On the First Day of Christmas... (IC)

[quotemyname]

"Power." Colt stated, pointing to a large red button. "Turns all them things on." He decided to let Tempest remain in control of the equipment, but guided him through the rough spots.

"Reckon yer doin' mighty fine. Now, "DVD," good. "Menu," alrighty. An' "Play," perfect!"

[Geez3r]

Tempest pushed the button in the correct order. The whole process took nearly 5 minutes, not because Tempest was bad at following the instructions or anything, but he merely needed to know the rational behind the naming process for each and every single button and why they needed to be pressed in this particular sequence. He also wished to know if any of the button's names were derived from any other religions. Finally however, they were watching the Christmas movie.

[quotemyname]

"So, What'd'ja think?" Colt asked when the movie was finally over. "Ain't really too explicit 'bout the meanin' a' Christmas, but I reckon the mood it sets is explanation enough."

[Geez3r]

"I don't get it." replied Tempest, as he cocked his head to the side. "Don't humans usually watch movies for enjoyment? What was enjoyable about that movie? What I saw in that movie was nothing but a collection of scenes meant to invoke the condition of depression. I thought the holidays were meant to be a time of joy and celebration."

[quotemyname]

"Granted that is the tone'a the overall movie," Colt tried to explain, "didja miss the whole last scene? Where the parents're sittin' on the couch?" Colt was at a loss for words. This was going to be harder than he thought. "Despite everythin' that happened, despite the car breakin' down, an' the Bumpus hounds stealin' the turkey, they end up feelin' good 'bout the holiday. It's meant ta say, 'ya jus' can't compete with Christmas spirit'."

[Geez3r]

"But what about the next day. None of their problems went away. The day after Christmas, all of those problems will still be there to greet them, there was no resolution to any of their problems. The Christmas Spirit condition is nothing more than a glorified delusion. It is a pain killer, not a problem solver. The humans i the movie choose to remain ignorant of their problems. Is ignorance really something the humans celebrate?"

[quotemyname]

"Yes!" Colt exclaimed. "That's it. Ya hit the nail on the head there."

Colt offered Tempest's own explanation back to them. "Yer right 'bout the fact that their problems're still there. But fer jus' one little moment, in the middle'a their crazy lives, Christmas's allowed'em ta forget 'bout all that. Fer one little bit they c'n relax. 'An it's that feelin' that's so great. It's that feelin' that people love 'bout them holidays."

[Geez3r]

This was truly puzzling. "But why then is being called "ignorant" an insult for the rest of the year. If I were to say that all of the female humans were inferior to the male humans, and that their primary location should be in the kitchen, I would be called ignorant. Furthermore, this moniker would be meant in a derogatory fashion. Could I not retort that I was merely being ignorant for the sake of the Christmas Spirit? And would my ignorance therefore not be celebrated?"

[quotemyname]

"Reckon that's a vocabulary problem." Colt responded after a moment of thought. "Them folks in the movie ain't ignorant, their just oblivious ta their problems. Their Christmas cheer overshadows all their problems."

Colt shrugged, "There ain't much else ta say. Maybe we should watch another one? Maybe it'll help?"

[Geez3r]

"Very well. Perhaps the next movie will help me achieve a greater level of understanding that I currently have. Though given you repeated attempts to convince me that I am in the wrong, it should not be a difficult task." Tempest paused for a moment. "Either that or it is a testament to the difficulty of the task. Now, which movie should we watch next? Boom de ya da, boom de ya da."

[quotemyname]

"Boom de ya da?" Colt raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Shrugging, he decided to chalk that one up to Tempest being Tempest. "Right...How bout this'n?" Colt held up another DVD: Miracle on 34th St.

[Geez3r]

"It is a statement I have heard the humans use before. I thought it would be a good time to use the phrase, clearly I was mistaken. I have been attempting to use more of the human sayings in my speech patterns Colt human. Yes, that movie appears to be adequate. It may also serve to explain the concept of a miracle which I have also been curious of."

[quotemyname]

"Ah well, reckon miracle's're gonna be just as tough as Christmas," Colt mused as he slipped the second movie in. "I'm gonna go make some pop-core fer this." Colt stood and entered the other room.

From the TV room, Tempest could hear Colt banging and clanking in the kitchen. "Ya remember how ta set it up, don't'cha?" From inside the kitchen, something went, whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirr.

Colt returned with a bowl full of a yellow fluffy looking substance, which he grabbed a handful of and shoved it in his mouth. "Here, ya go. Try some. Tough thing 'bout miracles is that they're lit'rally defined as, 'some inexplicable event that causes a great good.' There ain't no understandin'em. By the nature of'em it's just impossible. We been tryin' ta wrap our heads 'round'em fer centuries now."

[Geez3r]

Tempest began fiddling with the controls and soon enough the opening credits were playing. "I appears I do remember." called Tempest. Tempest took a singular piece of popcorn and examined it thoroughly before popping it in his mouth. Nodding in appreciation, he took a handful of the popcorn as Colt had.

"So a miracle is some event that humans have no explanation for, but creates some sort of good effect. And if I am right about this, because none of the humans know what causes miracles, or even if there is a cause, the only similarity they ave other than their abstract mystery is the net results such an event creates?" Tempest pauses for a moment in contemplation. "For a species that likes to discover much about your surroundings, it is beginning to sound like you achieve a great deal of the pleasure in your lives from ignorance."

[quotemyname]

"Reckon that's very true." Colt replied as he settled in to watch the next movie. "It's true that many of us would actually rather not knowing something than knowing it." Colt took another handful of popcorn and plopped it into his mouth. By the time he was done chewing, the opening credits are about finished. He polished off the discussion with, "Especially true in'a case'a information that disgusts'n frightens us."

The movie that began to play was one of Colt's favorites. The message was clear: There is a certain inexplicable power to events that we cannot understand. Good will and great kindness can accomplish great things. Feelings like love and joy are so powerful that they practically make the world go around. Miracle on 34th street was a true incarnation of the Christmas Spirit.