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Furry Fracas - The God, The Baaad and The Nutty IC


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A sudden wind kicked up in the middle of Liberty Park, followed the crackle of building energies and a blinding, blue-white flash. An oddly anticlimactic *blink* deposited a group of seven figures onto the jogging path, to the surprise of the locals.

A furry creature wearing a long blue coat and a red bandana mask stepped forward to look around, smoothing a pair of long ears around the antlers which protruded from the top of his head as he did so. "An entire world of ladies who've never known the joys of Jackalope of all Blades?" the leporid fellow observed. "That’s positively criminal!".

"You realize they’re not even your species, right?" asked one of his companions, brown and black furred with a canine muzzle and leather jacket.

Jackalope grinned, revealing prominent buckteeth. "Lambkos, m’man, when has that ever stopped me?"

A dainty clearing of the throat drew attention to the toga-clad white cat calmly adjusting her porcelain mask. [divine]"Does everyone have the homing devices Doktor Architeuthis gave us? We should be getting a reading now that we’re here,"[/divine] instructed Feline, examining her immaculate claws.

"Wha-ha-ha! I’m getting a reading, alright!" cried a squirrel in a eye-searingly bright orange and and blue suit, bouncing up and down energetically. "In my pants!". A prominent bulge appeared in the front of his slacks; reaching inside he retrieved a wooden dowsing rod which jerked back and forth, pulling him along with it. "It’s a bigg’un, you betcha!"

"Enough, Jestnut!" a gravely voice insisted. Concealed in the shade of a nearby tree, Avengemouse wrapped his leathery wings around himself and narrowed his eyes. "This world is no place for your foolishness. It’s dark, gritty, realistic." He paused briefly for effect. "My kind of world.".

A loud snort came from the towering, equine figure hovering in the air nearby. "Oh, lighten up, bat boy," admonished Foalcrum, the cape rumour said that she’d inherited from the Centaurian himself flapping behind her.

"It’s just a costume," came the reflexive response, eliciting a chorus of half-hearted placating agreement.

"Regardless, we should get going," Foalcrum continued. "People are starting to stare."

Flying beside her, Calico Angel flapped her broad, feathered wings and stretched in the sunlight, patchwork fur rippling. "Some of us are used to stares, dear," she remarked smugly.

Before the horse-headed heroine could respond, small devices each of them carried began to beep, a round screen indicating direction. "Gotta go go go!" cried Jestnut, bouncing off on a bushy tail which had suddenly acquired spring-like qualities.

"Try to keep him under control," Foalcrum called to Lambkos as she and Avengemouse flew off in the opposite direction.

The wolf gave the departing paragon a doubtful look as he started off after the squirrel. "I’ll do what I can... Although I think a panzer division would have a tough time keeping Jestnut ‘under control’."

Feline slipped in next to him as they continued to walk. [divine]"Don’t worry, honey, controlling men is what I do best,"[/divine] she purred coyly.

"Guess that just leaves you and me, wings!" Jackalope called up to Calico Angel.

The lithe shorthair rolled her eyes as she flapped off. "Being part succubus doesn’t mean I don’t have some standards, antlers-for-brains."

Hopping hurriedly after her, the rabbit spread his arms pleadingly. "Aw, c’mon! You’re breaking my heart, here!" Within moments, the odd group had dispersed, leaving Liberty Park’s local visitors wondering if it was going to be another one of those days in Freedom City.

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Lambkos gave the tracking device a disdainful look, before shoving it into the breast pocket of his leather jacket. "Let's get down to the ba-aa-asics, here." Lambkos quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, shutting himself up. After glancing to either side and hoping that no one had heard his slip, he removed the hand. "I don't need that squid's funny toys. I can find the man myself." Lambkos dropped down onto all fours, gave a quick sniff or two at the ground, and then leapt off, bounding towards the unmistakable scent of Human and Wolf musk combined. Skin and Fur was an easy combination to locate. Pausing to ensure his companions were following, he allowed himself one final indulgement before the mission began.


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Feline smiled sharply at the giant horn gag. Though she couldn't pull out a pair of earmuffs. This weird world was mean as Avengemouse noted. Though if it meant meeting someone who was herself, she'd gladly go through the harshness. "[divine]Now now, Jesty,[/divine]" she purred, lightly scratching under the squirrel's chin, "[divine]You've got to contain yourself. You wouldn't want to blow your excitement in one place and have none for later, would you?[/divine]" She flounced after Lambkos calling back to the squirrel, "[divine]Don't fall behind![/divine]"

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Jestnut shuddered as you could see a wave of his fur stand up on end, all the way down to the very tip of his tail. His form mushed into that of an ACME rocket, and he blasts off high into the sky. He explodes high up in the sky like a fireworks display, sending up pink cupid's arrows and hearts across the sky. He crashes back down to earth and squishes flat before popping back to normal. "Sorry, that never happens to me. Really, I'm a tough nut to crack, I swear."

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Lambkos looked on with a disapproving frown. Once the fireworks display had run its course he spoke quietly. "If you two are finished giving away our position, I think it's high time we get moving. Wouldn't want to be the last ones to ba-aa-ag our quarry." Lambkos again looked like he'd swallow a bug when a little of the lamb in him slipped out through his speech patterns.

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"[divine]I'm sure you are tough,[/divine]" Feline grinned and winked, "[divine]You'll have to show me that rocket trick later.[/divine]" While Lambkos barked on, she put her hands on her hips and listened. After he was finished, she shrugged, "[divine]Sure find the humans, save the world. But couldn't they have a little fun while doing it?[/divine]" She softly ran her hand through the wolf's mane, "[divine]Don't let this mean world get to you! Do you want to end up like Avengemouse? Do you?! If we don't keep our livelihood, then what? We're grumpy and unfun. And who wants to be unfun?[/divine]" She stopped petting him, "[divine]Now lead on oh fun leader![/divine]"

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At Feline's graceful touch, Lambkos quickly turned his head towards her hand, attempting to make it easier to reach some of his more hard-to-pet spots.

She softly ran her hand through the wolf's mane, "[divine]Don't let this mean world get to you! Do you want to end up like Avengemouse? Do you?! If we don't keep our livelihood, then what? We're grumpy and unfun. And who wants to be unfun?[/divine]"

"Hmm that wold be terrible." Lambkos' voice was a good deal more pleasant sounding. The petting was cheering him up. To a wolf, even a simple touch from a friend could be more reassuring than words.

"[divine]Now lead on oh fun leader![/divine]"

"As you wish!" Lambkos hit the ground with all fours, gave a few quick sniffs, and bounded off towards the edge of the park and the city beyond.

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As Lambkos wanders off, Jestnut nudges Feline in the side, and points at a sign on the road "All dogs must be kept on a leash." "I think we found a way to keep things fun." he mutters quietly "How about you?" with a chuckle he adds "Oooohhhh. Even better, we find the other him so we can walk a pack of dogs. Heheheheheehahaha." Jester jabs a thumb into his mouth and blows, his head swelling like a balloon and he floats off into the air, pulling out a pair of giant binoculars to help scan the area.

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Feline looked around the empty park. The wolf was searching by scent. The squirrel was looking around by air. What was a poor kitty cat to do? If this were her world she could just drop a handkerchief and four or five cats would be there to pick it up before it hit the ground. Or she could just whistle and the same would happen! Though now she was in the drab world. Everything was colored so darkly.

There had to be someone around here. She had an idea! Though she would need Jestnut. Before he could get out of arms reach, she grabbed hum by the pants and pulled him down. So the could meet face to face, nose to nose. She put on her best pouty voice, "[divine]I need an eeny teeny favor from you, Nutsy. Maybe you can reach in those pants of yours and pull out something that would get some people here? I'm not a tracker, but I know how to talk to people. You know that, doncha?[/divine]"

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Jestnut squeezes both sides of his head to deflate it. He scratches his chin for a moment thinking. "Oh! I got just the thing." Jestnut digs around for a moment before he pulls out a fire hose. He connects it to a nearby fire hydrant in record time before turning it on and dousing Feline with gallons of water. He then pulls out a preposterously large sign which reads "FAN SERVICE HERE" with an arrow pointing down. "Oh and you'll need this too." he says holding out a stick. "Unless you prefer to use your hands."

Truly this squirrel was the work of the devil.

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Lambkos suddenly stopped sniffing around the area and looked up abruptly. "Guys. I found someth-" He stopped short. His eyes had caught sight of the now soaked Feline. He dropped back into a dog-like sitting position, and pounded the ground with one of what would be his hind legs. "AWWWwooooooo-aa-aa-aa!" Shaking his head violently, his eyes remained locked on the doused Feline. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and he began panting.

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"[divine]Well, that was fun,[/divine]" Feline chuckled and took the stick, trying not to lose her cool while being wet. Moving her sopping hair out of her eyes, she winked and blew a kiss at Lambkos for his show of admiration. She motioned for both of her partners to avert their eyes before taking off her toga and wringing it out. She then shook the excess water off the rest of her body like cats do. "[divine]There, all dry now,[/divine]" she said slipping her toga back on.

"[divine]What,[/divine]" Feline said exasperatedly, "[divine]There are no people around? Hm, if that didn't have them running then nothing will.[/divine]" She leaned on Lambkos's chest, rubbing her back against it with a smile. "[divine]So, big bad, you say you... found something?[/divine]"

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"That's right." Lambkos replied. He smiled, and warmed at the touch, leaning in closer. This was the type of physical contact that the wolf in him craved. Surprisingly, for the first time since their arrival in this world, the ewe in him began to realize what was going on.

"It seems my counterpart passed this way recently." He leaned in close and looked into Feline's eyes. He breathed deeply taking in her scent. "Yours as well." Then his nose wrinkled and he turned his head towards Jestnut, "His too unfortunately."

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"You mean we're actually doing something right!? This world is weirder than I thought!" said Jestnut looking genuinely afraid. He abandons... whatever the heck it was he was doing a moment ago... and managed to squeeze his way between Feline and Lambkos faster than you could say "3rd wheel". His eyes darted back and forth scanning the surrounding era, almost as if he was afraid physics was going to pop out from around a corner and command him to fall when he ran off the edge of a cliff. "Lead the wa - aa - ay."

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Lambkos huffed. It was almost a snort or bleat. He quickly pulled away from Feline and Jestnut. Turning he faced the street. "Look here. They must have come up this street," Lambkos pointed along the road. "Then turned down that one. I'm not sure what they were after, though. There are way too many new smells here to pick out a likely quarry, as I assume my other self was following something." He looked over his shoulder at the two other toons. "Shall we give chase?"

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Feline looked at her tracking device and scratched her head. Nothing so far. Maybe Lambkos was on to something. She would keep it just in case wolf-boy got mixed up. Stuffing the electronic device under the top of her toga. She rubbed the small of Lambkos's back and looked in the direction he was looking. "[divine]So, where to now?[/divine]"

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Feline sighed and smiled, "[divine]What a perfectly good waste of a ball of yarn.[/divine]" She wasn't going to admit it, but that ball of yarn set off the happy factor in her head. If wolf-boy didn't go after it she would of tackled it herself. She turned to Jestnut and shook her head, grabbing the squirrel by the side and then pulling him closer to her. She talked through her teeth while smiling, "[divine]We almost were about to go hunting. Do you realize there are doubles out there of us? One you? One him? One ME?[/divine]" She pointed each of them out as she mentioned them. "[divine]Do you know how awesome it would be to have your own clone? We save the day and then we get clones. Let that sink in: We. Get. Clones. Now pull something out that'll make kitty-wolf pay attention![/divine]"

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Jestnut reaches into his jacket pocket pulling out a tiny wind up car. "Remember, it's not the size that matters its how you use it." He wound the crank a few times and set the car on the ground where it expanded into a rather garrish looking full sized car. Jestnut hops in, rolling down the window and throwing open the passenger side window. The locator device is on the dash board of the car. "If there's one thing a mutt knows how to do, it's chase a car. Hop in!"

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Feline laughed heartily, "[divine]This should be interesting![/divine]" She deftly leaped through the open car window. "[divine]Buckle up,[/divine]" she said under her breath, "[divine]This could be a bumpy ride.[/divine]" She nodded with a sharp smile to Jestnut while putting on a pair of shades. "[divine]It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.[/divine]"

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"Hit it!" Lambkos finished the quote as he swung on to the back of the car, clinging to it in a crouched position as it sped along the road. "Go straight about two blocks then make a left. They should be somewhere in that direction," He pointed with his left hand while digging his claws into the car with his right.

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Jestnut was a terrible driver, though it did improve drastically when he raised the seat up so he could see over the steering wheel. But it didn't really seam to matter, stuff moved out of the way of its own accord. You were also pretty sure the car was by no means a functioning car. It seemed only make the necessary parts as Jestnut realized that should be there. The speedometer for instance listed "Stop" "Slow" "Fast" and "Whoosh!" There were button all over the dash, none of which were labeled, and unless your eyes deceived you, none of them stayed in the same place for long.

After making a sharp turn, Jestnut started scanning the area. "Anyone see anything?" "Ohhh! Look over there!" said a voice from the back of the car. There sat a man, crouching on the back seat, wearing a straight jacket, baggy black pants, and nothing else. He pointed dramatically at a passing pet store, his clownish face screwed up in a giant smile. "The savages!" Jestnut and Jester cackled madly in unison as the car caught air over a hill, venturing off into the unknown.

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The very familiar scent of the musky skin-and-fur combination that was present on all Lycanthropes possessed wafted over Lambkos' sense. "Stop the car!" He was close by. Lambkos could smell him.

From a nearby alleyway, Lukos watched the car. He smiled in spite of himself. It reminded him of the old cartoons he would watch as a child. Only after his initial observations did he realize that whatever this thing was probably did not belong in their world. That's when he smelled it. It was similar to the Lycanthrope musk, but different. It wasn't so much a skin-and-fur smell, as a fur-and-wool smell. But nonetheless it was unmistakable. It was some kind of lycanthrope. Of that he was sure. He just didn't know what type.

When the car came closer and screeched to a halt, he saw what was riding on the back of it. "Good lord."

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