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Dr Archeville

[PSA Vignette] Fusion: "Don't Pollute!"

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Fusion sat at one end of the big conference table, flipping over the spec scripts that the TV station had provided for her. Joan Collier had ties to the media, even if she was a print girl at heart, and that meant she'd been able to win (through channels) a little more autonomy for her super-self than the typical superhero had in these situations. You've just got to know how to handle these situations, she thought pleasedly. And how to handle these people. "Okay, Terry, why don't you show me what else we've got?" She looked up at the bearded young executive who'd been sent to meet with her, and he smiled as he handed her the first storyboard.

"Okay, well, this first piece is from the government," he said blandly. "You mentioned an interest in wanting to do a PSA for kids, and this is one targeted directly at children today. New Jersey has long-established programs dealing with urban drug use and violence, but only recently have they started working with the problems of rural drug use and kids. I think you'll find this will more than meet what you were looking for.

The tentacled wonder flipped through the pages of the storyboard, then suddenly shot a daggered look at the young executive. "You want me to look into the camera, say 'Don't do Meth: Not even Once', and then cut to the DARE logo?" Terry started to protest and she fired off, "That's...I don't even know where to start with that one!" Her tentacles whipped around her irritably, and Terry stepped back. "Try something else."

It took several minutes before she found what she wanted, and there were several more false starts on the way. She opted out of telling teenagers to get tested for STDs before it was too late on the grounds that it was sending the wrong message to use her, decided against encouraging people to practice safe sex (remembering how her daughter'd been conceived, that was right out), and agreed with Terry that the PSAs about drunk driving, staying in school, and others didn't match her at all. But this one, though..."Yes. Yes, this one is me."

--

SCENE: The Waterfront, by night. Two DRUNKEN TEENS carrying a sack of empty beer cans are headed for the docks.

DT #1: "This is a phat plan, yo! We'll drop the cans in the river and Moms'll never know we were drinkin'!"

DT #2: "Word, it's totally radical! But what about the river? Aren't we supposed to not pollute?"

DT #1: "Pfft! That's LAME! Why..."

SUDDENLY two giant tentacles come lashing out of the water and grab the TEENS by the ankles, pulling them off their feet and dragging them towards the water. Though they scream and flail, one clinging to the dock for long seconds, his fingernails cracking as he grabs onto the water, within seconds they're both about to go under when...

ENTER: The Mighty Fusion, leaping out of the water and dangling the two boys by the ankles, upside down in mid-air. She gives them a GLARE that gets them both looking at each other before rapidly blaming the other for the clever scheme.

FUSION: "Save it! Polluting the waters of our fair city is no joke, you two." Still carrying the boys, Fusion walks to the water and dangles them over the river. "This river feeds into the ocean! Your little cans could have choked turtles a thousand miles away, or left poisons in the water for a whole generation! Your kids could be drinking what you left behind, forever!"

DT #2: "Yikes! I don't want that!"

DT #1: "Spluh, that's for the FUTURE, lady! What bad stuff could ever happen to me?"

FUSION gives the kid an evil glare, bringing him very close to her face. "What could happen to you? What could happen to you? Have you ever seen an Atlantean warcannon up close and personal? Seen an air-barracuda swarm pick the flesh off a man's bone in ten seconds flat?"

DT #1 swallows guiltily: "Uh, no..." Still holding the teens, Fusion faces the camera directly and says:

"Atlantean attacks have tripled in the last ten years, and with global warming, scientists think even more ocean-dwellers could be planning to come to the surface to punish everyone who dwells on land. If you can't think of our world and of your children, think of your family, your city, and yourself."

KEEP ATLANTEAN SEA MONSTERS UNDERWATER WHERE THEY BELONG: DON'T POLLUTE

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