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New Beginnings (OOC)


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It's still a little off in that last post. You've used different colors for the vines. Unless it was intentional to show their mood or something. I have to say, I like the idea of you using the brown text for them, as they're a henna tattoo, right? Perhaps you should embolden the text for them to further accentuate it.

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No mistakes.

This is the vines, their words are short and childlike

This is Gwen's inner voice, one she can't keep hidden from the vines yet, its how she talks to them also.

This is Gwen speaking.

I figured the three color breakdown would be easier to read.

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Actually, that was a slip up on my part. Do you think I should edit, or leave it? I think I'm going to leave it. I have an idea for how he can back pedal if one of the other characters calls him on it. Could be good for comic relief.

Leave it, it's awesome!

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Just to be clear, I'm not implying Jeena has scars from like a suicide attempt or something; I just assume as a girl who grew up fighting in a resistance movement, she probably sustained a few cuts or burns over the years that didn't get the best medical treatment in the field. She's a war child, not a girl with borderline personality disorder. ;)

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