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Hetep (PL14 NPC, Tier 1)

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Player Name: Arichamus
Character Name: Hetep("Peace")
Power Level: 14
Trade-Offs:, -3 Defense / +3 Toughness
Unspent PP: 0

In Brief: Alternate-earth former Master Mage come to Earth-Prime to try and make a new life for himself, hampered by his poor understanding of how this world works.

Quote: "Humanity is mired in a thousand hatreds, and so breeds ten thousand evils! I, the bringer of Hetep, will free them!"

Alternate Identities: Massawa/The Contrarian
Identity: Secret
Birthplace: Egypt, Earth J-21
Occupation: Sorcerer
Affiliations: Magical entities, superheroes.
Family: Bes-Anti(father), Sacmis(mother) No siblings.

Age: 127
Apparent Age: 38
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: Ancient Nubian/Ethiopian
Height: 6' 8"
Weight: 245 Lbs.
Eyes: Brown.
Hair: Black with green tinting.

Description: Massawa is surprisingly well-proportioned and handsome, with long curly hair usually pulled back in a ponytail that goes down to his waist, archaic spectacles held onto his head with a thick metal band, and an open, pleasant face tinged with a note of impatience. His normal wear is a long green robe with complex gold patterns of cranes decorating it. He wears it loosely and with considerable discomfort, looking less like he wears than suffers their presence. His right arm is a crude-looking replacement made of ornamented bronze, covered with Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Power Descriptions: Massawa magical powers by now are mostly those of a Hermetic, one who has achieved a measure of power by long study and the unveiling of the inner divinity, allowing him plentiful ways to attack others or defend himself. They are flashy and powerful, but but hardly subtle or flexible. The power granted to him by his service and worship of the gods of Heliopolis, however, give him far more ability, from creating an immense stone head in the mouth of which he has fought many duels, tearing asunder the works of other wizards with a slash from an ethereal pen, or moving at tremendous speed Long years of studying how the human mind and a little of the brain works has led him to the manufacture of a spell that obliterates every thought of aggression from the target, which has the ("Regrettable, yet necessary")effect of turning them into what could charitably called subdued drones, the spell actually slowing down response times and even the most basic of thoughts to keep any violence from the victim's mind.

History: Born on a world ruled over by two archaic and tradition-steeped empires, one ruled by the Incas, the other by the Pharaohs, and both wielding powerful magic, Massawa's gifts were hidden for nine years after his birth until the threat of violence against a friend unleashed them. He was taken from his family as the apprentice of that Earth's Master Mage, Bogdan Mihnea. The man tried to direct his talents and mind to productive ends, teaching Massawa how to understand and use his gifts by cruel training and bitter isolation. The loneliness drove him to his prayers, until at the age of fifteen when they were answered and the gods of Heliopolis appeared before him and taught him their secrets, revealing as well that his teacher wished to conquer the world and become its Dark Lord. Training in secret for the next few years, and armed with the knowledge that Bogdan feared fire, Massawa ambushed the wizard right after he started the last phase of his plan to send the world spiraling into chaos, striking when the man left his castle and was vulnerable, using his right arm as a teleporting fire bomb to send his mentor hurtling in mortal pain and terror into space.


Setting out to take his master's place as Master Mage, Massawa industriously set out to unravel Bogdan's plots and gathered many others to his side, from divine champions to brilliant inventors, to keep peace on that Earth. The Majestic Twelve as they came to be called were profoundly successful at destroying the Romanian mage's monstrous plan, but attempts to reach their second and higher goal met with utter failure. While the massive empires were grateful to have such a band going around the world and helping solve people's problems, the Incas of the Americas and Pharaohs of Eurasia looked with a lot less favor on Massawa taking the place of Bogdan Mihnea and attempting to truly change the world, the abrasive, halting and awkward young Nubian, with his utter lack of contacts and few friends outside the Twelve or his family,was far less trusted than his distant but respected predecessor who had made sure he knew the names of every junior clerk. No matter what efforts he or his comrades made to bring real peace to the world dissolved under the hundreds of years of mutual distrust and suspicion for any interlopers to the world order.


After almost two decades, at the age of 36, Massawa decided he'd had enough. Ships were disappearing throughout the ocean, and naturally both of the empires furiously blamed the other for it no matter how much the comparatively young Master Mage tried to convince them that it was the work of forgotten Atlantis. He even brought ambassadors from the Sea-King himself who demanded that the surface nations enter into trade and diplomatic relations with the mighty undersea power, only to be roundly dismissed as an invention of either side. After that, the Thothian wizard lost all temper and patience with the world, condemning both sides, taking his family aboard the extradimensional castle the Master Mage's of his world used, and setting sail across the Cosmic Coil. He left a curt message for the rest of the Twelve, urging them to seek shelter for their family and friends in Atlantis, and bidding them the best of luck.


He then left, searching for a world where he really could make a difference, a world where its troubles weren't buried millenniums deep, and he could bring peace, something he vowed to bring to people, no matter what he had to do, and declaring it his name henceforth. His fervent adherence to that mission gradually drove his very family from him, and no matter how earnest his protests of sanity and virtue were, they trickled away to the countless other Earths along the Coil. In the all too crushingly familiar loneliness that followed, Hetep's dream of peace hardened into obsession, and tempered his resolve into iron.


Personality & Motivation: Massawa is a deeply bitter man. He has had the misfortune to see the evil side of nearly everything humans have made for the continuation of civilization, and thus places little hope in any institution devised by mortals. His mystical gifts, meanwhile, have brought him little but evil, pain and disappointment, and he is eager, should he meet someone who thinks magic wonderful and a powerful tool, to disabuse them of the first notion and remind them of the peril of the second. that said, he is still very much the would-be Master Mage he once was, and while his morals are deeply wounded he will still protect the innocent against threats besides himself. In less dire situations, he has very refined behavior and conveys himself with impeccable manners and bearing, albeit short-tempered and precise with his words, making absolutely clear his likes and dislikes.

By far the thing that makes him most likely to attack someone is the chance to avert war or other large-scale bloodshed, politicians rallying against a foreign enemy being by far in the most danger with their public supporters(or those tolerant of them) a close second.

Powers & Tactics: Hetep rarely fights, preferring the debate method of swaying people to his views. If pressed into combat however he fights with considerable restraint, attempting to separate foes from each other and deal with them individually, diligently experimenting with various attacks and strategies to discover weaknesses. By and large he attempts first to overwhelm the mind of his adversary, only falling back to physical violence if that fails or if they aren't capable of being affected that way, and keeps as far from his foe as he can.

Hatred: Warmongers Suffice to say that if he learns you actively support or have caused a war anywhere for any reason at all he'll do his level best to kill you, see how well YOU like it.
Obsession: Ending conflict. After seeing his world spiral out of control before his eyes, Massawa will do just about anything to end conflicts of any kind, including ones he himself begins.
Phobia: Aging The castle he dwells in slows down the decay of his body, and its power lingers for a long time outside, but he is terrified all the same of the effect the remorseless march of time has on him. Something that would speed up his aging or keep him from his castle's power would be a powerful bargaining chip in dealing with him.

Abilities: 12 + 8 + 8 + 14 + 8 + 6 = 52PP
Strength: 22 (+6)
Dexterity: 18 (+4)
Constitution: 18 (+4)
Intelligence: 24 (+7)
Wisdom: 18 (+4)
Charisma: 16 (+3)

Combat: 20 + 8 = 28PP
Initiative: +12
Attack: +10 Base, +12 Ranged, +14 Arrows of Neith
Grapple: +15
Defense: +10 (+4 Base, +6 Dodge Focus), +2 Flat-Footed
Knockback: -8/-1

Saving Throws: 10 + 10 + 14 = 34PP
Toughness: +17 (+3 Con, +14 [Force Field], +0/+14 Impervious)
Fortitude: +13 (+3 Con, +10)
Reflex: +14 (+4 Dex, +10)
Will: +18 (+4 Wis, +14, +0/+14 Impervious)

Skills: 76R = 19PP
Concentration 12 (+16) Skill Mastery
Diplomacy 12 (+15)
Intimidate 12 (+15)
Knowledge(Arcane Lore) 17 (+16) Skill Mastery
Knowledge(Civics) 8 (+15) Skill Mastery
Knowledge(Cosmology) 13 (+20) Skill Mastery
Knowledge(History) 11 (+18)

Feats: 25PP
Accurate Attack
All-Out Attack
Attack Focus(Melee) 2
Attack Focus(Ranged) 3
Attractive 2
Dodge Focus 6
Equipment 5 [25EP]
Fearsome Presence
Improved Initiative 2
Skill Mastery [Concentration, Knowledge(Arcane Lore), Knowledge(Civics, Knowledge(Cosmology)]

Equipment 5PP = 25EP wrote:

Headquarters: Extra-dimensional Castle.

Size: Awesome [6EP]
Toughness: +25 TOU [4EP]
Concealed 2
Holding Cells 2
Isolated 2
Life Support
Living Space 4
Power 4 (Flight 10(10,000 MPH) Super-Movement: Dimensional Movement 3(Any Dimension to Any), Super-

Senses 4: Postcognition 1(Past Tapestries), Teleport 10)

Powers: 4 + 28 + 48 + 11 + 34 + 13 =138PP
All descriptors as 'magic' and 'divine'.

Comprehend 3(Spoken Languages, Spirits. Understand all, speak all(one at a time))[4PP]

Force Field 14[28PP](Shield of Crowned Heads)

Gift of the Nile 21(42PP array, Feats: Alternate power 6)[48PP]

Base Power: Nullify Magic 20(All Powers at Once; Feats: Selective)[41P] Forbiddance of Thoth
AP: Blast 13 (Arrows, Piercing, Magic; 10 130ft. increments, 1300ft. range; Extras: Autofire 1, Penetrating 11; Flaws: Distracting; Feats: Accurate, Affects Insubstantial 2, Incurable)[42PP] Shafts of Neith
AP: Create Object 15(Extras: Duration(Continuous), Impervious; Flaws: Action(Full-Round), Distracting, One Shape; Feats: Affects Insubstantial 2, Precise, Progression 6(Size, 7500ft. Square Cubes), Stationary)[40PP]Mouth of Geb
AP: Emotion Control 14(Extras: Area(Selective, Burst, 475ft.), Linked(Mind Control); Flaws: Range(Ranged), Limited(Calm) Feats: Progression 2(Range))[16PP]+Mind Control 13( Extras: Effortless, Linked(Emotion Control; Flaws: Distracting)[26PP] [16+26=42PP] Mandate of Ma'at
AP: Healing 13(Extras: Affects Objects, Total; Flaws: Distracting; Feats: Peristent, Regrowth)[41PP] Remaking of Khnum
AP: Immunity 20(Mental Effects, Interaction Skills, Grappling; Extras: Linked(Damage))[20PP] + Damage 10(Extras: Alternate Save(Will); Feats: Affects Insubstantial 2)[22PP] [20+22=42PP Guise of Bata
AP: Speed 9(5,000MPH, 50,000ft. per round.; Extras: Linked(Impervious, Super-Movement, Trip; Feats: Wall Run))[10PP] + Impervious Toughness 14(Extras: Linked(Speed, Super-Movement, Trip))[14PP] + Super-Movement 3(Dimensional Movement 2(Mystic Dimensions), Water-Walking; Extras: Linked(Speed, Impervious, Trip))[6PP] + Trip 12(Extras: Linked(Impervious, Speed, Super-Movement))[12PP] = [10+14+6+12= 42PP] Crown of Unat

Immunity 11(Aging, Emotion Effects, Swords)[11PP]

Impervious Will 14[14PP]

Magic 15(30PP Array, Power Feats: Alternate Power 7)[37PP]
Base Power: Blast 14(Feats: Variable Descriptor 2(Magical Descriptors))[30PP]
AP: Animate Object 10[30PP]
AP: Dazzle 10(Visual, Tactile and Auditory)[30PP]
AP: Flight 10(Extras: Affects Others)[30PP]
AP: Nullify Technology 10(All Traits at Once; Extras: Effortless)[30PP]
AP: Obscure 15(150-ft.; Visual, Olfactory Senses)[30PP]
AP: Snare 10(Extras: Area(Targeted, Shapeable(50-ft. blocks)[30PP]
AP: Telekinesis 10(Extras: Damaging)[30PP]

DC Block:
ATTACK                 RANGE          SAVE                                     EFFECTUnarmed                         Touch           DC22 Toughness (Staged)       Damage (Physical)

Abilities (46) + Combat (24) + Saving Throws (34) + Skills (13) + Feats (15) + Powers (75) -

Drawbacks (0) = / Power Points

Edited by Arichamus

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Initiative is only +4

You forgot to do your Grapple Bonus.

You didn't include your Con Bonus in your Fort or Tough saves.

You have 12 ranks in Skills, not 11.

If you're going to buy Attack Focus Melee AND Attack Focus Ranged, just buy Attack instead.

Your Feats section says you have 7 ranks in Dodge Focus, but your Combat line says Dodge Focus 5.

Skill Mastery gives you Mastery in 4 different Skills, not just 1.

The HQ:

+55 Toughness is way, way too far off the charts. Cut it in half, at least.

Hidden isn't a Feature I'm aware of.

Holding Cells 3 doesn't exist, the max you can have is 2.

Isolated, and Library don't have ranks at all.

Dimensional Movement has a Maximum of 3 ranks, and Powers for a HQ cost only 1 EP.

The Blast power has a range increment of 110ft.

You've spent 76 points in Powers.

And looking over everything, you've spent 188 points.

I haven't looked over the fluff yet either, just a heads up.

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Fixed the math issues, and now I'm thinking it would be good to let this guy bake for a while. While there might well be other issues, I'd prefer the biggest not be ill-done math. With your permission, I'll take this guy back into the Character Building forum for refurbishing.

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Hokay, I get a very strong feeling that I'm doing something very wrong with this guy, anybody feeling in the mood to correct me on what this mistake might be? I'm thinking it might be the basic composition and make-up of his powers but I dunno.

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