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So Long, Again...


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Hi folks,


For those who don't know, I am leaving the site, again. I can't say permanently, for nothing is eternal. 


Its been 13K+ posts, its been an awful lot of GMing, I'd probably say that I have been the most active GM on this site ever. Now is not the time for false modesty. I have been good, and I have been bad, and I have been everything in between. 


I left about 18 months ago. I popped back in, to chat, to get some help with an article I was writing. Everyone was very friendly and helpful, and thank you for that. Possibly unfortunately (in retrospect), I was persuaded (and this is no critique of the persuaders or persuasion) to come back. I have enjoyed my time back. 


But not enough. 


For those who you who I have spoken to over the years, you will be aware that I am of the view that we all have our own agendas, and sometimes they come into conflict. I find myself in a position of being in conflict with the general atmosphere and indeed direction of the site. Over the past few months, the changes and directions of the site have irritated me, and lead to a further divergence of agendas. 


This is not a snap decision, I have been teetering for months. I have other creative projects in mind and I have been torn up deciding which way to go in my life for that creativity. I realise that I can never treat this site as a more than a side project, and I don't think that's something that works very well here - at least not for me. Whilst I split my attention often, my heart must be in any project or creation pretty completely. 


Because I can't commit to this site, I don't feel valued. And if I don't feel valued, I can't commit. 


I have come to realise I am a coward at breaking up and ending things. Vexed, I have consulted the I Ching on two occasions over the last week. I am not supernaturally inclined, but I find its answers help disentangle a mind and heart in conflict. The answers I received where enlightening; firstly, that my creative endeavours would be productive and heartening if I chose to use them fully, and secondly, that my relationship with FCPbM was a "loveless marriage". On reflection, I think that means just as FCPbM is not particularly good for me, neither am I particularly good for it. 


To my friends and story tellers, my best. 


To the people I am currently in threads with, my apologies. 


To the people I have GMd for recently, I hope you had a good time :)


Some of you have my email address or other ways of contacting me on the internet. Feel free to do so. 





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