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Life's Bazaar (IC)


Sandman XI

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It looked like the old man was going to be alright, but Grim steadied him anyway; at least it was something concrete she could do to help. The whole situation was pretty unnerving, including the creepy clown that had shown up with them; the young shapeshifter didn't have a full-on clown phobia or anything, but his whole look and attitude still freaked her out.

"Ya reckon they got shoes'n Northumbria, Doc?

"Honey, I could make you shoes, but then we'd have to go with a just a robe or something to cover the rest of ya." She looked around uncertainly at the crude structures that surrounded them. "Which actually might not be a problem around here..." :?

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Jack was momentarily distracted from his examination by Colt's clothing dilemma. "Heh. 'Magic pants'," he grinned to himself. For some reason he found the idea hilarious. The swordsman leaned over the edge of the alley to call down to his teammates. "Hey, if you're gonna grab some kit off of Larry and Moe down there, grab Curly's sword for me while you're at it, huh?" He gestured vaguely about their surroundings with the rapier he'd constructed from their mysterious femme fatale's teleportation spell. "Not sure how easy it's gonna be to pick up a recharge around here if I have to drop my energy again."

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Archeville did a double-take at Jester,

Gah! I'm surrounded by fools and madmen!

Oh, they are not all that bad. Jack certainly has a heroic heart, and Dark Star-

Don't remind me!

"Narnia is a fictional place," he began, "but Saint Cuthbert of Lindisfarne vas a real person, from Northumbria, a kingdom dat encompassed vhat ve vould know as northeast England und southeast Scotland. He lived in de 7th century A.D., und vas known for his charm, generosity to de poor, und miraculous healings. He vas also very protective of de people of Durham, a semi-autonomous region in north east England, and of ducks."

"Dis raises further qvestions, dough," he continued, now completely unfocused on the injured old man, "assuming ve vere thrown to de past, how are ve able to understand dese people? De English language as ve know it did not exist back in de Medieval period. Und if dis is some parallel vorld, vhy vould language remain current mit ours but everyding else seem so outdated?"

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Dark Star hovered above watching, doing his best to ignore the odder antics below. The others seemed to have things well in hand. But that woman... He shook his head a little. He really didn't understand magic. But he understood about missing children.

"She's gone. But we'll need to find her and soon. She mentioned something about taking children. Who was she and where do we find her?" That was mostly directed to the gentleman they had rescued but he'd be happy if any of his new companions had the information.

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"Ho diz iz mosht unfortunate." says Jester. He has adorned a full quack doctor get up, complete with over sized coke bottle glasses, crazy(er) hair do and lab coat. "It appears dot our goot Doctor friend here iz sufferink from some keend uf delusion. He seems to believe dot de vorld iz a logical place, soch a silly man. In odder news: Hy hef a shark in my pants."

Without further ado, Jester pulls a very much alive 15 ft great white shark out of his pants. Without missing a beat, he paints a black hole on the wall, using an extra set of arms he just so happens to have now, and then throws the shark through the hole before painting over it again, making it mesh with the rest of the alley walls. The shark problem averted, he turns to Doctor Archeville. "The next time hyu try und chew de scenery Doctor, Hy recommend hyu find out how exactly has de biggesht teeth yah?" After reverting back to normal, he asks the assembled heroes "Who votes Narnia now?"

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The robed man looks to Doctor Archeville slightly quizzical. "No sir, you happen to be in Cauldron." He sighs, "those thugs were attacking me for bringing a little bit of joy into the children at the orphanage. We at the temple are keeping a close eye and watching over the children in these stressful times." He pauses and smiles, "Forgive my rudeness, I should introduce myself. I am Ruphus Laro." He rubs his face a bit to get the rain off of it. He is taken aback at Jester's mad cackling and smiles nervously, "Well thank you for interrupting when you did. Else the joke would have been very grave." Rufus listens to the doctor's line of thinking seeing if he could help him along, but nothing rang a bell. Before he can say such, Dark Star takes his attention. "I do not know who she is, but I know where she's from." Ruphus looks around, checking if anyone but the people that saved him are around. When he sees everything is in order he speaks in a hushed tone, "The Last Laugh. A thieves guild. It seems someone does not want the church involved in the investigation of the four missing children." Ruphus shivers a bit and puts a hood over his head to avoid the now more pronounced rain. "If you would escort me to the temple, I would be grateful. I don't know if there are anymore thugs lurking. I'm sure it's safer talking there than it is here."

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Dark Star decided it was be best to just ignore the ...odd fellow. For many, many reason. Instead he focused the man they had rescued. "Mr. Laro, perhaps you could tell us about these missing children? And where exactly is this 'Last Laugh'? We'll happily escort you to somewhere safe of course. But I would like to know what is going on with this situation." This might not be his world or time or whatever; he'd leave that up to the Doctor to figure out. Regardless, no one was going to threaten or harm a child while he was around. He wasn't leaving this world until this was resolved.

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"I reckon a nice roof over our heads might do the trick. Least ways it'll get us outta this here rain." Colt began looking at the crumpled bodies of the thugs they had knocked out to see if there was anything useful there. He took clubs and swords and any extra articles of clothing they had. He wouldn't strip them bare, but but he would relieve them of their extra trappings.

"At any rate, we need ta git outta this here weather. It ain't good fer the health."

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"You haven't heard about the kidnappings," Ruphus asks with a bit of shock, "You're not from around here are you? Hm, I will fill you in on what I can." He sighs, "To begin with: The Last Laugh is something talked about in whispers. They are a 'guild' in the least sense. More like a pack of well organized worgs. Though no one knows about the Last Laugh except for the Last Laugh." He points down to the two on the ground, "You'd probably get better information from them. The children on the other hand, are another story. A few nights ago four children were taken from the Lantern Street Orphanage. I don't know very much as I am not an investigator, I just watch over the children." Something apparently pops into his head, he smiles, "I may not know much about it, but I can take you to someone who is heading the investigation. Our head priestess."

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A few moments later, Colt was decked out in a full suit of leather armor he had taken from one of the knocked out thugs. A longsword hung by his hip.

"Here," Colt addressed the man, "I reckon y'all c'n make better use'a this'n I c'n." Colt tossed a bag full of coins to the man. "Now where's that priestess at?"

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Dark Star nodded thoughfully. He reached down and scooped up the unconscious figures with a telekinetic grip. "I'll ask them when they wake up I suppose. Though if any of you have any telepathic gifts, that would make this quicker before we need to drop them with the proper authorities." He wasn't going to just leave them in the alley after all.

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Deciding that there wasn't much more he could do on the rooftop, Jack nimbly hopped back down into the alley, his acrobatics making the drop seem but a trifle. "'Not from around here,' he says. Don't miss a trick, huh, padre?" he drawled. Reflecting on the archaic cut of his coat and mask, the swashbuckler rubbed his chin with his free hand. "Alright, so maybe I blend a bit." A wolfish grin spread across Jack's face as his considered Colt's newly acquired outfit and Grim's glamoured costume. "So the only ones who really know about this guild are the members, huh? Think they're hiring?"

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"Ooohhh, a bit of under cover work eh? Better consult your teammates then, I hear they do their best work under the covers." Jester tilts his head bac, giving a joyful laugh that rings through the alleyway. "But would do it, surely a group of our number would attract too much attention. Sowe must ask ourselves, who among us can think like these hateful harlequins.? Who can talk like these lethal laughing men? And most important of all, who looks like these fashionable funny guys? My friends, the answer is clear. I give you: Captain Glow Stick and his young ward, No Pants Kid!" says Jester as he points at Dark Star and Colt respectively before giving them a rousing round of applause, having sprouted a dozen arms for just such a purpose.

"Or I guess would could be boring and do what the old guy says; whatev's." he adds with a shrug.

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Sighing at Jester's antics, Jack ran a hand across his face, partly to hide the corner of his mouth, which was threatening to twitch up in a grin. Heh, Captain Glow Stick and No Pants Kid... S'pretty funny. Outwardly, however, he gave the sanity-challenged clown a flat look and turned to the others. "Well, I think we can assume whatever brought us here was random selection. I can't imagine anyone choosing to recruit Jester on purpose." He shrugged in surrender. "Except maybe the giggle gang. We're flying blind here; we could use the intel."

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"Ooohhh, a bit of under cover work eh? Better consult your teammates then, I hear they do their best work under the covers."

Grim frowns at the clown's implications and wags an angry finger under his pale white nose. "Hey, that's...largely true, but still!" It occured to her that having herself, Jester and Jack on the same 'field trip' would probably lead to a lot of frayed nerves.

How many wiseacres can people stand before they go ballistic?

"Except maybe the giggle gang. We're flying blind here; we could use the intel."

The shapeshifter held up her hand like a kid at school. "Ooh, I can do intel! Infiltrate, spy, snoop, undermine, you name it!"

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Ruphus catches the coin pouch and weighs it. He doesn't know where these thugs got the money, but a donation to the church would see it in better hands than these thugs. "We will meet with the Headmistress when we get to the temple," he nods graciously to Colt and puts the coin pouch in his robe. Ruphus gasps at the suggestion that Jack is asking but is relieved to find out to work undercover. "I do not know how to get in contact with them, then again I do not go around sticking my hands in snake pits either!" He sighs, "Forgive my outburst, these have been trying times. We should get to some place drier and discuss things there. The temple is right down the street."

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"Alright, then. It's lookin' like the temple's our destination fer now," Colt said, ignoring the quips from his teamates, Colt slowly drew the sword that was hanging by his waist. "I reckon you're gonna have ta give me a crash course'n usin' one'a these, Jack. Leastways till I c'n get meself a gun." He weighed the sword in his hand, and gave it a few awkward practice swipes attempting to get used to the weapon. Once he was comfortable that he wouldn't cut himself in a fight, he gently slid it back into its scabbard.

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[following Jester's initial out-hamming of Doc]

Haaaate...

He is... difficult, yes, but I am sure we can-

Haaaate....


[after Ruphus Laro introduces himself and tells where we are]

'Cauldron'? Oh, great, we are in another dimension!

Or another planet. And either is a good thing -- we do not have to worry about inadvertently causing temporal paradoxes or-

or, if this is another dimension, being able to rely on the Laws of Physics!

"So if de head priestess of St. Cuthbert is heading de investigation," Archeville began, "does your church handles all de law enforcement for de city of Cauldron? Or is dere another organization dat routinely handles such matters of crime und justice?"


[At the prospect of sending Jester in to the Last Laugh]

Jack makes an excellent point: if we were brought her by some intelligence, the presence of Jester may be indicative of a role in infiltrating the gang.

If whoever or whatever brought us here thinks that freak can be of any use, I would not use the term "Intelligent" to describe it!

Archeville nods at Grimalkin, and part of him wishes he had implanted neural links into the Interceptors for easier communication.


[And after Colt's most recent words]

"Dey may be harder dan you dink, Herr Colt," he commented, "as I do not believe de technological level of dis... realm is advanced enough to haff anything more complex dan an arquebus, if even dat. Vhich is quite a problem for dose of us who utilize specialized eqvipmet...."

Haaaate...

Bah! This is a challenge, a true test of our scientific and engineering skill!

Haaaate....

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"Dey may be harder dan you dink, Herr Colt," he commented, "as I do not believe de technological level of dis... realm is advanced enough to haff anything more complex dan an arquebus, if even dat. Vhich is quite a problem for dose of us who utilize specialized eqvipmet...."

Plodding along down the muddy street, Grim nodded sadly at Doc's assessment. "Yeah honey, you might have to make friends with Mister Crossbow, at least while you're here." She then turned to their guide. "Rufus, is there anywhere we could buy weapons near here, or do you have any that we can use? I don't know what we could use as currency, though..."

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Jack winced as he watched Colt wave the sword around. It was like watching someone pluck a Stratovarius like a ukulele. To be fair, the cowboy's extensive and varied combat experience gave him a substantial edge over the average person, to the point where his immediate grasp of sword fighting would have been impressive to anyone judging it objectively. The swashbuckler, however, couldn't help but feel a little protective of his particular specialization. "Uh, sure, buddy," he said aloud, retrieving the sword the third thug had dropped in his haste to flee and slipping it into his sash. "I can show you the basics, if we get a minute."

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"Hrmm, the temples' down over there you say?" Says Jester scratching his chin. Hrmmm... plot sense, tingling. Urge to narrate actions through use of interior monologue growing... "Yes, before we all whip out our swords to see whose stroke is most masterful, perhaps we should carry on this conversation somewhere that's a little more dry, my mascara is starting to run." Indeed it was, The runs in Jester's makeup had turned into the image of legs running away from his nose; cute.

Jester's arms elongate and shoot down the street, twisting and turning around corners. For a moment, it looks like he's doing nothing, well more nothing than usual anyways, but then an accordian like sound is heard, as the temple is being pulled toward Jester, comically squishing all the buildings in between. Jester walks out the back of himself, leaving a very weird puppet version of himself holding the road. He takes the fedora off the head of his double while stepping onto the Temple's street "Remember kiddies, any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan. Coming?"

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[After the weapons discussion]

"Y'all show me'a weapon't fires bullets, 'er some other ammunition, an' I c'n shoot it." Colt explained, it was clear that he was tooting his own horn. His accuracy with ranged weapons was something he took very seriously. "I reckon I c'n hit any target, anywhere, wit' any weapon. Ain't no need fer' specialized equipment, Doc." Colt smiled, and glanced down at Grim, clearly proud of his own skills.

Another thought entered his head, and the smile suddenly faded. Colt turned his gaze away from Grim quickly. Helluva Valentine's day this'll be. Still, we'll see if'n I can't do somethin' nice fer her'n this world.


[After Jester's stunt]

Colt simply stopped and stood. He had a curious expression on his face. It was a mix of disbelief, anger, and pain. Clearly did he not just completely fail to understand what just happened, but it seemed to hurt his brain as well. Colt simply stared at Jester with his mouth hanging open and a dumb expression played across his face.

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"Don't question it," Jack told Colt. "Don't ask, don't argue, don't even react. It'll only encourage him." Nonchalantly, the swordsman stepped past the double Jester had left behind like a shed skin, ending up in front of the Temple and doing his best to ignore the chorus of kazoos his energy awareness was insisting were playing a very touching rendition of Amazing Grace.

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"Remember kiddies, any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan. Coming?"

Grim stood there, stunned, flabbergasted and gobsmacked, at the bizarre display of Jester's...um...whatever the hell he just did. It suddenly occured to her that this was no mere clown, but in fact something far more terrifying: a toon. When she was a kid, she got all kinds of horrible nightmares the first time she watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit?; the finale when Judge Doom revealed his true self still gave her the jibbilies.

But then she realized something else: toons weren't that much different than faeries, since they both needed an audience and loved to tell stories.

So really of all the folks here, I have a slight advantage in dealing with this freak.

Taking a deep breath, the shapeshifter bowed deeply to the clown, producing a large musketeer's hat with gaudy plumage to enhance her flourish.

"I thank you, my good man, as does my father and my father's father! Come along, Colt!"

She grabbed the thunderstruck cowboy by the hand and dragged him through the sheer impossibility to the relative sanity of the temple on the other side.

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Dark Star said nothing at the multitude of odd antics and coversations as he floated above it all, literally. He understood the need to relax and have fun, but it seemed to him there were lines that one shouldn't cross as an example for others to follow. And that the line was likely quite a ways back. Still, there were good folk in danger. He focused on the task at hand and floated just above the others as they continued down the alleyway and roads.

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