Quick to Err(IC, closed)

[Ari]

GM

6.40 P.M., October 21st, 2011: North End, A.S.T.R.O. Labs, Temporal Testing Center.

Martin Brandtford("Just five weeks 'till I'm a BA!" as he's said every day for the last Monday) sat on a narrow bench in a gleaming white hallway lit by fluorescent lamps along its length. He was waiting for a friend of his, a man named Jay Nelson Xavier, otherwise known as the feline superhero Jubatus. The man's unusual power over the passage of space(and perforce, time) had deeply piqued the young man's interest several months ago, and he had arranged a mutually-beneficial series of tests with the intent to discover the exact nature and function of his powers.

Today's test was an examination of how his powers worked while submerged in various liquids, to see what difference(if any) existed between that and their function in gases like air. He had been getting sniggers and sideways looks all month, as the other Lab workers found it hysterically funny that the Arkansas farm boy was going swimming with a cheetah. He had for his part joined right in with the jibes, cheerfully defusing what otherwise would have become a very nearly poisonous atmosphere.

He examined the clipboard he cradled in the crook of his right arm, clicking the the button of a pen absentmindedly as he ran over the list of the evening's work to be done. He expected the fastest cat alive any minute now...

[Cubist]

Right on time, Jay Xavier stepped into the lab at the 'normal' tempo of 1. This, of course, meant he was using his Timeshift power; at Jay's default tempo of 6, interactions with normal-speed people (like Martin Brandtford) were strained at best, impossible at worst. He and Brandtford had actually discussed whether or not the feline's continuum-bending power had any lingering after-effects that could screw up Brandtford's tests, but since Not Using The Timeshift wasn't a viable option, they'd mutually agreed that the next best choice was for Xavier to maintain a constant tempo of 1 whenever there wasn't any active test running.

So far, it appeared that Xavier's concerns on this point were unfounded. Which didn't stop him from worrying about it anyway...

"Hi, honey! I'm home!" Jay said at the lab door (as he'd done before, and intended to continue doing until Brandtford shows any sign of having recognized the reference).

"Hello, Mr. Xavier!" was Brandtford's reply. "Ready for the high-density fluid test?" Most people wouldn't have thought of water as a high-density fluid. But it was, particularly in comparison to the milligram-per-cubic-centimeter fluid called 'air' in which Xavier was usually immersed when he used his Timeshift power. Water's density was three orders of magnitude greater than that of air; how would the Timeshift be affected (if at all!) by that difference?

"Yes," the feline said. "Let's do this thing." And since Brandtford and Xavier had done most of their planning and discussion already, via email and chat windows, here and now they could just get right to work. There was a mouthpiece to fit between Xavier's inhuman jaws, and once the feline's air supply was assured, he got in the tank. There were insulation-covered wires to put in specific places in the near vicinity of Xavier's body; there were laser-optical elements, elements which had to be as carefully aligned as the wires, to send precisely-calibrated EM pulses on precisely-calibrated paths through the water; there were chemicals that would be injected into the water at precisely-calibrated moments, the better to determine what effect those molecules might have (if any) on Xavier's Timeshift.

As for Brandtford, his part of the preparations was rather less involved than was Xavier's...

[Ari]

GM

Martin slipped as quickly as he could into his wetsuit and SCUBA gear. Partially from having practiced several times before in his dorm at FCU, and partially because he was always filled with excitement when these experiments came around. As he fiddled with the straps of his SCUBA mask he explained to Jubatus "Now, we won't be able to perform anything as fancy as last time, when you were auspened in anti-gravity, but after talking with Dr. Pau(he gestured politely in the direction of a severe-looking woman of apparently Taiwanese heritage), it seems that a constant movement through the water will yield more illuminating results than remaining stationary. We're going to do four laps around the edge of the assigned pool there, two clockwise and two counter-clockwise, switching when a green light flashes on this" he proferred a small LED on his right wrist "while each lap, you and I will remain precisely 2 meters away from each other, to reduce the risk of my accidentally interfering with the signals transmitted by the wires, while still being close enough to help if aomething goes wrong. Any questions, Mr. Xavier?" he asked without any effort to conceal the fact that he was almost unbearably hyped for what amounted to swimming slowly around in a tank of water for about an hour, given the tank's size, while watching a bunch of wires and guages on the screen of a tablet he carried. He knew Jay was familiar with what they had planned to accomplish with the new battery of tests, but Martin figured it wouldn't hurt to keep it fresh in everyone's memory.

Out of sheer habit, he still carried his Dimensional Channeler in his left pocket. In fact, he had entirely forgotten he still had it by this point, something his friends knew all too well.

[Cubist]

The punk kid -- Brandtford -- spent a few seconds reviewing the procedure he and the feline were going to perform. Strictly speaking, the review was both redundant and repetitive, but Xavier didn't mind in the least. Seeing as how the tests they were going to run involved a power that could literally distort the fabric of the friggin' space/time continuum, Xavier welcomed any opportunity to reduce the chance of a potentially-catastrophic error. And then the kid finished: "Any questions, Mr. Xavier?"

"Yeah," the feline replied. "Is your Channeler gadget anywhere within a 100-meter radius of this lab?" He had no concrete data to suggest that Brandtford's favorite toy might be problematic, but... The Dimensional Channeler messed with space/time; Xavier's Timeshift power messed with space/time. Honestly, how likely was it that the damn thing couldn't screw up the tests he and Brandtford were running? Best to eliminate the error-source before it bit them in the butt.

Brandtford thought for a moment before answering. Since the last place he remembered seeing the Channeler was in the ASTRO Labs parking lot, he replied, "Nope! It's in my car, Mr. Xavier."

"Good enough," the feline said as he nodded and accepted this information at face value. Brandtford might be a punk kid (at least by comparison with the sexagenarian Xavier), but he was smart, honest, and... well, more careful than some other people of his age. Let it go, Jay, he told himself. Can't expect everybody to be the zero-tolerance fussbudget you are. "Show-on-the-road time, huh?"

[Ari]

GM

Martin nodded emphatically, eager to begin another round of a game he liked to call THE EXPANSION OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE(!!!!!! optional). After checking with the operators of the tank, he slipped on his mask and plunged into the tank. Several seconds passed in his check to make sure his gear had not a crack in it, and he gave the go-ahead signal to the crew standing by. He had already run through his array of tools strung on the imposing loops running from his right shoulder to his left thigh. All were in full working order and showed no sign whatever of being unfit for the task at hand.

At his sign Jay was asked to begin his acclimation to the tank's water temperature, which at 10 degrees Celsius was at least mildly warm. After a great deal of discussion, chlorination of the tank prior to the test had been decided against, due to worries about how Jay's sensative nose would have to put up with the smell long after a human would have been able to detect it(and the dozen and one irritants besides), not to mention the fact that cleaning it would be the same regardless of whether or not the resulting particles were sterilized or not.

Once Jay had become accustomed to the water(which with his power over the passage of time was no doubt quickly done), he and Martin began the first leisurely lap around the tank. The room the tank was in was roughly circular, flattening at the extreme east and west ends where the doorways connecting it to the rest of the Laboratories were. The pool was a neat rectangle with slightly rounded edges with segments of steel railing at intervals of three feet, in between which were currently raised plastic and steel platforms that usually served as docks for experiments in the durability of materials meant for underwater expeditions. The room hadn't any windows, but a large chandelier shaped like the solar system(with models of dwarf planets added regularly) supplied a pleasant golden glow. At the northern end of the room the command center lay reaching all across the room from east to west, a rectangular box with a door at each end and a clear Plexiglass window aimed at the pool, in which was the various monitors used for the tests the room held. At present about half of the monitors were in use, meaning there was a gentle murmer in the air from hushed conversation, inaudible underwater. If nothing else, the surroundings the two were going to spend an hour or so in weren't unlikeable.

[Cubist]

Jay Xavier wasn't sure why Brandtford insisted on being submerged in the tank with him while he 'jumped through hoops' for the tests. Granted, he could imagine circumstances under which it might actually make a difference whether it took the kid more than half a second to reach him, but even Xavier's well-practiced pessimism couldn't come up with any scenario in which any such difference was significant enough to matter worth a damn. As for downsides, Xavier couldn't see any that were worth bothering with; for instance, the odds against both of them losing their air supply at the same time and neither of them being able to breach the surface of the tank for a breath... well, those odds were laughably small, if not downright infinitesimal.

As for the test proper, Xavier took Brandtford's presence as a physical challenge: Could he match the kid's swimming velocity while he, Xavier, was deliberately not matching the kid's tempo of 1? Such a challenge would help to hone his fine control over his body and his Timeshift power, and Xavier was okay with that. As well, this would be a rare opportunity for him to try fractional tempos without needing to worry overmuch about downshift-enhanced gravity -- the water he was immersed in would shield him from at least some deleterious high-G side-effects.

And then it was showtime.

Under the inoffensive illumination provided by the room's ceiling-mounted orrery, Xavier and Brandtford started swimming...

[Ari]

GM

The first ten minutes or so of the test went quite well(everyone had already worn out their stock of 'swimmingly' gags in the lead-up to the test), with the impulses traveling through the wires showing definite differences in how the Timeshift interacted in liquid surroundings compared to gaseous ones, Martin diligently keeping an eye on how the impulses were being sent and recieved by the monitoring computer banks, the peaceful golden light lending an almost holy aura to the proceedings and the watchful crew keeping the wires from getting tangled. It was just as the first turnaround was being readied for the swimmers when for the briefest of moments, Martin rolled slightly over to check the layout of the wiring and see if it needed any adjustment, and by unhappy chance, his left pocket entered past the two meter zone.

At the very least, Martin would feel vaguely proud of having built such a sensative device as the Channeler, as it abruptly flared to life upon detecting the Timeshift, tearing a small rip in the wetsuit as it resumed its usual dimensions and opened a portal between worlds. Martin spun at once to press the 'off' button, but it was already too late: the prototype software that had encountered the Timeshift before hadn't been able to do anything with energy except use it as fuel, the updated coding now allowed it to 'test' potential sources of power for compatibility with maniplating the space/time continuum. Obviously intended solely for highly controlled environments, this function swiftly proved both its practical application and enormous hazards.

With a harsh rasping noise like a file on a tin can, the portal opened beneath the two swimmers, swallowing them, thousands of gallons of water and a large chunk of the nearby tank wall with a dull thud, leaving the severed wires to turn the bottom of the tank into a deathtrap that was quickly dismantled. In the long and awkward silence that followed, the crew gradually set to work tracing where the two had gone...

[Cubist]

Jay Xavier snarled incoherently -- "Growwrrlll!" -- when the Universe turned itself inside-down around him, complete with eye-hurting special effects and a Godawful noise that threatened to tear his cochleas in half. What the hell had just happened!? He felt disoriented; his damned instincts had kicked in by automatic reflex, upshifting him to his maximum tempo of 40, but somehow, gravity was even weaker than it should be at that level of Timeshift!

Maintaining his upshift, Xavier whipped his head around, doing his level best to look in all directions at once. His air hose was no longer connected to anything (its far end looked like it was just beginning to flop around loosely); the test-wires, too, were disconnected and floating; the visual distortions characteristic of looking through the surface of water were plainly visible in all directions, except for that nontrivial segment of his field of view which was taken up by a disconnected section of the walls of the tank. Clearly, something had gone very wrong indeed. Was the local air any good? Xavier didn't know. He grabbed for the rebreather unit in his Vest Of Many Things...

...which wasn't there, because he wasn't wearing the damn vest, because he'd taken it off for the duration of this test...

Damn! Okay, next step is inhale and hope. Xavier grabbed hold of his airhose to stabilize it, then forcefully expelled a short blast of air from his lungs to clear the hose of any water than might have gotten into it. And then a cautious breath... Good, it checks out. His sense of smell failed to detect any possibly-toxic components of the ambient atmosphere.

His nose also failed to detect the customary stench of half-burned hydrocarbons that tainted any region where a decent number of internal combustion engines operated...

Priorities, Jay! he chided himself. Survival first, then worry about where the hell you are! We got blue on this side, and green-and-brown opposite, so that's our up/down reference. Don't want to be under X thousand gallons of water when it hits the ground, so... And then something caught his eye: Huh. Of course Marty got pulled along with. Okay, factor him into it, too.

At his current tempo of 40, Xavier found that the water was a little thicker than normal; moving through the stuff was like swimming through warm motor oil. He pushed his way to the outer surface of the economy-sized blob of water in which he was embedded, and after hyperventilating to fully charge his blood with oxygen, the feline went back inside, 'digging' his way to Brandtford. He got his right arm around the kid's back, his hand stabilizing the position of the kid's head, and used his other arm to shove water out of the way while kicking his legs for thrust.

It wasn't elegant, but it worked -- both heads broke the surface before Xavier exhausted his breath. The feline 'squeegeed' water away from his eyes and face, then scanned the area towards which they were drifting: Hmmm... looks like (a) we're nearer the ground, and ( the tank-section's facing more down than it was. And... think I can see a cave over there. Shelter is good, we'll want that. Hope its resident(s) are either nonexistent or else friendly.

The feline shifted Marty over to his left arm, then pushed the two of them over to the severed wall-section from the tank. By now Xavier could plainly discern their downward motion. Time for us to bug out. With exceeding care, he hauled himself up over the edge and onto the dry side of the wall-section, always making sure that he wasn't about to give his 'passenger' a case of whiplash.

The feline crouched, preparing his musculature for the effort to come; cradled Brandtford in both arms; and then leapt for the cave he'd spotted...

[Ari]

...With a warped popping noise, the portal had opened a little distance(no more than 20ft., if that) from a warm, tan-sanded beach set between a short, grassy hill and a broad-shouldered mountain. The sky was clear and blue as the meandering waves, the air was gently moved by a soft breeze from the east, and filled with birds yelling about whatever birds yell about, and there was only a single young man trying to work out how geometry worked in making boat keels in sight. With an unholy splash, the water from the tank crashed down out of the sky from its wrecked basin, with Jay and Marty only just escaping its flow into the sea that sent an immense wave directly onto the young man's intricate portrayals of triangles and minutely-done measure of the radius of a half-circle. It also relieved Jay of the need to swim for very long, as it tossed the two of them powerfully onto the beach.

The painstaking marks were deatroyed utterly, the man was soaked and terrified, and for the next several minutes he dared make no move as he watched the new arrivals. Martin clambered slowly to his feet, looked around and groaned. Then he checked the various dials and numbers on the underside of the Channeler, and groaned again. Turning to Jay, he said grimly "Mr. Xavier, there isn't any way to soften this: we appear to be in the past, at what temporal point I can't determine yet. This is a terrible situation, as the Channeler isn't designed to go through time like this, and moreover has been drained of almost all available power by that stunt it just pulled" he glared at it, and for a split second looked ready to toss it into the sea. Then he pocketed it, and said with effort "This situation is entirely salvageable, we just need to get a consistent power source, while we do that I'll look through this WRETCHED THING'S logs and reconstruct how your Timeshift interected with it, we recreate it in reverse and get home" glancing at the staring man in the tunic he added more quietly "And of course with as little changing of history as we can manage"

[Cubist]

Jay Xavier was not a happy camper.

This was hardly a rare occurrence, as anybody who knew Xavier would agree; the feline's default emotional state was somewhere between 'mildly annoyed' and 'precursor to incandescent rage'. Here and now, having just finished a primary review of his recent actions, he was mostly irritated with himself. His attempt to jump for the cave had failed dismally; while he'd assumed he was pushing against the total mass of the tank-section and the water, in reality his legs merely pushed on the solid tank-section without discernably affecting the water -- so of course his legs' thrust was not directed through the tank-section's center of mass. Which meant that not only was the lateral acceleration far too small, it wasn't pointed anywhere near the right direction! End result: Splash. At least he'd succeeded in keeping the tank-section from falling on top of them...

Another point of irritation: His back. Xavier had exerted a lot of force, and if it had been applied along the motion-axis he'd intended, it wouldn't have hurt anything. As it was, however, a slowly-fading ache suggested that he'd managed to inflict some damage on himself, hopefully nothing major, and that going on two legs for any length of time would be a really bad idea.

Apart from anything else, a nontrivial portion of Xavier's ire was aimed at Brandtford, starting when the damn punk had pulled his Dimensional Channeler out of a pocket. The feline didn't care for that in the least, and if looks could maim, Brandford would have lost important organs every time Xavier glared at him: You said "It's in my car, Mr.Xavier." An honest mistake is one thing, but you lied to me, you son of a [bg=black]xixxx[/bg]. You lied to me! You're just damn lucky I'm writing it off to incompetence rather than deceit, and that getting back takes precedence over tongue-lashing you to within a micron of your misbegotten life. He suppressed a venomous snarl; he and the punk would have to work together if they ever wanted to see the streets of Freedom City again. No sense poisoning their working relationship any more than he could manage to avoid.

"...And of course with as little changing of history as we can manage."

So he's not a complete moron. Good to know. Not sure what that local is wearing, but it looks like it might be ancient Greek or Roman? If I had my laptop, I could compare it to what's in the Britannica...

[Ari]

GM

Martin evidently had some idea of Jay's fury, as he made no attempt at further explanation. Instead, he quietly pressed the deactivation switch on the Channeler and returned it to his pocket. He then stopped abruptly, a strange look on his face. Whipping his left hand back into his pocket a slow look of renewed anger passed over it. He tapped the switch and the device returned to its usual dimensions once more.

Turning back to Jay Martin said flatly "Sir, this will sound impossibly stupid, but I forgot it was in my pocket, as my miniaturization tech works even better than I thought it would. You see, it was just supposed to be a quick fix; I hated having it rub holes in every pocket and take up so much space in whatever bag I used, so I programmed the thing to shunt pieces of itself into other possible dimensions around itself. Of course now I realize that was a foolish thing to do, and I ought to have not tried to forget I had it, but that's most likely small comfort, and no apology I make will fix this problem" resuming his thoughtful look at the youth in the tunic, he mused aloud "Now would be a great time to know Greek, or maybe Latin"

To both of the time-displaced beings shock, the young man replied with what sounded vaguely to Jay's ears like a Italian accent "Well, I'd say you speak it pretty well". The man appeared to have gotten over his initial terror, and regarded the two with interest, asking eagerly of Jay "Excuse me, but are you one of those Carthaginian gods I've heard about? I had no idea they walked the earth visibly anymore than ours do!" he smiled pleasantly at the odd vision of a great cat standing on its hind legs, showing at least no obvious fear. Jay could still smell lingering traces of it about the soaked native, however.

[Cubist]

To Jay Xavier, Brandtford's mea culpa came as a rather pleasant surprise: His anger faded as the kid explained his error and took responsibility for the consequences thereof.

"...no apology I make will fix this problem."

"True," Xavier replied, trying to keep his voice down so that the local resident couldn't hear him, "but as long as you do fix the problem, an apology is of secondary importance at best. Everybody screws up, Brandtford; everybody, including me. Which reminds me..." And with these words, Xavier lowered himself to a quadrupedal posture. His back pain immediately lessened, as if by magic. "Ahh... better. Like I said, everybody screws up. You want to establish yourself a cut above the average schmuck, owning up to your mistakes works. And learning from your errors, so you don't repeat 'em in future, works even better."

"Well, I'd say you speak it pretty well."

What!? Xavier thought. Guy's crazy, he's speaking... wait. He thinks we're speaking his tongue, and we think he's speaking ours! The answer to this riddle eluded him; or, rather, of the many possible answers he could see, the feline couldn't say which were more or less likely to be the true answer.

"Excuse me, but are you one of those Carthaginian gods I've heard about? I had no idea they walked the earth visibly anymore than ours do!"

Hmm. Doesn't seem to be freaking out. Interesting... "Define 'god'," Xavier replied. "If you mean somebody with at least one power or ability far beyond those of normal man, sure I'm a god; if you mean something else, probably not. Might I ask who you are, and what this place is?"

[Ari]

GM

"A god" declared the young man with great placidity "Is an entity possessing the power and authority to govern the existence of an aspect of reality, like how Poseidon rules the sea, Zeus the sky, and" his voice dropped to a barely-heard whisper "Just Lord Hades commands the earth.(his voice resumed its earlier volume) What do you command and rule? I am Kaurus of Syracusae, and this is a beach on the north-western edge of the fair island of Sicillia. There should be a cart coming in.." he scanned the sky for a moment "..an hour or so we can take to the port of Drepanon, where I can easily get you two passage to wherever you wish. I'm heading back to Syracusae myself; my father sent me here to survey this land for farming, an I'll be glad to bring him good news for once" he resumed an almost cow-like stare of insurmountable ease and patience.

Martin decided that it would be best to clear up one small matter. Removing his mask and offering his hand he said a little nervously "Er, pleased to meet you Kaurus, I am Martin of Little Rock, and I'm not a Carthaginian, bu-" "No," responded Kaurus blandly "Now that I look at you, and hear you, neither of you have the accent or darkened skin most of them have. You look more like the northen barbarians, and 'Little Rock' is as barbarian a place as I ever heard of. How did you come to learn our tongue?" Martin seemed more than a little stung at hearing his birthplace described as sounding 'barbarian', but mastered himself and explained "My mother and father wished me to go to a higher position in life(["As seems to be the case the world over" Kaurus commented), and among much else I learned how to speak the tongue of learning" this satisfied the young mathematician, who turned once again to Jay with a look of unhurried curiosity.

[Cubist]

"A god is an entity possessing the power and authority to govern the existence of an aspect of reality, like how Poseidon rules the sea, Zeus the sky, and" his voice dropped to a barely-heard whisper "Just Lord Hades commands the earth.(his voice resumed its earlier volume) What do you command and rule?"

"Okay, I definitely don't fit that definition of 'god'. For one thing, I don't have anywhere near the kind of power and authority you're talking about. All I do is --" Here, Jay Xavier upshifted to a tempo of around 10; trotted from 'right' to 'left' across Kaurus' field of vision; sat back on his haunches; and downshifted to normal speed. "-- move real fast."

When Kaurus offered to give the time-lost tourists a ride, Xavier was of two minds about whether to take him up on this offer. On the one hand, he was inclined to minimize any contact with the locals; he didn't want to mess them up with any form of contamination, whether memetic or biological. On the other hand, returning home might well require more resources than they could command by themselves. And on the gripping hand, the more they interacted with the natives, the greater the chance of their inadvertently becoming embroiled in some local problem they had no clue about...

"...where I can easily get you two passage to wherever you wish."

"Thank you for offering," Xavier said before Brandtford could prematurely lock them into a perhaps-unfortunate course of action. "But Martin and I really need to figure out what our plans are, before we can know where we'll need to go in order to accomplish them."

It didn't surprise Xavier that Kaurus regarded Marty (and probably Xavier, as well) as inferior beings; he didn't care what Kaurus thought, but it was interesting to observe the kid's response. Good, he thought. The kid's pissed, but knows enough to put a lid on his annoyance. And when Kaurus returned his attention to Xavier, obviously wanting to see what the feline had to say for himself: "If you're curious to know my name, I answer to either 'Jay' or 'Jubatus'. I wasn't always like you see me now, and I don't believe I have the words to describe what my existence was like in the old days." I could describe it in English, but in this guy's tongue? Not. As for the Magic Translator, who the heck knows how well it can cope with concepts like 'technical writer' or 'anti-virus software'? And if Kaurus here thinks I might be an enchanted animal or some such, I won't disillusion him -- the less facts any local learns about us or our home, the better.

[Ari]

GM

Kaurus shrugged at Jay's refusal "Suit yourselves" he murmured. Getting to his feet, began to casually wring some of the excess water from his tunic, thought better of it and stripped it off entirely, wrung off the water, rolled it up and tossed it over his shoulder. Martin had almost begun to make the first syllable of a word in protest, but clamped his mouth shut and simply looked over at Jay, muttering "What now sir?"

About then, a distant wooden rattle sounded in the distance, which brought an actual gleam to the young student of geometry's eye, which previously had been curiously dull and unreflective. Waving pleasantly to the two time tourists(OOC: that sounds like a good name for a band) he set off in the direction of the clacking and rattling wheels and clip-clopping of heavy hooves.

A sudden piercing whistle froze him in his tracks. With a cry of joy, he ran back, shading his eyes from the sun and yelling enthusiastically "There it is! I had no idea it would get here so fast! Look look! Behold the boat that's powered by naught but boiling water!" He was only half right. The large trireme that was cruising slowly(to the yes of the moderns) past the cape had its sails down, but the large paddles affixed to the sides and the billows of steam belching from the large engine aft did a great deal to distract from them.

Kaurus stared at it with immense eyes, utterly speechless with amazement. Martin suffered the opposite affliction. The sight sent him into full babbling mode. "I what is that why how did there isn't @#$%*^~*& what WHY?!" was a small fraction of the torrent of syllables that poured out of his mouth as he spluttered with confused anger at the anachronism as it serenely waltzed past.

[Cubist]

"I don't think we're in Kansas any more, Toto..."

Those words leapt, unbidden. to Jay Xavier's mind when he saw the primitive steamboat. His furry face had no well-defined eyebrows to raise, but it was fairly easy to tell from his expression that he, like the kid, was surprised. As far as Xavier knew, the ancient Greek and Roman Empires hadn't embraced mechanization to any significant degree -- complex 'toys' to provide prefabricated 'miracles' in temples, yes; engines to drive self-propelled cargo vehicles, no -- so he and Brandtford must be a lot farther from home than they'd previously believed!

How the hell did that happen!? the feline thought. If memory serves, it's a good bet that either Hero of Alexandria or Archimedes could have built such a thing... but neither of 'em ever actually did! No friggin' way that kind of marvel could have been lost to history if it ever had existed -- a practical steamboat would've been too damned useful to ignore.

Well, there was a potential source of information close at hand; might as well consult it. To Kaurus, Xavier said, "Impressive vehicle. I didn't know that any such device even existed in the world. Who designed it?"

[Ari]

GM

"The great Archimedes of Syracusae, under whom I study" was the slightly belated response, Kaurus being apparently entranced with the vessel as it thundered and jolted past "He built it only a year or so ago, finding that the water in a water reservoir's heat-retainer he'd built for a public bath became so hot(the slave responsible for the heating escaped pnushment, I'm afraid), that it split asunder. Master Archimedes decided to test how to put such great pressures to practical use, and after numerous attempts, hit on the idea of using the pressure to turn wheels. There must be ten wagons powered by boiling water in Syracusae now, with another being built every ten weeks at least! That ship, the Eye of Macedon, is the first ship so powered. Master Archimedes hopes to place the device on a Carthaginian ship next, 'cause they're more seaworthy than our Greek craft" he lapsed into silence to gape some more.

Martin by now was silent too, his mouth working furiously and his face burning with anger.

[Cubist]

We are so Not In Kansas Any More... thought a somewhat boggled Jay Xavier. The shock of realizing that he and the punk had left their native timeline (because this world's version of Archimedes had done something the 'real' Archimedes never had) left him temporarily speechless; however, Xavier still had enough functional brain cells to note that this world's Archimedes accepted students, and he filed that mental note away for future reference. It was one possible avenue for making contact with the man, assuming they had reason to. Then again, the Greek Empire must surely regard Archimedes as a national resource -- Imperial resource, rather -- and pretty much everybody must want a piece of him, for good or ill. The Empire would have to be made up exclusively of unmitigated imbeciles to not do everything in its power to protect Archimedes from harm... Poor bastard's probably locked up tighter than Fort Knox. No way a couple of unknowns like me and Brandtford would be allowed within a five mile radius of the man...

Enough procrastination. Me and the kid gotta have ourselves a private talk.

To Brandtford, the feline said: "Let's get going," after which he trotted a few steps towards that cave he'd noticed earlier, then paused and turned to look at the kid.

[Ari]

GM

Shaking himself out of his outraged funk, Martin bade Kaurus a good day and set off after Jay. Walking quickly over the fine sanded beach, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a sudden shout from the nearby road was vocalized. "KAURUS, WE DEPART!" said the shout, at which the subject started in surprise and dashed for where a large cart stood, pulled by an almost bigger horse and carrying as its chief cargo(there were some bars of iron as well) a man who was roughly half the weight carried, a mountain with long black hair and beard, gleaming green eyes and a weathered brown tunic. Waving to the temporally-displaced citizens, Kaurus and the other man set off down the wandering road.

When they were gone from sight, Martin asked grimly "Well sir, what should we do? I have a plan involving a public bath and the mirrors of Syracusae, but I'm betting you have something more immediate and practical in mind" he looked at Jay expectantly, keeping his footing with little difficulty on the soft sand. The monstrosity slowly chugged along just outside the cape, approaching the mountain the north end only about twice as quickly as Jay was walking.

[Cubist]

"Well sir, what should we do? I have a plan involving a public bath and the mirrors of Syracusae, but I'm betting you have something more immediate and practical in mind."

Jay Xavier shook his head. "If you're thinking I've already worked out a protocol for getting us home, sorry -- I don't have any kind of plan in mind. Right now, what I want to do is talk with you in some private place, so we can compare notes and pool our respective skill-bases and all that good stuff."

Xavier looked at the departing horse-drawn cart; as far as he was concerned, the more distance it put between itself and the time-lost travelers, the better. Sure hope Kaurus & Co. don't stop at the cave... The feline continued, "To start with, here's how it all looks from my end: This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around... so no sightseeing, and forget about collecting autographs. Getting home is Job One, and there isn't any Job Two. Until things deteriorate to the point where we can't go back, we should judge any potential course of action by how well or poorly it contributes to us getting home. What d' you think of our situation, Brandtford?"

[Ari]

GM

The cart was following the road in its southerly direction, almost directly away from the mountain set in which Jay had spotted the cave, so there was no fear of Kaurus or the giant overhearing them

Martin listened with great earnestness to Jay's exhortation to focus on the task of returning to their home in space and time, clearly in another mood altogether than his earlier blithe enthusiasm. At Jay's question, his answer was immediate "Terrible. We don't have any local currency with which to buy supplies we'll need, working for it would take ages and might make us miss some window of time or whatever that caused us to this far back, we stick out like sore thumbs in our appearance, meaning we can't blend in with the rest of the local population, and I doubt that Kaurus guy will think to keep from mentioning the talking cheetah-" he broke off for a moment from that train of thought to go on another one "-and by the way sir, your speech is improving wonderfullly, I don't doubt that guy just assumed you were some kind of divine messeng-" his face had begun to smile again, but the realization sent a fresh wave of gloom over it "Anyway, I don't think Kaurus will keep quiet about us, meaning we'll probably have to hide if word gets out. But until then, we need an explanation that doesn't mention our names or where we're from. Yeah" as he finished the sentence he looked puzzled at the way he'd ended it. After a moment of deliberation, he tentatively said "Perhaps..we should assume..alternate identities?"

By now they were much closer to the mountain than they had previously assumed they would be, and could see not only the large cave. In the base, but also a number of other caves dotting the visible sides.

[Cubist]

Jay Xavier listened to Brandtford's synopsis of their situation; the kid's analysis struck him as basically accurate, if perhaps incomplete. For example, the lack of native currency might not be a problem at all, depending on what-all Xavier and the kid could manage to work up by their own efforts. Xavier winced when the kid noted that Kaurus was likely to spread gossip about 'the talking cheetah'; he should have kept his friggin' mouth shut. He really should have. But when he'd seen an opening for a reply, he just spoke up without stopping to consider whether he'd rather have the locals regard him as The Celebrated Talking Feline or just an ordinary cat. Me and my damn fixation on humanity...

"Perhaps... we should assume... alternate identities?"

"I'd call it 'establishing a cover story', but by whatever name, that's a good idea. Hrrr... how about this: You're an entertainer with an animal act, and I'm the non-human star of that act. Part of the act is ventriloquism, so when I talk, the audience thinks it's you putting words in my mouth. Ticket sales should hopefully give us an income stream, if we need it, and if the locals like our act, we should be able to use it for encountering whoever we think we need to. Yes? No?"

[Ari]

GM

The beach began to take a gentle curve to the left of the cave they were approaching, and soon soft(and tall) grass cushioned their feet. Martin settled a little when Jay demonstrated that the idea didn't make him uncomfortable. In truth, he would have suggested that relationship himself, but considered it a betrayal of Jay's human mind to treat him like a performing animal even in show. Besides which, such a show would be significantly more popular and better attended than if they had landed closer to the present by a century or two, or in the cold of northern Europe.

Nodding assent, Martin asked immediately "How much should we charge? I don't know much about this time period, but I vaguely recall money being extremely valuable. Maybe just trade for goods we can trade in one of those chain of deals things. We'll need copper though, and that's bound to be expensive, especially in the amount we'll need" he frowned at the general direction of the Mediterranean Sun, and began to peel off the wetsuit, draping it over his shoulder "If you think it's a good idea, I won't argue with that. Better than if I try to pass you off as my pet or something" using the wetsuit as an impromptu carrying bag, he put the various gear and gadgets inside the thing and zipped it up, hauling it by one of the strong loops on the shoulder "Anyway, what tricks could we do that won't do you any harm to perform regularly? I don't know much about handling performing animals, but I do know that a lot of the tricks they're taught can be painful when done repeatedly"

By now, the two had gotten to the stones at the base of the mountain from some past rockfall. The cave was only a few yards away, and looked quite deserted.

[Cubist]

His heart hadn't stopped. The earth hadn't split open to swallow them. The sky hadn't fallen.

When Jay Xavier offered to impersonate a dumb animal, nothing at all happened. Which was appropriate, since his concerns about 'being an animal' were strictly of the in-your-head kind, and as such couldn't affect the rest of the world... Enough time wasted on maunderings. I got a job to do.

When Brandtford wondered about how much they should charge for the act, Xavier shrugged and replied, "Dunno; pass the hat and let the audience decide, to start with. Once we get some idea of how much they're willing to pay, we can think about setting a solid price." And when the kid spoke of the materials they'd need for their upcoming work, the feline pointed out, "Some of the wires from the experimental setup came with us, and so did a good-sized chunk of the tank wall. All that stuff is resting on the seafloor now, but we should be able to recover at least some of it. Since we're talking about material which is from the same dimension we are, maybe you can tweak the Channeler to bring that stuff to us?"

"If you think it's a good idea, I won't argue with that. Better than if I try to pass you off as my pet or something."

Xavier snorted. "Me playing a performing animal is a lousy idea! But considering the practicalities of our situation, it's about as good as we're gonna get. Lesson for you, Brandtford: There are times in your life when you'll have to go for 'least bad', because 'good' isn't a live option."

"...what tricks could we do that won't do you any harm to perform regularly?"

Xavier spent a second or so thinking it over for a couple of minutes before answering: "One: Talking animal -- the word 'ventriloquism' dates back at least this far, if memory serves, so I'm betting ventriloquist acts are a known quantity hereabouts. Two: Races -- me versus a speedy critter, a quarterhorse or peregrine falcon or whatever. We make our money off of betting. Cheetahs were known to the Romans, so I doubt we can get anybody interested in a normal race against me, but we could try stuff like, oh, mark off a 20-yard length of an oval racecourse, and while the victim, I mean 'my competitor', runs the 20 yards, I go the long way around. Three: Dancing cat -- since I can do the bipedal thing, this won't be difficult for me, and small doses won't do me any harm. I'm not much of a dancer, but I don't have to be; just the fact that an apparent quadruped is doing it at all should wow the crowd."

By now, the pair of temporal exiles had reached the mouth of the cavern. "Wait out here for a second, Brandtford; I'm gonna check that cave out." With those words, Xavier upshifted to a tempo of 40 and blurred forward to give the cavity the proverbial once-over, emerging a small number of seconds later.

"By sight and scent, it's empty, and been that way for months," the feline told Brandtford. "Its last occupants were sheep and goats. No sign of any past usage by cultists or criminals. Good ventilation, some natural alcoves where the wind doesn't blow much. You should probably check it over yourself, in case it's got some problems I didn't notice but would make you miserable. If you like it, we may as well claim it as our base of operations; if not, I can scout out some alternative candidate-locations."

[Ari]

GM

Jay wrote "...Lesson for you, Brandtford: There are times in your life when you'll have to go for 'least bad', because 'good' isn't a live option."

Martin seemed deeply struck by this, and stood in silent thought as Jay raced ahead to check out the cave, clearly never having even considered the idea before that sometimes there wasn't a 'good' option in a situation. When Jay returned and told him about the condition the cave was in, he nodded and muttered "Might as well check. Don't think we could do better than this place right now, a lot of this island is bound to be uninhabited further inland, and the coast ports won't have places you can stay for free I'll bet" he made his way over and began a methodical search for anything truly terrible.

Nothing horrible was found, and the straw that covered the floor of the cave was dry and smelled quite clean seeing how it was in the middle of nowhere, so it didn't take long for the two to get superficially adjusted to their new headquarters. The thundering steam engine could still be heard in the relative still and quiet of the pre-industrial beach, something that clearly put Martin on edge.