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Fisticuffs 2: Dynamo vs Jack of All Blades (IC)


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FIGHT 5

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It was time for the lightning round to commence. The up and coming speedster was set to take on his idol, who had actually been covertly keeping tabs on. Maybe Dynamo would join the Interceptors one day. But for now, Jack of All Blades and Dynamo would meet in the ring, a complete clash of characters was about to take place. Both liked to chew the scenery, but have vastly different methodologies. It was likely to be an intense fight.

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Dynamo took his place in the ring, running a few quick laps around the outside. Making a bit of a spectacle of himself, Dynamo ran towards the center of thering stopping dead, with a small amount of electricity arcing over his body. He knew Jack was tough, he had seen what he could do on the TV plenty of times, even the Meta Grue fell against him (with some help). But right now, showing off for the ladies was far more important. "C'mon there senior, we don't have all day homes!" mocked Dynamo in a terribly faked Latin accent.

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Displaying a pointedly relaxed demeanor, thumbs hooked into his belt, Jack of all Blades sauntered casually up to the ring, nimbly lifting the ropes and stepping inside. "Here's a tip for after you hit puberty and get a girlfriend, Zippy," he called with a dazzling smirk and dramatically billowing greatcoat. "Sometimes it's better to... take your time." It was clear that the speedster was an arrogant showoff. Fortunately, Jack had written the book on being an arrogant showoff.

Producing his lighter from a jacket pocket, Jack leaned nonchalantly against a post and brought it to his mouth, cupping his hands as though lighting a cigarette. The flame glowed warmly from between his fingers as he took a few mock puffs before languidly rolling his forearm out toward Dynamo and the center of the ring. A lazy tongue of flame extended along the same arc, leaving the swashbuckler holding a fiery rapier en garde with one hand while the other remained at his hip, his posture conveying disinterest and disregard even as the infuriating look of smug superiority never left his face.

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Dynamo found Jack's antics genuinely funny. Truth be told, he had watched Jack's fight with Grimlakin and the Metagrue repeatedly; he was trying to get better at the stupid quips he had. It ain't a big part of heroing, but it kinda helped him get into character and do this every day. Truth be told, this hero stuff was scary at times, and to know that there was someone else out there that had been doing this, without much in the way of overt powers (Jack seemed to fight more on skill than oomph) made the world seem a safer and better place.

'Course Dynamo wasn't gonna let Jack know that, he still had to punch the guy in the face after all. "Guess I'm gonna have to get used to those puns now aren't I? Though you'll have to excuse me if I don't take lady advice from someone quite so flaming there broheem." Dynamo took a bit of a pause as he smiled and spread his arms wide, clearly impressed with his own banter chops. "But I'm gonna admit, that was a pretty cool trick. Wanna he mine?" Dynamo took a step forward as if he were about to sprint. "Don't blink."

And just like that, Dynamo was gone. The entire arena reeked of ozone, and horrific gale raged throughout the stands. Dynamo ran around the arena so fast it was damn near impossible to tell where he was coming from or where he was going to. Jack was assaulted by a whirlwind of punches and kicks any time Dynamo passed by Jack.

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Jack couldn't remember the last time he'd been taken genuinely off-guard, but Dynamo was just too fast. The obnoxious speedster disappeared into a blur and the swordsman's world was suddenly filled by attacks from every direction. A momentary lull in the assault left him crouched, supporting himself with one hand on his knee as he used the back of his sword hand to wipe a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "'Broheem'?" he asked, winded. "Dios, you're white."

As Dynamo streaked by to finish the job, however, Jack erupted in a flurry of movement, fiery rapier flashing about him. Just as the speedster had filled the air around him with punches, the swashbuckler ignited that same space with furious jabs.

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Dynamo circled the arena a few more times, continuing the banter with Jack of All Blades, "Dude you just noticed that now? You better hope your sword's sharper than your ey-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dynamo screamed like a little girl as he came within a hair's breadth of flaming lobotomy. The only thing that saved him was that he felt it get a lot hotter all of a sudden. Dynamo ran to the other side of the arena, and patted out the flames that had taken root on his chest, from a clean slash mark going right across his chest. Dynamo looked on at Jack with terror and astonishment in his eyes. "Dude! You hit me! You actually friggen hit me! Holy ****! Seriously man, do you know how fast I was going?! You timed that perfectly dude, that was some jedi-level stuff right there. It's totally like when you fought Grim attheboxingmatchitwassototallycoolthewayyouguys-" Dynamo starts talking faster and faster until he sounds completely like a chipmunk on crack. He runs through several of JoAB's more famous fights, acting out all the parts, but it looks and sounds like a terribly acted movie done in extreme fast forward.

After a few moments Dynamo calms down enough to say "Dude, point is, you're awesome, and I'm glad I got the chance to go toe to toe with ya. It means a lot to me, thanks." as he offers Jack a hand back to his feet.

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Jack blinked a few times as he reflexively accepted Dynamo's hand. He's like me if I were played by Zach Braff on designer drugs. Now there was a terrifying thought. "Heh, if this is how you treat your idols, I hate to see what you do to people you don't like," he drawled, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the ring absently. "Speed's a good trick. Fast is tough to work around, but you still gotta watch out for quick, y'know?" The swordsman cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders stiffly as he released his flicker blade and worked his jaw back and forth. "Man, that smarts. Banter needs work, more than anything."

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"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. ...OK, yeah it was, but if I didn't go all out there I wouldn't have gotten to see the jedi stuff. Y'all woulda still done it, I just wouldn't a been able ta see it up until my new nickname was Stumpy." Dynamo chuckled at his own joke as he walked with Jack over to the seats. "I wanted ta see what you're like at your best, and I don't think ya woulda gone all out against someone who said you could walk on water there bro, ain't nobody in this business that cold." Dynamo pulled out a bag he had brought with him and stashed in the stands, inside was a rather large assortment of food, most of it obnoxiously sugary and/or fatty. Dynamo opened a bag of chocolate chips and started going to town on them "Go on and help yourself there Jack, I got a meatball parm in there somewhere if you interested. So what'd you'd think of the banter? I been watching some a your fights up on the youtubes trying to take notes on the banter, but if you got advice, I'm all ears broheem."

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Jack rubbed his eyes, doing his best to be patient as he declined the proffered snacks. "Okay, first? You really can't pull off 'broheem'." The swashbuckler nodded to one side thoughtfully, adding, "To be fair, I'm not sure anybody can, really, but coming from Mr. Middle-Class White America? Seriously, I'm getting a rage-headache, here." Leaning against one of the ring's poles nonchalantly, Jack did his best to play off how much he needed its support as he recovered from the brief fight. The swordsman crossed his arms and kept his voice low enough that in didn't travel to the stands; disparaging Dynamo in front on an audience certainly wasn't going to help anyone. "Don't get me wrong, you've got the right idea. Getting your opponent riled up can give you a serious edge if you keep cool yourself. But you've gotta have standards. Nothing cheeses a villain off more than having the moral high ground thrown in their face." He gave the slightly younger man a flat look. "C'mon, that 'flaming' crack? You'd think a speedster in this city would have a little more class than that. Same goes for the quote-unquote ethnic humour. You're a superhero, not a shock jock."

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Jack could practically hear the gears grind to a halt in Dynamo's head as is smile faltered. His jaw went slack, and his eyes widened as Jack's words began to sink in. Jack was right, Dynamo was a super hero, or at least he was supposed to be. But when he but on the costume, he hadn't changed himself. He was still the college kid hanging out at a kegger with all of his stupid friends telling crass jokes. He didn't have that luxury anymore. He had to be held to a higher standard. The energy seemingly withered up in Dynamo as collapsed into one of the arena seats, letting out a long sigh. He stared at the ground for a few moments, head in his hands. Sitting back up, he looks down at the exclamation point on his chest. "Did ya know that this doesn't mean anything? I just threw it on there to stand out. I wanted to be different. I wanted to break out. I never considered if what I was doing was right. A whole new world was opened to me, and I just dived in head first, without considering anything. Kinda stupid huh?"

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Jack walked stiffly over the sit next to Dynamo. "Hey, Zippy, we fight guys who shoot lasers out their ears for fun. 'Stupid' is kinda a prerequisite." He indicated the symbol on the speedster's chest. "So make it mean something. You've got a chance to stand for something, right? And yes, that's a totally insane amount of responsibility to throw at someone. Welcome to it." Giving Dynamo a smirk, Jack shrugged. "You already decided to help people with your powers instead of being some bank robbing spaz or something, so, y'know, off to a good start."

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Dynamo let out a weak chuckle. "Yeah, I'm not a complete degenerate, go me." replied Dynamo with some mild sarcasm. "So now first thing I got to do is make sure people don't make me out to be some kind of racist homophobe. Meaning I got to watch what I say. Either that or kick the crap out of White Knight or have a photo-op with Al Sharpton once a week. This is gonna suck. Do you have any idea how many time I've caught myself before saying: dude, bro, broheem or anything like that. Blarg. They make this crap look easy in the movies."

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Jack placed his hand behind his head and lounged in the seat. "Ha, I think you're safe with 'dude' and 'bro'. Look, don't over think it too much; it's not like you're being censored or anything." The swashbuckler scratched hi chin and considered. "General rule of thumb? Stick to insulting your opponent, not a whole group, y'know? Ugly face, stupid plan, ridiculous costume - you're going to get a lot of millage out of that one - goofy codename, lame powers." He gave the speedster a sidelong glance. "You've got like... accelerated perception or whatever, yeah? Just use some of that extra time to think twice."

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Dynamo chuckled a bit, some of the weight that had settled on his shoulders began falling off. "And improved eyesight, and this..." Added Dynamo as a torrent of lightning began to arc between his hands. "I'll keep your advice in mind. But I really don't like slowing things down like that. It's really hard to speak at a normal speed, when I'm going at full tilt on the inside. It feels.... I don't know... lonely. Watching everyone else slow down and then stop, being aware of the sound fading out. When I run, I can just put my brain on auto pilot, if I use it to think practically, I'm aware of all the time that passes. Guess I just gotta get better at thinking on my feet huh?"

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"Instead of letting your feet do the thinking for you, huh?" Jack laughed openly. Giving Dynamo a more serious look, he continued, "Tell you what, as long as I'm doing the Miyagi thing, here's your homework: figure out why you're doing this." The swashbuckler raise a forestalling hand. "I know you think you don't have a reason, but human beings don't spit in the face of millennia of self preservation instincts 'just 'cause'. It doesn't have to be specific or complicated, but it's there." Jack shrugged. "You figure that out, the rest'll get a lot easier."

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"Basically yeah." Dynamo pauses for a moment. "I thought I did have a reason. After I got my powers, I just dicked around to be perectly blunt. I mean, how could I not? Pluck any dude off the street and give them immense power, first thing outa their yap is gonna be something along the lines of "WEEEEEEEE". Srsly. But then I was sitting class in one day, suffering through another boring lecture, when I noticed a girl jump off a roof, trying to end her life. I saved her before anyone even noticed I moved, and she's turned her life around since. I knew then that my destiny just got bigger bro. I couldn't spend life on the sidelines, I had to do something. I tried to make being a super hero that something."

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Jack gave Dynamo a light smile. "Sounds about right. You ask anybody here, their 'secret origin story' will probably boil down to guns, guilt or a girl." He paused thoughtfully before adding "Possibly geckos, in specific cases." He spread his hands in a shrug. "So think about it like this: what would you do or say if you knew that girl you saved was watching?" The swordsman sighed and looked at his hands. "It's... not foolproof. Sometimes you're going to say something stupid and regret it. Law of averages, see? Even if only one percent of what you say is a mistake, well, number one hundred is going to come around more often than you like."

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"Well you got to remember, we're all a bunch of stupid college kids. Not really a lot of sophisticated conversations going on there broheem. Hell, half our day is spent ragging on one another, and we ain't even being nice. Summer couldn't a come any quicker. Anyways, gettin all off topic here. Maybe I should pretend I'm talking to like the dean and **** then I'll speak all flowery like. But then I'll sound like a tool." added Dynamo with a shrug. "I get what you're saying though dude. Ya win some, ya lose some; you'd know about that huh?" cackled Dynamo. "I'm jest messin' with ya, I'm jest messin' with ya."

Good news: Dynamo's back to normal, Bad news: Dynamo's back to normal.

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Jack's customary smirk returned as he shook his head. "Honestly, kids these days. No idea how to act around a lady." Dynamo came off as a little obnoxious at first, but he grew on a person after a little while. Jack had a sneaking suspicion that he'd just gotten some insight into how others viewed him. He carefully rolled his left shoulder, putting pressure on it with the opposite hand. "Out of curiosity, just how many times did you hit me, anyway? 'Cause ow."

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"Uhhhhh..." Dynamo hesitated for a moment. "I think right around 87 good hits, about 30 more that were glancing. Uhh... sorry." Dynamo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I ain't much of a fighter, I got to make it up in volume." explained Dynamoas he got into a fighting stance, which now that he wasn't running anywhere was so completely full of holes it wasn't even funny. Compared to Joe Someguy off the street, he was a better fighter, but only just. His speed was the only thing that made him dangerous. "I was gonna try to zap fry you with lightning, but I saw you pull a bunch a weird crap with energy and junk before on the youtubes; I didn't want to give you more ammo."

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"Hrmm, good call," Jack replied distractedly, looking over Dynamo's form. "Okay, no. Just... argh, that's terrible. Damn, now I'm all embarrassed that you managed to hit me at all." The swordsman shook his head in despair. "Yeesh. Do me a favour, take some self defense classes or something, for the sake of my reputation, if nothing else." Jack mused that if Dynamo could actually make each of his dozens of strikes count, he would be a true force to reckon with.

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"Hey, don't think of me as being a guy who has no idea how to fight; think of me as the guy with the fastest punch going. See? Suddenly it don't seem so bad, right?" said Dynamo with a half convinced smile. He wasn't sure if this was helping or just pouring salt in the wounds. "Like, here, lemme show ya." said Dynamo as he dashed out the east side of the arena. A few seconds later he came back into the arena from the west side. "That right there was a lap. The biggest lap you can take brosef. But, I took some basic self defense classes, but they weren't much help. I mean, can you honestly say you know of any fighting style that can be used at full sprint?"

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Jack opened his mouth to reply, then closed it and furrowed his brow. "Huh." The swordsman scratched his chin thoughtfully. "That's... actually a good point." Lacing his fingers behind his head, he looked up at the ceiling. "Well, there's gotta be somebody who's worked something out. It's not like you're the first guy with super speed, right? Practicing lunges or something at least."

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Dynamo chuckled at the fact that Jack seemed stunned that Dynamo actually knew something. "Hey, remember when I said I don't like slowing time down? Yeah, figuring out how to take down some super villains and avoiding getting my butt handed to me on a silver platter is something I can dedicate an afternoon to mulling over there Jack. I'm not complete idiot, some of the time anways. It's the thousand monkeys with a thousand typewriters scenario, I'll stumble on a good idea eventually. Lunges don't really work neither. You lunge, and then you recover; there's no lunge and then keep going maneuver. Guess I'll have to talk to Rocket at some point."

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Jack shrugged. "Okay, but at the speed you go, how long would recovering from a lunge seriously take?" The swordsman took on a vague imitation of an en guarde pose. "Granted, I've got my biases." Relaxing back into his seat, Jack gave Dynamo a sidelong look. "That said, if you go talk to Rocket? Do me a favour, leave the 'flaming' cracks at home, huh? Man's a freaking national hero." He pointed a warning finger at the speedster before placing his hands back behind his head.

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