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Dr Archeville

[April 2010 Vignette] April Frags!

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Claremont Academy, 1st April 2010. Some point in the morning.

Chris awoke with a start and glanced at his clock. 1st April. "Woah!" He leapt over and started shaking his roommate. "Eddie! April Fool's Day! Get up!"

"I swear to god, Chris." Eddie groaned, reluctantly pulling the sheets up over his head. "If it's like 4am or something, there are going to be murders." The early mornings were one of the few times when Eddie wasn't incredibly personable.

"Nah, only 6am! We need to pull pranks to keep true to April Fool's Day!" pronounced Chris with a happy grin. "C'moooon, we need to irritate Mike!"

Eddie peeked out from under the covers to see a ray of sunlight shining in between their shades. "Fiiiiine." Eddie threw the covers off of him and sat up rubbing his eyes. "But if it were for any one else, I totally would have said no." Eddie swung his legs over the side of the bed, and gave Chris a mischievous look. "So... What did you have in mind?"

Chris reached down to a yellow utility belt and picked it up. He then pulled a hand grenade from one of the pockets. "We blow up his toilet... while he's on it."

"Chris!" Eddie cried out, "Where the hell did you get that hand grenade?!" He quickly shook his head and held up his hand. "Wait...wait...For a second there, I thought I heard you say you were going to blow up Mike's toilet while he was on it."

"Let's not focus on the grenade. Let's focus on the blowing up the toilet," said Chris, casually spinning the explosive device by the pin. "It's not like it'll injure him. And Mark won't be in the room at the time."

"I love it." Eddie said, grinning broadly. He threw the sheets off of himself and hopped out of bed. "When do we start?" he asked. Eddie grabbed the pair of jeans that was hanging over his desk chair. He pulled them on over the boxers he'd worn to bed last night. "I can shower after we prank him. This needs to happen. Now." He was hopping on one leg as he said this, trying to get his other foot through his pants in a hurry.

"You get dressed, I'll fit the motion sensor. Then you 'port us in, I quickly rig it so the first person to sit on it detonates it, then we make our escape!" Chris somehow produced some wires and diodes from his belt, and raising them triumphantly.

"That'll work." Eddie said, muffled by the t-shirt he was pulling over his head. He quickly spread some deodorant on, tightened his belt, and found a new shirt. Pulling the green "Dispatch" t-shirt from in between the rungs of his bed, he smelled it, shrugged, and pulled it over his head. After smoothing out the wrinkles, he turned to Chris. "Ready when you are."

Chris finished tweaking some wires on the grenade, now encrusted in an assortment of glowy lights and sensors. "Ok, Operation: Exploding Poop is a-go-go. Music Man, get us to the objective!"

"Right away, Explosives Man." Eddie quickly scooped an iPod off of his desk. While he was throwing the headphones around his neck, he turned the dial with his other hand. "This should do the trick," He said, selecting the song. "Mike's bathroom, here we come!" He laid a hand on Chris' shoulder and the two teens disappeared from their dorm room.

Appearing in Mike and Mark's tiny bathroom, Chris quickly went to work wiring the device up in the toilet bowl, tucked in the pipes so it couldn't be seen from above. "Ok, evacuate. The toilet is now rigged," he whispered.

"Awesomesauce." Eddie replied, quietly. He looked over Chris' shoulder and glimpsed his handiwork. "Nice job," He whispered. "Now let's get out of here." He laid his hand on Chris' shoulder again. Vanishing, it was like the two teens were never there.


"So..." asked Chris. "How long do we need to wait for him to-" There came a deafening explosion from a few rooms away. "Hells yes!"

"Prank successful!" Eddie cheered. With a big smile on his face, he high fived Chris. "Man, what I wouldn't give to have seen the look on his face!"

Chris laughed along before realisation slowly dawned and he abruptly stopped. "Mike can see through walls." He burst into a sprint towards the stairs. "Run!"

"Crap!" Eddie cried out, "You're right!" Eddie made a dash for the door, as he scrambled, he grabbed Chris and pulled him backwards, trying to get to the door first. "Damn it, Chris! Why do I let you talk me into these things?"

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