Idle Hands do the Devil's Paperwork
Monday afternoon saw Pompadour strolling into his agent's office with the massive questionnaire she had saddled him with while stuck in the hospital. He didn't have an appointment, but she waved him in anyways. "Hey Brett, nice job wrangling the press yesterday." "Just call me Pompadour or Pomp for short. Honestly, my other name doesn't mean much to me." Then he shrugged slightly. "As for yesterday, I thought they were doing quite a hatchet job on Mercy, and I didn't think that was right. Anyways... after being stuck in the hospital for two days, with what was just a backache, I got this" he waved the workbook at his agent "monstrosity filled out."
Mandy thumbed through the questionnaire briefly, "thanks... I was noticing you seem to be moving ok today." Pompadour had already started for the door, "yeah. I found a cute little Asian girl to walk on my back... with clogs made out of cinder blocks. I'm not actually kidding... we also tried shiatsu with a sledgehammer. Being super tough means I need super massage." "huh... I guess that makes sense... hey, some of these answers are kind of slim!" Pompadour just waved as he left.
And now... the Ridiculous Questionnaire...
Introduction
Give a two or three word description of yourself (Describe your character's concept).
Sexy Hair God.
Do you have any nicknames, street names, titles, or nom de plume?
I generally use Pompadour regardless of social circumstances.
What is your full birth name?
My agent made arrangements to change my name, so it's not really relevant.
Where do you live?
I have a luxury condo in Mid-town.
Why do you live there?
I think the property belongs to the investment and banking firm that my agent hired to handle my assets. It is a nice apartment, but the cynical side of me says they pawned it off on me because the North-West view sucks.
What do you perceive as your greatest strength?
My hair... not just a personal statement, coveted by many... it's awesomely powerful.
What do you perceive as your greatest weakness?
Probably my inexperience as a hero. Failing that, my lack of modesty.
Physical Traits
How old are you (Chronological age as well as age category)?
24 (and I'm not sure what the second half of this question is asking)
What is your sex?
Male
What is your race?
American Mutt.
How tall are you?
6'3"
How much do you weigh?
220
What is your general body type, frame, bone structure, and poise?
My frame is about average, but I have a lot of muscle mass. I have a lot of definition, but not like a Roid-Head. I'm learning to move like a celebrity... meaning even my casual gestures are kind of posed, and I've learned to pause for photo-ops.
What is your skin colour?
Just a hint dusky. There's some Mediterranean in my background, and I even some black, about 4 or 5 generations ago.
What is your hair colour?
Black
What is your hair style?
Asking me that question constitutes an Epic Fail.
Do you have any facial hair?
I generally maintain a bit of stubble.
What is your eye colour?
Blue
How attractive are you?
It's hard to get a good look at me, because I'm usually covered in women.
What is your most distinguishing feature?
My hair is Legendary.
Do you have any scars, tattoos, or birthmarks?
I have some awesome sleeve work, thanks to my buddy Trevor "Tank" Hancock.
What is your handedness (left/right/ambidextrous)?
Right
Do you resemble some currently known person?
I am frequently compared to Elvis or The Fonze, but no one has gone so far as to say that I look like either.
What kind of clothing do you wear?
I wear a lot of vintage or retro 50s Greaser stuff, mixed with a bit of 70s punk stuff.
Do you wear makeup?
I don't seem to need it; even when I'm on TV. I'm just that photogenic.
What sort of vocal tone do you have?
My fans say it sounds like caramel being poured over ice-cream. The haters say I sound smarmy. Still working on my singing voice, but I sound a lot like the guy from Against Me!
History
Where is your homeland?
For the last 300 years, my family has lived on the east coast... as far south as Florida, as far north as New Found Land.
Are you aware of its history?
I'm no expert, but I went to school...
Are you patriotic or a social outcast?
I don't see that as an either or situation. Can't outcasts be patriotic?
What are your opinion of home?
The previous administration made some very unpopular decisions at home and in the eyes of the world. I'm excited about the new administration, and making the USA a global hero again.
Where is your home town?
I live in Freedom City now.
Are your real reasons for becoming an adventurer different from what you tell others?
I'm not really sure. I was a villain, but not because I wanted to be. If I get to choose, I choose to be a hero. But, I don't think it's exactly a secret that I want to be a celebrity... and being a superhero is part of how I'm going to achieve the fame I want.
How far would you go to keep such secrets from being revealed? What would you do if the truth became known?
I'm pretty much exactly what I say I am. If someone wants to "expose the truth" in the media, I'll fight fire with fire, and get my side of the story out there.
What do you fear would occur if the truth became known?
The truth is, I'm really not a bad guy. I think there are still people who haven't gotten the memo that The Sinister Pompadour has reformed... so the farther the truth spreads the better.
Do you have any particularly high or low ability scores?
Without any false modesty, I'm one of the hottest men on the planet... and anyone who can see me knows I ain't lying. As for weaknesses... I would say I'm not what you'd call a pinnacle of self-discipline.
How have these scores affected your life so far?
Well, I got the looks with my super powers. I wasn't always this attractive... and suddenly everybody wants me. This is a new experience for me, and honestly, that lack of discipline might lead me astray. I think every young star that makes it big in Hollywood can relate to what I'm talking about.
What about your race, growing up were you in the majority or a minority?
I have the pleasure of being a 'true' American. There's no hyphens here, my family has been in the country too long to be anything but straight-up Americans. So... I'm not sure if I'm in the majority or the minority -I think I'm in a place where it doesn't matter.
Did this impact your outlook in any way?
I like to think it means I'm free of prejudice... but I don't think people generally acknowledge their prejudices.
How do you feel about other races?
Pretty much all of them are in my own make-up. My family has always been more interested in People than Races.
Were there any traumatic experiences in your early years (death of a family member, abandonment, orphaned at an early age)?
Really not. The only real traumatic event was the Mega Makeover fiasco.
Briefly describe a defining moment in your childhood and how it influenced your life.
Uhm... I got nothing.
What stupid things did you do when you were younger?
I don't really got... oh. Well, I went through a phase where I was stealing the page 3 girls from the UK paper in the library.
Which toys from your childhood have you kept?
When I left home for college I didn't really take any nostalgia with me. I don't really know what my parents may or may not have kept.
Why? What do they mean to you? If you didn't keep any, why not? What did you do to them all?
I don't really remember if there's any momentoes that mean anything to me... and I don't know what's happened to them.
Do you have any deep, dark secrets in the past that may come back to haunt you?
I'd just as soon my yearbook pictures didn't surface.
Are you who you claim to be?
There's a lot of smoke and mirrors. I have a good agent... but at the core, or at least somewhere under the gloss you can find the real me.
Do you have any sort of criminal record?
I was indicted for numerous criminal and federal crimes by a Grand Jury, but found not guilty due to mental incapacity. That doesn't mean stupid, it means I was suffering from a drug induced psychosis.
How do you view the heroes/legends of your country?
Honestly, I haven't really given it a lot of thought.
Family
Who were your parents?
Were you raised by them? If not, then why didn't they and who did raise you?
What was their standing in the community?
Did your family stay in one area or move around a lot?
How did you get along with their parents?
How would your parents describe you? Answer this in the voice of your mother, then in your father's.
Do you have any siblings? If so how many and what were their names? How did you get along with each of your siblings?
What was your birth position in the family?
List all current knowledge of family locations, spouses, children, birth dates, schooling, and any important incidents that only you and they might remember.
Do you stay in touch with them or have you become estranged?
Do you love or hate one member of the family in particular?
Is any member of the family special to you in any way (perhaps, as a confidant, mentor, or arch-rival)?
[a thick, heavy line is drawn through each of the above questions]
Here is, in a nutshell, everything you need to know about my family. My parents were good, regular people, and my siblings were good, regular (if typical) siblings. We had the White Picket Fence. However... when I became The Sinister Pompadour, they understandably moved away... names were changed. I don't know where they went... It's hard for me, because my experience really changed me. I'm not sure how I feel about my family, and they obviously aren't quite willing to trust that I'm cured of the mania that turned me into Sinister Pompadour.
Are there any black (or white) sheep in the family (including you)?
That would be me.
If so, who are they and how did they "gain" the position?
I signed up for an extreme make-over show... and I got more than I bargained for.
Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor?
My great-great-great grandmother ran away to Canada with the slave she helped to escape, so that she could live with him and raise a family. That was pretty scandalous for the times.
If so, what did this person do to become famous or infamous?
As above.
Do you try to live up to the reputation of your ancestor, try to live it down, or ignore it?
As I wrote earlier, I am proud that my family has always been pioneers in tolerance.
Do you ever want to have a family of your own someday?
I'm way too young to worry about that stuff.
Would anything change your mind on this issue and if so, what?
We'll see after I've grown up a bit.
What type of person would be your ideal mate?
Normally when guys write this, and they say they're looking for a double-joined bisexual girl without a jealous bone in their body, they're being kind of facetious... but that's actually what I'd need to see in a woman before I produced a rock and took a knee.
Relationships
Do you have any close friends? If so, who and what are they like?
Trevor "Tank" Hancock. He is a smart, solid guy. He's the one guy I know who truly knows the new, real, me.
What is the history of their relationship(s) with you?
After I stopped being The Sinister Pompadour, a lot of my perceptions had changed, and one of the things I knew I wanted was a tattoo. So, I went out to get one... but, I'm pretty much bulletproof, which means a normal tattoo needle can't touch me. When I snooped around, I was directed to see him. He's done all my Ink, and gave me more useful therapy than I got in the hospital.
Do you currently have a best friend whom you would protect with your reputation or your life?
That definitely applies to the Tank... except I can't really imagine him getting into trouble that was all that dire.
If so, who are they and what caused you to feel so close to them? What would have to happen for you to end this relationship?
At a time when pretty much everyone should have been afraid of me, he was willing to be my friend.
Do you have any bitter enemies?
Nope.
If so, who are they, what are they like, and what is the history of their feud with you?
Not applicable.
Have you defeated them before?
Not applicable
How might these enemies seek to discomfit you in the future?
I think a barrage of 'alt-girls' (Roller Babes, Tat & Piercing Enthusiasts, Neo Pin-Ups) armed with snacks and Cherry Cola crashing my apartment would be devastating.
Which person(s) or group(s) are you most loyal to?
hmm... see below.
Who is your most trusted ally?
I'm going to have to say my Agent, Amanda (Mandy) Karlson. Not just because she's financial invested in my success or mere professionalism. When it comes to helping me succeed, she is driven because she's made it her goal. I think that if she fell on really hard times, and became a street person she would still be personally invested in my success.
Who do you trust, in general?
I'm not exactly a paranoid person, nor am I gullible. I'm willing to give anyone trust, until I have reason not to.
Who do you despise and why?
Despise is a pretty harsh word... I don't really despise... no. Wait. I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon here... if I got the chance, I would hit White Knight soooooo hard.
Name seven things you hate in others.
I don't think there's anything that I would go so far as to say I hate in others. I don't really like guys who have to be all competitive and I really don't like bigotry... but I understand that sometimes these things can't be helped. Certain traits, or combinations of traits can irritate the hell out of me though.
Is your image consistent?
I just got started, so it's hard to say... but I think that in the future I'll probably change my image. I think a lot of the 'greats' reinvent themselves fairly regularly.
Do you deliberately present yourself differently in different situations, and how?
Other than adjusting to different social situations, I don't think I do.
What would you die for?
I can think of situations that I might... but I can't really see myself in those situations.
What is the worst thing someone has done to you?
Arguably, the worst thing is also the best thing, and that was sign me up for Mega Makeover.
What is your general reaction to an attractive member of the opposite sex who lets you know they are available?
sigh... The line starts over there.
How do you get along with others of the same adventuring class?
Haven't met too many yet. So far so good, I guess.
Have you lost any loves?
Well, I'm estranged from my family if that counts.
How did you handle the situation (short & long term)?
I'm not sure how I feel about that, to be honest.
Who would miss you should you go missing?
My Agent and my Tattoo Artist.
How close are you to your adventuring companions?
It's too early to say.
What do they not know about you?
I'm going to make a point about not talking about my family... It's either detail they don't need, or tear-jerk fodder.
Are you a member of any house, guild, organization, or church? What is your level of involvement?
I'm the Chief Executive Officer and President of the Me, Myself & I Club.
Personality & Beliefs
Do you, or did you, have any role models?
The role models I had aren't people who mean anything to me now. I'm not sure how that changed.
Do you have any heroes or idols, either contemporary or from legend?
Gettin' repetitive over here...
Did you ever become disillusioned with former heroes or idols? If so, why and what were the circumstances?
The whole Sinister Pompadour thing changed a lot of my thoughts and opinions... so maybe I used to consider Paul Revere a hero, maybe now I don't care. That makes answering these questions about childhood role models very hard, because in a lot of ways I was reborn when the Raven's serum cured the Sinister part of my personality.
When did you decide to become an adventurer?
Oddly enough, it was something my agent suggested to me... and I fell into a real live super adventure before we could discuss details.
Why have you chosen to risk your life as a career?
Honestly, I do expect to reap the celebrity rewards of superheroism... but I can do something most people can't. I can do some good in Freedom City.
What do you expect to get out of being an adventurer? What, if anything, would make you stop adventuring?
I'm looking for Fame... and I think I would probably stop if I didn't think think it was "working" and that can mean I'm not getting the press I want, or that I'm not doing enough good... or even that I'm taking too many serious injuries.
Do you have any dreams or ambitions? If not, why?
I want a string of platinum records, and a string of famous and hawt girlfriends.
What are your short term goals (what would you like to be doing within a year)?
Recording my second record, and spanking my 6th (or so) model-starlet girlfriend.
What are your long term goals (what would you like to be doing twenty years from now)?
You know, I'm a young man and I'm entering strange territory; celebrity, superhero... I think planning past the next year would be overly ambitious at this point.
If these goals seem at odds with each other, or with your dreams, how do you reconcile the differences?
Not applicable.
Do you have any great rational or irrational fears or phobias? If so, what are the origins of, or reasons behind them?
The Sinister Pompadour was an evil genius. My brain just doesn't work that way now. I can kind of remember how he thought, but I can't duplicate it... Sometimes when I'm asleep I have dreams... no, Nightmares about being that person again.
How do you react when this fear manifests itself?
Usually I wake up in a panic; sweating and freaking out... I remember waking up and writing down this chemical formula... I don't know what the heck it was supposed to do... but then I realized that, whatever it was, it was probably something horrible, so I burned it.
What are your attitudes regarding material wealth?
I'm someone who has relatively simple tastes suddenly blessed with a lot of income. I think the temptation would be to run out and buy a gold plated hummer... but I'm not going to go dine at Pharos, when what I really want is a hamburger.
Are you miserly with your share of the wealth, or do you spend it freely?
I've got my funds set up as an annuity, so if I burn through my bank account today, I have more next week. I don't generally use up all my available money, so it usually accumulates. I think I've already established a charitable fund... I'll have to check into details.
Do you see wealth as a mark of success, or just as a means to an end?
My perspective is kind of screwy... I thought I could use my superpowers to gain a reasonable amount of wealth... but I won the "Lawsuit Lottery." I'm pretty well off, and I didn't have to do anything.
How do you generally treat others?
That's sort of a matter of opinion. Women fall into my bed way too easily. I could exaggerate the brutal truth to them: Not only will I kick you out in the middle of the night, I won't call afterwords and they'd still do it. They probably think that they're the one I'm going to fall in love with... so they get disappointed when I don't.
Do you trust easily (perhaps too easily) or not?
I tend to be pretty trusting, but I wouldn't say that I'm not reasonably cautious.
Are you introverted (shy and withdrawn) or extroverted (outgoing)?
I used to be really introverted... once I became Pompadour, I became really extroverted.
Are you a humble soul or blusteringly proud?
That would dependent on whether you think my opinion of myself is unjustified.
What habits do you find most annoying in friends?
I don't really know... I'll get back to you if I notice something.
What are your most annoying habits?
I don't really know... I'll get back to you if someone tells me I have some.
Is there any race, creed, alignment, religion, class, profession, political viewpoint, or the like against which you are strongly prejudiced, and why?
Fundies make my scalp itch.
What is your favourite food?
I like me some classic drive-in. Big Stacked Burger and a Five Dollar Shake.
What is your favourite drink?
These answers may change, pending finalized endorsement contracts: I'm not too particular. If I'm out at a bar, I'll drink Miller Lite from the bottle, but that has as much to do with style as preference. For straight up taste, I like Cherry Coke.
What is your favourite treat (desert)?
Either vanilla ice-cream with strawberry sauce, or fudge brownies.
Do you favour a particular cuisine?
Classic American
Do you savor the tastes when eating or "wolf down" your food?
I'm not likely to spend 4 hours nibbling on a 12 course meal, but I'm not in any hurray.
Do you like food mild or heavily spiced?
Not too mild.
Are there any specific foodstuffs that you find disgusting or refuse to eat?
I suspect as I go to higher end parties and get exposed to more culture... I'm going to be offered food that falls under the "Emperor's New Clothes" provision... just because it's expensive, doesn't mean it's good.
What are your favourite colour(s)?
I kind of like Red.
Is there any colour that you dislike?
No. Who hates a colour?
Do you have a favourite (or hated) song, type of music, or instrument?
I play a stand-up bass, and I really like it. It's the backbone of Rockabilly and Psychobilly music.
If you have a favourite scent, what is it?
uhm?
What is your favourite type of animal?
uhm?
Are you allergic to any kinds of animals?
Don't think so.
Is there anything that enrages you?
Lots of stuff makes me angry, but no particular thing pushes my berzerk button.
Is there anything which embarrasses you?
I always keep my cool.
Do you enjoy "roughing it", or do you prefer your creature comforts?
Roughing is less than 3 stars.
Do you have a patron deity?
Uhm... maybe? I guess so.
Are you devout or impious?
I wouldn't say indifferent, exactly...
Do you actively worship and proselytize or do you simply pay lip service?
er...
What lengths would you go to defend your faith?
uhm...
Was your faith influenced or molded by anyone special?
hmm...
Do you belong to a dominant church, or an independent church, cult, or sect (and is the group accepted, frowned upon, or considered heretics)?
I have no idea.
Will you kill?
Not if I can help it.
When did you decide (or learn) that you would?
I don't know if I can.
When do you consider it okay to kill (under what circumstances)?
I can understand that there are times when it would be, but I don't think that I'm the person that should be making that decision.
When do you consider it wrong to kill (under what circumstances)?
Most of them.
What would you do if someone else attempted to (or successfully did) kill under your "wrong" circumstances, what would be your reaction?
I know my limitations. I'm not the right person to make those calls... and it would be best to turn it over to someone who was.
What if it were your enemy?
That makes it easier to turn them over to justice.
What if it were your friend?
That makes it harder.
What if the opponent were not in control of their own actions (under duress, charmed, dominated, possessed)?
That makes it complicated... and we've already established I'm not a moral authority.
What would you do if something were stolen from you?
There's not a lot of stuff I have that can't be replaced.
What would you do if you were badly insulted publicly?
I have people to handle that sort of thing.
What would you do if a good friend or relative were killed by means other than natural death?
I'd be looking for justice, I guess... in whatever nebulous way is best suited to this nebulous question.
What is the one task you would absolutely refuse to do?
Probably something gross.
What do you consider to be the worst crime someone could commit and why?
Some creepy dude is always saying something like "Death isn't the worst thing that can happen to you." So, I kind of think it's not murder... but I'm not sure what it is.
How do you feel about government (rulers) in general? Why do you feel that way?
I sometimes wish I could be convinced they were actually the right people for the jobs... or that the real rulers of the country aren't the faceless bureaucrats we never see.
Do you support the current government of your homeland?
Yes, but not fanatically.
If so, how far are you willing to go to defend the government? If not, do you actively oppose it?
I'll give them my vote and my voice, until they give me reason to do otherwise.
What form of government do you believe is the best (democracy, monarchy, anarchy, aristocratic rule, oligarchy, matriarchy) and why?
Democracy. Unless Matriarchy means rule by the hottest chick, I could get behind that.
Do you have any unusual habits or dominant personality traits that are evident to others?
My hair is as useful to me as my hands, if not more so. I'm as likely to use them as I am my hands, even if I'm not trying to show off that I have a special ability.
If so, describe them and how you acquired them, as well as when they might be more noticeable and what causes them.
Well, there was this show...
Do you have any unusual or nervous mannerisms, such as when talking, thinking, afraid, under stress, or when embarrassed?
Not that I know of.
What is your most treasured possession?
My bass is a custom piece, I'm thinking probably that.
If your life were to end in 24 hours, what 5 things would you do in those remaining hours?
Anything I write here is probably cliche... and the truth is you'll never know until you really are in that situation. This, also, has been a cliche.
Career & Training
Where and how were you educated?
I have a business diploma from a community college.
Who trained you in your adventuring class(es)?
Yeah... I should get me some of that.
What was your relationship with your teacher(s)/mentor(s)?
I doubt you're asking about college...
Is this person or institution still in existence?
Sure...
Were you a prize student or did you just barely pass?
I got good grades.
Look at your skills. How did you acquire them (especially the unusual ones)?
I don't think I have any really unusual skills.
Have you ever done anything else for a living?
Not really.
How do you function in combat (maneuvers, weaknesses)?
Yeah... again, I should look into some sort of super-training.
Have you ever received any awards or honours?
Nothing really worth mentioning.
Is there anything that you don't currently know how to do that you wish you could?
Most of the skills I have I just need to improve on.
Are you envious of others who can do such things in a good-natured way or are you sullen and morose about it?
This mostly makes me think of music, where no matter how popular you get, you will always turn into a babbling fanboi around your influences and idols.
Lifestyle & Hobbies
When not adventuring, what is your normal daily routine?
I don't really have one... my life is just getting started, and I haven't really put it in order, or an order yet.
How do you feel and react when this routine is interrupted for some reason?
Interruptions mean something interesting is happening, and that's cool.
What are your hobbies when you are not adventuring or training?
I like going to shows, and carousing... I'm also working on song-writing and improving my musical craft.
What do you do for relaxation? What things do you do for enjoyment? What interests do you have?
I need to explore that side of myself more. My days are an open book, and I need to find more lines for the pages.
How do you normally dress when not in your adventuring gear?
I wear the same sort of stuff all the time.
What do you normally wear in bed at home?
When you have Egyptian cotton and silk blend sheets with a ridiculous thread-count, you sleep naked.
What do you normally wear in bed while adventuring?
If some sort of escapade keeps me out past my bedtime, I probably will end up sleeping in my clothes.
Do you wear any identifiable jewelry?
Currently I don't wear anything... maybe I should check into some Bling.
Where do you normally put your weapons, magic items, or other valuables when you are sleeping?
I've never journeyed to Mordor... the closest I've been was a trip to Milwaukee to see a band called The Ring Wraiths.
What morning or evening routines do you normally have?
In the morning, I have breakfast. At night, I go to bed.
Do these change when you are adventuring?
I hope not. I like my breakfast and my sleep.
Travel: how do you get around locally?
I could zip through town on tendrils of hair... but I'm not really experienced with that yet. I have a custom street-rod that works pretty well.
Do you have a Last Will and Testament?
I'll have to check with my agent on that.
What does it say?
It ought to say something like: I got something to say! It's better to burn out... than fade away.
Miscellaneous
What would you like to be remembered for after your death?
I'm not sure. I wanted to be a star, through my music. This super hero thing is a new idea... so, I think I'm just going to say "yes." Next question...
What kind of threat do you present to the public?
None, I hope. I do worry that I might somehow remember how to think like the Sinister Pompadour... and that the Super Intelligence I had will still come with a side order of Psychopath.
If your features were to be destroyed beyond recognition, is there any other way of identifying your body?
I have a hunch that my hair would survive a nuclear blast at ground zero, even if the rest of me were scattered atoms.
As a player, if you could, what advice would you give your character? Speak as if he/she were sitting right here in front of you. Use proper tone so they might heed your advice...
Quit being such a douchebag. Seriously. If you stop your seek & destroy style serial dating, you will find more satisfaction in maintaining a long term relationship with one special woman.
