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August 15, 2013

The messages arrived in different ways for different heroes - Cannonade and Wander had theirs delivered to one of the anonymous tip drop boxes the Liberty League used to collect correspondance, Wail had his delivered by standard mail to Keith LaMarr's home address, while Willow's came via a scanned copy emailed directly to Vince. They were instantly recognizable as odd - the envelopes weren't paper but vellum, some sort of processed animal skin, and the stamps affixed to them were wildly overpaid, as if someone had bought a chunk of postage and slapped it on an envelope without knowing how the value of postage actually worked.

Inside the envelopes lay a simple message written in thick, heavy block printing - again on vellum, albeit by something that looked more like a pencil. HELLO YOU ARE INVITED TO THE ADULTED HOOD CELEBRATION OF RUNS-WITH-FANGS-BARED. PLEASE COME TO BATSTO VISITOR CENTER AT SUNSET TOMORROW IF YOU WANT TO COME. WITNESS MIGHTS OF WITH-FANGS-BARED CLAN AND RAPTOR EMPIRE. A quick trip to Google found the Batsto Vistor Center easily enough; a historic "living history" village deep in the heart of the Wharton State Forest. Heroes who remember the encounter with emissaries of the Raptor Empire will recall Runs-With-Fangs-Bared, the teenage daughter of the raptor commander who learned a lesson about not calling humans apes all the time.

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LaMarr's first instinct was to toss the letter in the forsaken corner of his workspace usually reserved for plagiarized assignments. If crashing the coronation gala of the illegitimate heir of the lava people or getting roped into organizing the ceremony for an arranged marriage between a certain eastern European noble and a werewolf had taught him anything it was that no good ever came from being the outsider at a warrior culture's formal event. And that nothing gets lava stains out of a rented tux... either of those times. He stopped short with the letter still in hand, however, considering the adolescent interdimensional saurian he'd briefly met. The passage into adulthood was never easy in any culture and if it had been one of his students inviting him to a similar coming of age celebration he would have been there without question. With a deep, rumbling sigh, the broad shouldered civics teacher began jotting down directions to the visitor center on a notepad.

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Erin puzzled over the invitation for a day or two after receiving it, wondering what the protocol was for attending a raptor coming-of-age party. She wondered if it was maybe like a bat mitzvah or a quincenera celebration, or if it was more like the cultures she'd read about in National Geographic where the adult-to-be had to eat bugs and get tattoos and be initiated into adulthood. Either way, she was probably supposed to bring a present, but what did raptors like? Meat, maybe, or something to sharpen their teeth and claws? Maybe something to decorate with, she supposed, remembering the general attitude surrounding Cannonade's headgear last time they'd encountered the Raptor Empire. That had been pretty funny. 

 

In the end, she did her best and picked up a vinyl case of a half-dozen acrylic paint pots, a couple of brushes, and a pad of white paper. Runs-With-Fangs-Bared might find a use for the paints even if raptors didn't do much art painting, and it was a hell of a lot easier than trying to wrap a live chicken. She wore her uniform without the mask and showed up at the appointed hour, wondering what on earth, or off it, she was getting herself into. 

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Cannonade looked at the invitation, turning it over and over again in his hands. He knew that being a superhero would expose him to situations he hadn't exactly been prepared for. It was just, when he'd started off, he thought that would mean "trips into space" and "how to put down a rampaging mad god." Not, say, "proper behavior and decorum at a young velociraptor's coming of age ceremony." He at least knew one thing not to do, but beyond that...

 

He wasn't quite sure about what sort of gifts to bring, or what gifts might be suitable for the young and growing dinosaur. He thought about getting venison, but that might be a mortal insult - after all, if the hunt was all for them, then food pre-killed and pre-dressed would be a real cheat. And the fall back answer didn't work, as raptors didn't have much use for gift certificates. In the end, he decided to chance it with the venison, with a choice of marinades offered for variety. He headed for the gathering place, dressed in his costume - though he'd wisely elected to leave his helmet at home this time. 

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Minerva considered the missive after thanking Vince, the Interceptors AI member, for its delivery and quietly suggesting he attempt to trace the origin; circumstances were different since the Brownstone and the team could ill-afford to have their headquarters compromised. For several reasons, the ancient protector thought with a downward glance at her sleeping daughter.

The white-haired woman was familiar with the Batsto Visitor Center, having spent a considerable amount of time in Wharton State Forest since she returned to activity in the area, though she was mildly curious as to how the extra-dimensional dinosaurs managed to arrange the after hours use of the village. Min left the apartment and went downstairs to seek out Erik, who she knew would be looking over the day-to-day running of his self-defense school. It would be her husband's turn to watch Eden this evening.

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VINCE reassured Min that this had come from checking around with his usual network of contacts, albeit from a third party none of the other programs knew. "I figured this was either a time travel thing or those dinosaur ladies again, and this means you don't have to hang out with any of those know-it-all 26th century guys." He winked, and pulled on a distinctly green dinosaur-themed baseball cap complete with what would have been felt fangs on the real thing. "If you see any dinosaur girls good with computers, send them my way, would ya? Cosmic Me knows this whole city full of reptiles and he says some of the ladies really have some bite." 

-

 

Batsto Village was quiet as the heroes approached it late in the day on the evening of the 16th - the visitors center itself had closed some four hours before sunset and even the cleaners were mostly gone by now. With the doors locked and the woods quiet, it might have been ominous if not for the beautiful sunset to the west and the sound of birds in the air. It was...tranquil. The only sign of anything out of the ordinary was what looked like a white chalk circle drawn in the middle of the deserted parking lot with GUESTS OF RUNS WITH BEARED FANGS PARTY written in an awkward, stubby all-caps, as if by somebody who didn't have a great command of the English language - and maybe by somebody who didn't have hands at all. 

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LaMarr arrived at the visitors center and stopped at the edge of the clearing, looking about and straightening his tie with his free hand. His suit looked surprisingly natural on his broad shouldered frame, having been one of a few outfits he'd had specifically tailored to his substantial physique. Under his other arm rested a wrapped, ovular gift roughly the size of a dinner plate, done up in layers of dark, slightly translucent paper he'd had left over from whenever the last time he'd needed to wrap something, though for the life of him he couldn't seem to recall when that had been.

Stepping over to the chalk circle, he made a grumbling sound deep in his chest. There was the unsettling suggestion of a giant 'X' in a cartoon with an anvil hanging over it. He suspected the question of how the interdimensional dinosaurs were popping onto Earth-Prime to deliver messages was about to be answered.

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Wander dropped into the parking lot just a few moments after Wail did, landing next to the visitor's center map and then walking out towards the chalk circle. In the dusk, her purple and black uniform blended with the gathering shadows from the trees. but her face gave her away with skin that was white even at the height of summer. There were definitely reasons beyond anonymity to wear the mask when she was working. She gave LaMarr a cordial nod as she examined the circle, then stepped inside. "Guess this is sort of a reunion," she commented. "How've you been?" 

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Cannonade likewise followed behind the others; he'd actually thought he'd glimpsed a few familiar orbits while in mid-air, and was glad to be proven right when he touched down. Even though he was mostly in costume, he'd clearly left the helmet behind, giving Wail and Wander a clear look at a guy in his early-to-mid 20s, with close-cropped sideburns and hair shorn quite close to the scalp. He carried with him a small styrofoam box, the kind that a catalog dealing in gourmet meats might use to distribute their wares. 

 

"Great to see you both again," he said. He'd seen both fairly recently, dealing with the fae enslavements alongside Wail and a whole suite of Liberty League business with Wander, but it was still a good way to open the conversation. "You guys ever feel like there should be some sorta handbook for new heroes, covering stuff like this?" 

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"Such a handbook wouldn't help," came a melodic contralto as a woman with long white hair crossed from the edge of the forest to join the others at the edge of the circle in the parking lot. "If it is one thing I have learned over the many years I've lived," continued Min, who to all outward appearances was in her mid 20's, "is that there will always be surprises."

"I was not expecting to see any of you again. I am, pleasantly, surprised." Willow smiled, and her amber eyes sparkled. "I trust that you are all well?"

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LaMarr snorted in amusement at Willow's pearl of wisdom, tapping one finger to the side of his sunglasses. "Preach, sister." Taking a moment to walk all the way around the chalk circle, he studied the ground around the marked area, occasionally looking up at the surrounding trees. He didn't particularly expect any sort of trap but there were plenty of reasons other than a party to get a few heroes together in one, secluded location. "Just don't let them sense any fear. Dinosuars are one thing, but there are teenagers."

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As the heroes talked, a sibilant hiss came from thin air just above the chalked circle on the parking lot. It was a voice like a great snake or other large lizard, like sandpaper rubbing together in a voicebox a little bit like a person's. It also sounded male, and maybe a little young. "Hey are you guysss coming? I can't go through myssself or I'll get in bad trouble. I know thisss is weird, but I promised Runsss I'd get her sssomething really great for her adulthood ceremony and I can't jussst go kill an ungulate for her like the other guysss, ssso I thought I'd get all her mammal friendsss to come to her party by sssurprise. C'mon, ssshe sssaid you guys do crazy ssstuff all the time!" 

 

There was the sound of a reptilian exhalation, and a faint sphere appeared about Min's head height inside the circle, the translucent ball acting like a window to reveal what sure enough was the head of a man-sized raptor, scales and short, patchy feathers on the head showing its ancestry that straddled both reptile and bird. "C'mon guysss, I'm worried about Runsss and the party. No one tellsss malesss anything but I think sssomething bad might happen. Sssince ssshe met you, her mother hasss been ssspeaking out againssst Orthodoxy and sssome of the believersss get pretty crazy when that happensss. We don't really have heroesss like you do. You wouldn't want to dump your friend who you fought that radioactive Orthodox sssupremacissst would you? Of courssse not." He had that kind of persuasiveness that teenagers are sure they have. "It won't be weird, anyone at Runsss' party isss probably pretty pro-mammal."

 

"My name is Thinksss-And-Eatsss," he added proudly. "Nice to meet you."

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Erin blinked at this new revelation, but didn't let it throw her too much. Being invited to a raptor birthday party was already weird enough that crashing a raptor birthday party didn't add much icing to the cake. "If you're sure we're not going to ruin the party," she told Thinks-and-Eats, hefting her present under one arm and checking her bat with her free hand. Generally she'd have gone unarmed to a costumed party, but she'd already suspected that in this case, to be disarmed would be a potentially disastrous show of weakness. She looked to the others. "Everybody ready?" 

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LaMarr wasn't exactly thrilled to learn that the invitation had been part of an attempt by a lovestruck teenager to impress the subject of his affections but he had to admit he saw much worse plans with the same aims on a nearly daily basis. Besides, a chance to potentially protect the family of an outspoken activist against violent bigots was a chance he doubted he'd ever turn down. "Well, you're not wrong about the 'crazy stuff', son," he rumbled in a deep voice that both conveyed amusement and imparted a pressing need to sit up straight and pay attention. "Takes more than a few nasty looks to make me leave a party anyway. Beam us up."

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It said a lot about his general experiences in life that all Cannonade could think at this moment was, Ah, young romance. No matter what dimension, no matter what sentient species, someone would always be doing something just a little bit idiotic for whoever they loved. But the young raptor did have a point. If this Orthodoxy movement was as established as he said, then Runs-with-Fangs-Bared's mother must have made some enemies ensuring that the criminal had been taken out. The fact that said criminal was a radioactive Nazi dinosaur had somehow just become another background detail in Cannonade's head. 

 

"Always wanted to crash a party," he said. "Just hope the hostess goes gentle." 

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Once everyone was inside the white circle, an animated Thinks-and-Eats called out "Ready to go!" 

 

What followed was something novel. The universe, or at least the portions of it that were the sky, the parking lot, and the surrounding visitors center, seemed to stretch as if it were taffy being pulled by invisible hands, pulled so tight that everything outside the chalk circle took on the appearance of first stretched taffy, then spaghetti-like distortions stretching off into infinity, before there was a sudden SNAP - 

 

When there was light again, their little asphalt circle had moved to the center of a high-tech laboratory very much like one at HAX, some rooms in the Midnight Manor, or like some of the many labs Wail had seen over his long career. None of the heroes who'd come along on the mission were technicians themselves, but they could tell there was something 'retro' about this laboratory - there were crackling Jacob's Ladders and flasks of colored liquid labeled with curly, unreadable writing, and instead of computers there were electric typewriters surrounded by columns of paper. The room was big, but low-ceilinged, small enough that it 

 

"Hello there, hello there!" came a hissing voice from the other side of the big room, and from behind a tower of wired-together transitors covered with push-button switches came Thinks-and-Eats. The raptor padded up to the group, keeping his head pointed down as he made his approach. "You made it, hooray! I knew I could do it!" He made a hissing sound that was a laugh, peeking up with a cocked head like a bird. Up close the dinosaur was a little shabbier-looking than the proud warriors they'd seen before, smaller and a little plumper, with a rear leg that dragged behind him slightly as he skittered about the circle. "You are all here! Good good, good good!" 

 

Outside, through a thick curved window, the heroes could see a red clay road winding down a narrow hill towards a city in the distance, the yellow sun and blue sky looking just like Earth. Only a faint purple cast to the distant buildings, as if a skyscraper had been lightly painted royal colors, suggested they weren't in Kansas anymore. They looked to be about as far from the city as they had been from Freedom back home. What looked like a waterless hovercraft was sitting on a rocky hillside just outside the window, and the round door built into the wall next to it. 

 

When he stopped in front of Wail, he was about the size of one of Keith's younger students. "Let's go! I have a cargo hovercar that I can drive!" 

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The strange landscape and architecture took Cannonade by surprise. He was expecting that the Raptor Empire would be different from Earth-Prime; he just hadn't been expecting how similar it might be. Aside from the royal purple tinge, the skyscrapers wouldn't look that out of place in any other cityscape - they sure as hell didn't match to Freedom, but they looked fairly standard. He'd heard much about the Empire, but seeing it with his own eyes was both wondrous and a reminder that there were some constants in the multiverse.

 

One of which was that teenage drivers were something to be watched very closely. He turned back to Thinks-and-Eats. "Works for me," he said, trying to be reassuring and knowing that there was a chance he'd have to take the wheel. 

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The implication that this had been the young raptor's first attempt at interdimensional teleportation was not particularly reassuring but on the other hand he had apparently been fully successful so LaMarr supposed credit was due. "Good work, son," he rumbled, trying not to be too obvious as he took stock oh himself to make sure everything was still where it was supposed to be. Hefting the ovular present in his hand he climbed carefully into the back of the cargo skiff, making sure it was able to support his prodigious weight and placing himself in the center so not to sway to one side.

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Erin accepted the dimensional transport with equanimity; by now she'd traveled between dimensions so many times and in so many ways, she'd lost whatever nerves she'd once had about the process. Resting one hand lightly on her holstered bat, she took in the room and the surrounding area, cocking her head in a way that was slightly reminiscent of Thinks-and-Eats' regard. Nothing seemed particularly dangerous at the moment, with the possible exception of the large reptilian carnivore, but she'd have to take those on a case by case basis. "On the way," she suggested as she followed the others towards the hovercraft, "why don't you fill us in on what we can expect and how we should act at this party. None of us have ever been to a raptor get-together." 

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Thinks-and-Eats explained on the way, the hovercar phut-phutting along noticeably low to the ground once Wail was finally on board. He had a teenager's excitement as he spoke, obviously still thrilled to have the human (and otherwise) heroes there. "What we'll do first is we'll all go in and we'll socialize, and that will be...will be fun." He shook his long, pointed head like a dog shaking off water, his scaly fingers wrapped around the rubberized metal of the steering wheel. "It will mostly be people talking about things, like the holiday that's coming up, and how big Runs-With-Fangs-Bared is getting. She's the best hunter in our whole class, and she's sure to go to the warriors academy once she's an adult. She's just, she's just awesome, is what she is." 
 
Along the way, they passed through streets that were at once eerily familiar and terribly alien. The raptors had paved roads dotted with hovercars, but left their sidewalks unpaved, small packs of skittering hunters running back and forth on packed dirt beneath artificially planted giant ferns, the forest of skyscrapers above their heads a counterpoint to the natural ferns between sky and car. The raptors generally moved in packs of one or two smaller ones leading two or three larger ones. "So," he said curiously to Erin and Min, with the air of a smart kid who'd learned a new fact to wow his guests, "I understand human females give birth to their young live! That's very interesting!"  
 
Moving on from that subject, he cleared his throat with a scaly hiss as outside a small raptor bought something small and wriggling from a street vendor and tossed it to the bigger ones behind her, the large males seeming to laugh as they tore into the guinea pig-sized animal. "Anyway, ah, all you will have to do is be my guests. No one is going to try and eat you," he reassured them, "since that's not acceptable in a Fangs-Beared household. Commander Feeds-With-Rampant-Fangs-Bared will want to talk to you first, since you are surprise guests, but since you all have gifts, there will be no problem. Unless there is a problem! But that will be from the Orthodoxy clerics, not from anyone there," he added reassuringly. "They don't think humans are as good as people, but I know you guys are great," he said reassuringly. 
 
"If they serve food, you should ask for what Slayer-of-Machines-With-Fangs-Bared eats," he said, "she is the oldest of the family, and she has to eat her food dead and cooked all the time," he went on, sounding very sympathetic. As he talked, they pulled up in front of a large, round house cast in shades of purple, a mansion-sized dwelling that was obviously the home of the Fangs-Bared clan. The house itself stood on a nearly bare hillside, resting in the shade of those tall ferns that seemed to be favored in lieu of trees locally. He pulled up to the drop where the road became packed earth and rolled down his tinted window, pulling out keys and tossing them to a surprised-looking uniformed raptor who must have been the local valet. "They're with ME," he hissed with great pride, stretching out to his full height as they stepped out in front of the gates. As the iron structure swung open, the heroes could hear strange hissing, growling noises from behind the house, but their guide seemed unworried. "That's the early party, for the little ones." 
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Min was quietly attentive for most of the trip, though part of her mind was distracted from the peculiar aching loss she felt every time she left Earth. "Live birth is, with the exception of a few species, a common feature among mammals," Min said when the subject of childbirth was raised, she thought to comment on her own experience but Thinks-and-Eats had already moved on.

Instead she gave a short laugh on his assurances that neither she or the humans would be served up as a snack; anyone that tried to eat them might find the task rather difficult and not worth the trouble.

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Erin raised her eyebrows at the brief conversation about mammals, but thankfully that part of the conversation was past before she had to weigh in on it. She kept an eye on the situation on the ground and listened to the lecture on party etiquette, but was just as glad when they were back on the ground. She wasn't totally sure how old Thinks-And-Eats was by the standards of his kind, but she had vivid memories of teenage drivers, both herself and others, and decided it was probably overall safer to be on the ground, raptors and all. 

 

Hefting her gift once more, she followed the young raptor through the gates, her head automatically swiveling to take in the scene. She caught the strange noises just before Thinks-and-Eats mentioned them, and found herself more than a little curious. If a raptor coming-of-age party was perplexing, a raptor childrens' party was unfathomable. She detoured a few steps from the group, trying to catch a glimpse around the edge of the building without being too obvious. 

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"Son, use your head," Wail chided Thinks with the gentle but firm tone of an adult who wasn't upset but expected better. "I don't imagine you bring up the finer points of egg laying around your saurian sisters, now do you?" He liked the young raptor's enthusiasm but if he was going to have any chance wooing the object of his affections, he was going to have to learn to avoid putting his clawed feet in his mouth.

Still, the broad-shouldered human was careful not to do anything that might cost the preening Thinks any face as they entered the party. If anything, he allowed a small smirk to pull at one corner of his mouth; a flabbergasted valet was one of life's simple pleasures. "Alright now, you're our guide, you call the play," he told the raptor quietly, looking about without seeming anything but idly curious. "What are we looking out for here?"

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Cannonade took in the sights and sounds as they traveled, marveling at the sights of the Raptor Empire. One extinction event out of place, and this could have been Earth-Prime. For all that he'd seen thus far in his career as a hero, there was always that little thrill that came with seeing how things might have turned out - whether that thrill was excitement or dread depended on the world, of course. But sometimes it encouraged him to get glimpses of the similar. Thinks-and-Eats had that awkwardness that he remembered well from his high school years, when certain kids tried to make conversation with their seniors. With the separate party for the younger raptors, he remembered the time Suzie Liebowitz had invited him to her bat mitzvah, and how the younger kids had been shunted off with cake, a pinata, and a truly terrified clown.

 

And, with the Orthodoxy, there was a reminder that there were judgmental pricks everywhere. 

 

"Guessing the clerics are gonna stand out a bit," he said. "They all dress like --" He was about to say "Tyrannosaurus Reich," but that likely wouldn't work for the young raptor. "-- like authoritarian soldiers, or do they like to mix it up?" 

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"Oh, they probably won't bother with their robes here," said Thinks-and-Eats. "But you'll know them if you see any with heads like his," he said with a nod towards Wail. "They pluck their feathers as proof of their devotion to the Bringer." 

The raptor party was, in itself, surprisingly recognizable. Children played with something shaped like a four-legged animal, laughing as they tumbled all over each other to try and get the treats that were spilling out now with every blow, while adults watched the kids play, laughing and taking pictures with big old-fashioned flash cameras. Behind them were triangular buffet tables laden with snacks and adults sitting at round ones, some socializing, some eating, while a big bronze sculpture of the family matriarch loomed over everything in the shadow of the big house. At the sight of the new arrivals, the crowd's heads came up as one - like so many hawks hearing a disturbance, they raised scaled and feathered heads to study the humanoid intruders. "I have brought the mammal heroes of Earth!" called Thinks-and-Eats ebulliently as he practically bounded in the air with glee. "They are my guests!" 

 

It was also, of course, an alien scene - those children, raptors the size of kindergarteners, were jumping and leaping at what looked like some sort of four-legged mammal that had once been alive. The smiling adults bore sharp teeth in long, scaly mouths, and the buffet tables behind them were equally laden with wet, red and brown meat. Unlike the car seats, the tables bore the occasional hole in the surrounding benches that seemed to be designed to accomodate particularly bountiful raptor tails. The sculpture that loomed overhead was another raptor, a heroic version of the small, knobbly-bodied old raptor sitting surrounded by young, sturdy-looking companions, the statue and raptor missing an arm and bearing instead what looked like a deep burn scar over the spot. On the other side of the 'pinata' field, some even smaller younglings were sitting with adults, watching a puppetmaster put on a show about T-Rexes and raptors against a futuristic city overrun with trees. 

 

One familiar face approached them that they could all recognize - the Commander of the expedition that had come to Earth-Prime was as imposing as ever, for all that she had drawn herself up to loom over little Thinks. "Well, this is an interesting display of your manly prowess, boy," she said with a raspy laugh before she politely exposed the back of her head to the visitors. "Welcome to the First City of the Empire. I must admit, I never thought I'd see any of _you_ again. These are the mammals I have been speaking of!" she added, raising her voice to the rest of the party guests. "Proof that Raptorkind is not alone in the multiverse! That not every word spoken in the Bringer's texts is true!" And this time, when the bravest in the crowd headed towards them, the curiosity in their eyes wasn't exactly predatory. Not _exactly_, anyway.

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