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Max's Mines (for critiques and requests)


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I'm looking to expand my repertoire. So I've come to you for help. I make characters. You savage said characters critically. I learn! Also, I'll take requests too. They can be as weird or as mundane as you want. I'll try to make them. Then when they're done, we repeat process of posting and criticizing.

Sound good? Let's give it a go, shall we?

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Telepathic Martial Artist

PL10, 150PP


Abilities: 0 + 10 + 8 + 0 + 10 + 10 = 38PP

Strength 10 (+0)

Dexterity 20 (+5)

Constitution 18 (+4)

Intelligence 10 (+0)

Wisdom 20 (+5)

Charisma 20 (+5)

Combat: 8 + 8 = 16PP

Initiative +5

Attack +10 Melee, +4 Ranged

Grapple +15

Defense +10 (+4 Base, +6 Dodge Focus), +2 Flat-Footed

Knockback -5

Saving Throws: 0 + 5 + 5 = 10PP

Toughness +10 (+4 Con, +6 defensive roll)

Fortitude +4 (+4 Con, +0)

Reflex +10 (+5 Dex, +5)

Will +10 (+5 Wis, +5)

Skills: 0R = 19PP

Acrobatics 15 (+20, Skill Mastery)

Concentration 15 (+20)

Diplomacy 15 (+20, Skill Mastery)

Language 1 (Alien [native], English)

Notice 15 (+20, Skill Mastery)

Sense Motive 15 (+20, Skill Mastery)

Feats: 23PP

Acrobatic Bluff

Attack Focus (melee) 6

Defensive Roll 3

Dodge Focus 6

Grappling Finesse

Improved Grab

Improved Grapple

Improved Pin

Improved Trip

Skill Mastery (Acrobatics, Diplomacy, Notice, Sense Motive)

Powers: 10 + 26 + 8 = 44PP

Device 3 (quantum sword, easy to lose; Feats: Subtle) [10PP]

Base Power: Damage 10 (Feats: Improved Critical 2, Precise, Takedown Attack) {14/14}

Alternate Power: Drain Toughness 10 (Extras: Affects Objects; Flaws: Limited [Objects]; Feats: Precise) {11/14}

Mental Disciplines (20PP Array; Feats: Alternate Power 6) [26PP]

Base Power: Communication 10 (Extras: Linked) and Mind Reading 10 (Extras: Linked) {20/20}

Alternate Power: Damage 10 (Extras: Alternate Save [Will]) {20/20}

Alternate Power: Fatigue 10 (Extras: Alternate Save [Will]) {20/20}

Alternate Power: Mind Control 10 (Extras: Conscious, Duration [sustained]; Flaws: Range [Touch]) {20/20}

Alternate Power: Nauseate 10 (Extras: Alternate Save [Will]) {20/20}

Alternate Power: Paralyze 10 {20/20}

Alternate Power: Stun 10 (Extras: Alternate Save [Will]) {20/20}

Super-Senses 8 (Mental [Accurate, Acute, Extended, Radius, Ranged; danger sense, uncanny dodge]) [13PP]

Drawbacks: (-0) + (-0) = -0PP

Totals: Abilities (38) + Combat (16) + Saving Throws (10) + Skills (19) + Feats (23) + Powers (44) - Drawbacks (0) = 150/150 Power Points

This grew out of a silly idea. I was looking to make a perception range telepath and then I realized it'd be a lot more cost efficient to make them touch range. Then I got to thinking, "touch range telepathic powers? who could do that?" Vulcans. That's who. So this is basically a Vulcan with expanded telepathic powers beyond the mind meld. I would say they have "jedi powers", but jedi powers seem to be more physically offensive (besides the obvious and famous "mind trick"). In lieu of that, they got lightsabers. Dammit, I'm crossing the sci-fi streams! This can't be good at...

Max explodes.

Well, that was unfortunate. Mechanically, the Vulcan Jedi is all about getting up in your face and making you submit mentally. You may think they need less Mental Disciplines. Good on you. shuffle those points into feats. Speaking of feats. This sci-fi jam is a great grappler. For skills I've decided to make it a little bit suped up in a few places. Acrobatics for flippy stuff. The big deal changer here is Diplomacy. Maybe you don't want them to be a great talker. Maybe you want them to be a sly type (Bluff) or threatening (Intimidate). If you do, don't forget to incorporate that into your feats (Startle, Taunt, Distract, Fascinate, and the like).

So yeah, start flinging the comments and critiques!

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