I wonder if I can make one big enough to involve every room in the house...?"

...

Thankfully Eli was a bit more subdued when he get the gift from Mona. He wasn't less pleased so much as he was dumbfounded. "Wow. You made me look all heroic and junk. And you gave me some muscles there too. Plus 2 brownie points for you there. Wish I could hang it up in my room, but not really something I want to get in the habit in. Something like this needs to be in the lair until you come up with an excuse as to why you have a portrait of a hero that bears a striking resemblance to you on your mantle piece. That's a lot."

...

"Alright my turn." said Eli, getting up in front of the room. "I had bugger all of an idea of what to get your guys, other than the really obvious stuff. So, I made ya something." Eli disappeared for a moment before coming back into the room, carrying a plain old shoe box. Erik's metamagi senses however immediately picked it out as something else however. The box was reading like Eli himself. He pulled back the lid to reveal the individually wrapped presents, each about large enough to hold a potato. Inside was a clear tube filled with lightning and lots of mechanical bits, with a bright red button on top, and a clear cover over the button, presumably so one didn't accidentally push it. "Alright, first off. Don't push the button." said Eli once they were all opened. "They're essentially time in a bottle. If you push that button there on top, it'll give you a very low amount of super speed temporarily. It'll make you about as fast as a car for about 10 minutes. The effects will be a bit more dramatic on you Mona, due to you already have some speed, but not sure how much more. You aren't going to be able to dodge bullets or nothing, but if you find yourself with the need for more time, push the button and 10 minutes becomes 2 hours."

Eli turned his attention to Vince. "Now Vince, you can't use this stuff unfortunately, but I got something else for you." Eli ran out of the room again. But this time he was gone for a while. Just as the team was getting worried if he was going to come back, Eli walked through the front door again. "And that's how you perform maintenance and make some upgrades on the embarrassingly large amount of senors and cameras you've got scattered throughout the city. Which took forever by the way. Some of those suckers are hidden pretty well."

"Merry Christmas all!"

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"Ha, I didn't even know they'd rereleased The Court Jester!" Erik laughed, looking through the stack of DVDs. The shapeshifter had been spot on in discerning a certain genre preference amongst his movie collection. "These are fantastic, Lynn, you really outdid yourself."

Trying on the vest, Ellie beamed. "Okay, shopping as me is so morbidly sweet," the teenager admitted as she accessed the fit of the garment and found it to be excellent indeed. "This is so right up my alley, too." After a moment's hesitation, she gave the older woman a brief hug before reclaiming her seat. Leaving the vest on, she balanced the hat from Billy carefully in her hands. "I've got the perfect spot for this, too, on the shelf next to some of my texts. Awesome."

Her brother was quiet for a few moments as he held the sword with similar reverence, testing its balance and inspecting its length with the seasoned eye of an expert. "Damn, Bill, this is some piece of work," he commended, leaving it at that. There was little need for further words between the two weapons experts. When Mona revealed her paintings, both siblings offered impressed commentary, with the elder striking up a pose to match the one from his portrait. "We need to set these up gallery style downstairs," he suggested. "Total class."

"I'm always saying there aren't enough hours in the day," Ellie admitted looking over Eli's offering with fascination. "Still not hugging you, though," she smirked as she reached over to muss the blond's hair before moving to retrieve the remaining gifts from under the tree. "I didn't really expect these to still be there when we went back for them, but..." she admitted as she handed them out.

The clink of glass on glass revealed the contents of Bill's gift before the paper had been removed: six broad bottles in a cardboad tray. "Remember Mac, bartender from that place we, heh, met the FCC Firebirds? He started up his own microbrewery on the side, and it turns out it's basically fantastic, so." Erik had been back to the bar a few times, often enough to have been subjected to Mac's unfortunate first attempt, and could honestly say the improvement was a clear as night and day.

"These were my idea," the younger of the pair noted as she handed Lynn her present. Beneath the paper was a stack of eight storybooks featuring an assortment of fairies and pixies. "They had one of them in the children's ward, and I found out it was part of a series, so..." The young woman shrugged briefly, obviously a little embarrassed by the sentiment.

"I thought is they were a little girly, which probably mean's they're perfect," Erik drawled as he waited for Eli to finish unwrapping his gift. Inside were that month's issues of both a popular science periodical and a collection of short science fiction stories, along with cards explaining that each for the first of a year's subscription. "They've got all of these online subscriptions now, but we figured you can probably flick through pages way faster than browser pages load," the swordsman explained. "The first one's probably more useful, but the second one's to remind you not to grow up too much, huh? It'd make me look bad in comparison."

Mona was presented with what turned out to be a photo album. Inside were a number of shots from years ago, featuring much younger versions of both the Espadas siblings and their then babysitter. Towards the back of the album were several more recent shots, many taken in the very room they were sitting in. "Our mom found a bunch of those cleaning up a couple months back," Ellie told her, looking over the statuesque paragons elbow, "and we hunted down the rest once we had the idea. I had no idea how often mi hermano ran around without pants on..."

"I was six!" Erik protested, although he quickly fell into chagrined laughter. Doktor Archeville's parcel was revealed to be a study white apron stitched with the phrase 'Küssen Der Koch' in black, red and gold letters. "I was actually worried that one was kinda bawdy until Ellie translated it for me," the swordsman admitted with another chuckle. The material was thick enough that it could probably be used for more extreme applications of chemistry than cooking, which had seemed appropriate, since for the good Doktor, that line might be fairly blurred.

Finally, Erik produced a trio of CDs for Vince, featuring short musical stings and sound effects intended for television and radio talk shows. "There's a bunch of stuff on there," he promised, listing off a few of the tracks. "Wahn-wahn-wahn things and toilet flushes and like a half dozen different gong sounds." Popping the first disc into one of the stereos wired into the AI's systems, he regarded their adopted family with an easy grin. "Merry Christmas, guys."

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"Oh no." Colt covered his face with his hand when he found out he'd just given Eli a second machine with which to unleash marble madness. "Y'always hate givin' duplicate gifts, but I reckon this just ain't safe. Poor'ol Rube Golberg's gotta be rollin' round in'is grave bouts now."

Colt nodded appreciatively when Eli revealed his gift, "I reckon there's already'a few ways'a c'n think'a puttin' this here lil' device t'use. Thanks, Eli." He tucked the small device into his front shirt pocket.

He likewise received Erik's gift with a smile and a nod, "Ol' Mac, huh? Y'mean'e ain't still sore bout us tearin' up th'place'a few months back? Thanks, Jack, I'm gon't have't go'n see'em naw. We c'n open these later." He placed the package full of beer off to the side of the table.

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"Oh, An, Grim," Colt couldn't help but smile when he looked at her. "If'n y'all're want'n somethin't wear't th'weddin, I yer'n luck. I gotcha somethin' blue." He reached into one of his pockets and withdrew a long velvety box. Inside was a jeweled bracelet. "White gold," Colt smiled, preempting the question he knew would be asked.

A wide-eyed Lynn held the bracelet up to the light, clearly enchanted; after a few seconds, she silently crawled up the length of Colt and kissed him for a very long time. When she finally came up for air, she only had a few seconds of freedom before Mona swooped in for the kill.

"Oh, Lynn, how did you ever find one this large? It practically has its own zip code! Thank you!"

“Meep!â€

Once free of the gentle giantess, she comically wobbled about the room as though in a daze; however she dropped the act when she received her portrait. “Cool, I can hang this one up next to my Blake! You're awesome, Mona!â€

"They're essentially time in a bottle. If you push that button there on top, it'll give you a very low amount of super speed temporarily. It'll make you about as fast as a car for about 10 minutes. The effects will be a bit more dramatic on you Mona, due to you already have some speed, but not sure how much more. You aren't going to be able to dodge bullets or nothing, but if you find yourself with the need for more time, push the button and 10 minutes becomes 2 hours."

The shapeshifter considered the strange gift for several moments. “Wow, if I hit this button while I was flying, I bet I could make it to Europe in, like, two seconds! Thanks, Eli!â€

"Okay, shopping as me is so morbidly sweet," the teenager admitted as she accessed the fit of the garment and found it to be excellent indeed. "This is so right up my alley, too." After a moment's hesitation, she gave the older woman a brief hug before reclaiming her seat.

Lynn savored the rare Ellie-sanctioned hug, giving the teen a firm friendly squeeze. “You’re welcome, hermanita; I’ll try not to do it too often, ‘kay?â€

"These were my idea," the younger of the pair noted as she handed Lynn her present. Beneath the paper was a stack of eight storybooks featuring an assortment of fairies and pixies. "They had one of them in the children's ward, and I found out it was part of a series, so..." The young woman shrugged briefly, obviously a little embarrassed by the sentiment.

“Ohhh!†The changeling flipped through the pages and then held her hand to her heart, small tears forming in the corners of her eyes; resisting her overwhelming urge to hug the two Espadas siblings, she merely gave them both a big smile and softly murmured, “Thank you, guys.â€

Once again curled up in her fiancé’s lap, Lynn felt a happy glow in her tummy.

We all did good today. I love my team.

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"Nah, man, he's a Westender," Erik dismissed Billy's concerns with a wave. "Buncha guys start causing trouble like those chuckleheads? Be offended if we hadn't thrown 'em out on their butts." The story of that tussle had grown somewhat in the frequent retelling among Mac's staff and the bar's regulars, which had grown to include a few of the better behaved collegiate athletes, suitably chastised by their earlier embarrassment.

Ellie gave Lynn a wry smirk as she drew away from the hug. "Well, I get why you'd want to go shopping as me," she breezed, affecting some of her sibling's signature bravado and snapping her fingers jauntily. "I mean, I just make everything look so good." Her expression turned more genuine at the shapeshifter's reaction to the books, ducking her head between her shoulders. "M'glad you like them."

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Mona giggled. A lot. Like she was on nitrous. What exactly was the cause was unknown. The three biggest possibilities were before her.

One, the bottled lightning was just too much fun. She just held it with her left hand, stared at it and tried not to use any swear words in her rather great surprise. Instead she just blinked, "That's...that's...just so cool, Eli. I don't know what else to say. Thank you!" Very slowly to him, but a blur to everyone else, she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

The second suspect was the photo album. If the lightning started the giggles, than Ellie and Erik's gift only got her going. Winking at Ellie, she teased, "Oh, don't be too hard on him. I remember the time you found your mom's make up kit." Holding up two fingers, she addressed Erik, "Thankfully I only needed two hours to clean her up!" She grinned, still giggling.

The third and best suspect was just the wonderful sense of comradery. She really loved being with them this Christmas. The tree and decorations were nice, yes, but just being together like a family was simply the best. The relaxed ease with which they interacted, and how they accepted each other just the way they were, for better or worse.

Once the giggles subsided, she sighed contentedly and smiled.

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"I'll wear you down one of these days." said Eli jokingly has he readjusted his santa hat after Jill had mussed with his hair. "Hey thanks." said Eli as he started thumbing through some of the sci fi books. "I've been meaning to get down to the book store, but we've got lightning techno disco DDR laser tag downstairs. So yeah." he finished lamely with a shrug.

"Aww thanks Mo'." said Eli as he gave Mona a quick hug. "Though if you ever feel like being really nice to me, you could always give me a peek at that photo album there." he said with an impish smile, as he continued the conversation at high speed. He wasn't able to resist giving Erik and Ellie an evil grin once Fulcrum had sat back down.

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Grim's smile and expression were all the thanks he needed. Her loving kiss was icing on the cake.

Little had changed about Colt in the short time that he'd spent in Freedom City. Sure, he'd gotten what some might call a job. Others would say it was a new life. He'd found something that could be called family. And he definitely had found love. He glanced at Grim. She was oddly wandering around the room. He chuckled.

Colt sat back in his chair, contentedly watching his friends exchange gifts. He briefly thought about how a few months ago, a mood like this would have made him reach for a cigarette. He was happy and wanted to enjoy the moment. Absentmindedly, his right hand went to his shirt pocket. He noticed, and pulled it away. He placed his arms behind his head, reclined further and crossed his legs. That's one of the things that did change. He'd kicked some of his bad habits.

Another thing that had not changed was that he remained a man of few words. Colt smiled, laughed, and said little that night. He was simply happy for the gifts he had, both material and non. He wouldn't have traded that night for the world.

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"After the holidays you may want to have a chat with Grim about her clock. A couple of aesthetic changes. Call it woman's intuition."

"Whaaat do you mean?," Archeville asked innocently.

Everyone likes kicking Hitler! Who wouldn't want to see themselves kick Hitler every hour on the hour?!

After all the gifts were passed out, Archeville was wearing the scarf from Lynn, the hat from Billy (replacing his Santa hat), and the apron from Erik. His eyes darted between the 'bottled time' from Eli and the portrait by Mona; the wind-up robot marched at his feet, amidst a maze of candy. The Doktor was clearly flabbergasted at it all.

I... I... I...

Eventually the loop in his brain broke, and he looked up to the others, eyes wet with tears.

I have never been so happy! It has been so long since I have done anything with... with a family.

"I... I do not know quite what to say, but... thank you. Thank you all so very, very much for this! I..." Emotion overwhelmed and choked off his words.

He took a moment to compose himself, then looked back out to the group. "Alright," he said, gently laying down the lightning-bottle and hovering over to Mona, "let me take a peek at that photo album..."

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Mona gave Viktor an uncomprehending look. Not at his reaction to the gifts in general but to the Hitler clock. Once the waterworks started, however, she just smiled, wrapped the scarf around her neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie," she whispered, putting one arm around him.

The second request for the photo album elicited a small smirk and glance to the Espada siblings. After a moment she cleared her throat, "Alright, I'll show off a few of the less embarrassing. But I reserve to our Espada team members the right to skip anything they want. Better than having secret agents snooping around my place!"

She laughed lightly and winked to Jack and Jill.

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"D'aww. This ain't nothing there Archy Claus. This is just your good karma kicking in." said Eli with a playful jab to the unusually emotional Archeville. "For all you've done for us, this is the least we could do. Besides, you're going to face facts soon enough here Dok; you're family now and like it or not, you're stuck with us. It's like static cling, but only more hugs and presents. Don't worry you still get the tingly feeling." said Eli with sincerity. "Alright. Enough of the mushy stuff." said Eli clapping his hands together. "Lets get some eggnog in us so we can belt out some carols without feeling bad about our singing voices or lack there of."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lynn was not as surprised as the others when Archeville sang, since she had been exposed to his particular brand of song stylings once before, but she probably did not expect the extent of what he did.

Deck the Halls / Deck the Labs!

"Deck the labs with rubber tubing

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Use your funnel and your filter

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our goggles and aprons

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Before we go to our lab stations

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fill the beakers with solutions

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Mix solutions for reactions

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Watch we now for observations

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

So we can collect our data

Fa la la la la, la la la la."

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer / Iron the Red Atom Molecule!

"There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine

Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine

But do you recall

the most famous element of all?

Iron the red atom molecule

had a very shiny orbital

And if you ever saw him

You'd enjoy his magnetic glow

All of the other molecules

used to laugh and call him Ferrum

They never let poor Iron

join in any reaction games.

Then one inert Chemistry eve

Santa came to say

Iron with your orbital so bright

won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?

Then how the atoms reacted

and combined in twos and threes

Iron the red atom molecule

you'll go down in Chemistry!"

Twelve Days of Christmas / Twelve Days of Chemistry!

"On the first day of chemistry, my teacher said to me

write down the safety rules.

On the second day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

hydrogen is a gas

and write down the Safety rules

On the third day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas

and write down the Safety rules.

On the fourth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the fifth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the sixth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the seventh day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the eighth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

don't touch the equipment,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the ninth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

don't throw the glassware,

don't touch the equipment,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the tenth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

put down the matches,

don't throw the glassware,

don't touch the equipment,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,and write down the safety rules.

On the eleventh day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

shut off the gas,

put down the matches,

don't throw the glassware,

don't touch the equipment,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules.

On the twelfth day of chemistry, my teacher said to me,

clean up the classroom,

shut off the gas,

put down the matches,

don't throw the glassware,

don't touch the equipment,

is everyone on time,

don't blow up the lab,

get off the desks,

wear safety goggles,

acids are harmful,

hydrogen is a gas,

and write down the safety rules."

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire / Test Tubes Bubbling in a Water Bath!

"Test tubes bubbling in a water bath

Strong smells nipping at ypur nose.

Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow

Will find it hard to be inert tonight.

They know that Chlorine's on its way

He's loaded lots of little electrons on his sleigh

And every student's slide rule is on the sly

To see if the teacher really can multiply.

And so I offer you this simple phrase

To chemistry students in this room

Although it's been said many times, many ways

Merry molecules to you."

And once the singing was done, ArcheClaus sat in a chair, book -- A Visit from St. Nicholas -- in hand, and gave a sly wink.

I love this!

'Twas the night before Christmas,

The lab was quite still;

Not a Bunsen was burning

(Nor had they the will).

The test tubes were placed

In their racks with great care,

In hopes Father Chemistry

Soon would be there.

The students were sleeping

So sound in their dorms,

All dreaming of fluid

And Crystalline forms.

Lab-Aids in their aprons

And I in my smock.

When outside the lab

There arose such a roar

I leaped from my stool

And fell flat on the floor.

Out of the fire escape

All of us flew.

What was the commotion?

Not one of us knew.

The flood-lights shone out

O'er the campus so bright

It looked like old Stockholm

On Nobel Prize Night.

My fume-blinded eyes

Then viewed (dare I say?)

Eight anions pulling

A water-trough sleigh.

And holding the bonds

Tied to each one of them

Was a figure I knew

As our own Papa Chem.

With speeds in excess

Of most X-rays they came.

As they Dopplered along

He called each one by name.

"Now Nitrite, now Phosphate,

Now Borate, now Chloride

On Citrate, on Bromate,

On Sulfite and Oxide.

Forget what you know

Of that randomness stuff,

Let's go straight to that roof,

If you've quanta enough."

As fluids Bernoullian

Behave in a pinch,

Those ions said "Alchemist

This is a cinch."

So up to the lab-roof

Those "chargers" they sped

With Pop Chemistry safe

In his water-trough sled.

Just a microsec later

Electroscopes showed

Charged particles coming

To our lab abode

We raced back inside,

And what d'ya think?

Down the fume-hood Pop Chem fell,

Right into the sink.

He was dressed in a lab-coat,

Quite ragged and old,

With removable buttons

(The style, we're told)

A tray-full of beakers

He clutched to his heart--

And under his arm

Was an orbital chart.

His eyes through his goggles

I just couldn't see

His hands were all yellow

From H-N-O-3.

His head was quite bald

With a fringe all around

Like a ring test for iron,

That same shade of brown.

He puffed a cigar

With a smell not at all

Unlike the organic lab

Right down the hall.

The smoke billowed forth

From his angular face

And with Brownian Movement

Enveloped the place.

He was thin as a match

And not terribly tall

He wasn't the type

I'd expected at all

But a look at his clothes,

In the lab's harsh white light,

With their acid-burn holes--

He's a chemist all right!

He didn't say much

(He had no time to kill)

And filled all the test tubes

With nary a spill.

Then placing them back

On the benches with care

He dashed to the fume-hood

And rose through the air.

He called to his team

And his ions took off

And kinetics took care

Of Pop Chem and his trough,

But I heard him cry out

As he flew down the street

"Merry Holidays to all!

May your stockrooms stay neat!"

Take 10 + Cha 26 + HP for Beginner's Luck for 5r in Perform (Singing) = 23 on the check!

Take 10 + Cha 26 + 7r in Perform (Oratory) = 25 on the check!

All taken from Science Jokes: Christmas.

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