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The Velvet Glove [IC]


alderwitch

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Alex might have been the smallest of Young Freedom's members, but whatever she lacked in size, she made up for in determination. Although James did tend to keep to himself, one could only hide from a psychic powerhouse for so long. Especially when that psychic had made you her top priority. So, Alex was sitting outside, patiently waiting for James to walk by, late at night. It was eaiser to catch him by himself after hours, so that was when Alex sat out to wait. Although she had a book with her, it was sitting by her thigh closed on the bench along with her everpresent book bag.

Although she was still eye-blindingly Alex, the events had left her perhaps the most physically changed of the team. Although Mike had grown in what was hopefully his last growth spurt, Alex was still surrounded by an everpresent glowing corona of energy that she hadn't had the time to work on repressing. Beyond that, though, Alex finally seemed comfortable in her own skin. It might have been any one of many factors but sitting there wating for James, she didn't fidget or hunch her shoulders. She simply tucked her hands into her lap and waited confidently for him to stroll by.

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James wander the grounds, idly wondering why he was wandering around here. He could teleport himself pretty much anywhere if only at a couple hundred miles per hop. But he still wandered the grounds of the school at night rather than somewhere else. He could probably figure out why if he really wanted. He wasn't a rocket scientist but it didn't take a genius to figure this one out.

Speaking of geniuses, he noted Alex sitting on the bench under the light. Not that she needed more light considering her own glow. He knew she was waiting for him as soon as he saw her. Why else would she be sitting alone in the dark on his path? And not reading her book which, oddly enough, seemed to be the wierdest part.

He sighed to himself and headed over. Time for more abasement, not that he didn't deserve it and more. "Hey Alex. You're up really late," he said quietly.

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"Hello, James," Alex said cheerfully as she swung her legs and got up off the bench, as if there wasn't anythign bizzare about her behavior. From Alex's point of view, there really wasn't. She collected up her bag and book and quickly caught up to him Alex was used to stretching her legs to keep up with Mike, after all.

"You keep kinda odd hours and I thought we should chat, so I napped this afternoon." She volunteered easily, smiling up at him with her usual sunny nature.

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James gave a wry smile as she fell into step. "Always planning ahead whenever you can," he commented idly. "So, how are you doing? You've had a few changes of late," he said, her aura blazing, easily visible. "You seem ok, but appearances can be deceiving right?"

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Alex was quiet and thoughtful for a moment, as she tried to find the best way to succinctly explain the jump in her powers. "I'm still adjusting. Although the terminus energy surge has faded, my powers are either still increasing or I simply haven't uncovered every change yet. I'm still running numbers. Here, look."

She stopped by one of the benches that had recently gotten crunched in an overly rambunctious game of frisbee. Extending her hands over it, the bench rapidly reassembled itself as it knit back together at a molecular level until it was as good as new. The entire process was somewhere under ten seconds and Alex wasn't winded. Before, levitating herself had really stretched the bounderies of her abilities. Alex dropped her hands to her sides and reshouldered her backpack to continue along side him, "Molecular manipulation. I knew I was theoretically capable of it. Now, its an actuality. I'll feel better once I've finished cataloguing my abilities. How about you?"

She fixed him with her wide, too perceptive eyes.

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He watched curiously. "Neat trick. Remind me to call you the next time something breaks. Glad you're doing ok. Nice to know things do work out. Heard you and Mike are dating too. About time, though it would have happened eventually anyway. But sooner gives you more time."

He gave a little half shrug. "All things considered, I'm better than I have any right to be. I was stupid. On an epic scale. Damn near got you guys killed, twice, even though the first one never was supposed to happen. And of course, I almost took out the whole planet. And now I actually feel guilty, a new thing for me, for everything I did and the hurt I caused you guys. But I can't complain 'cause it's all my fault anyway." He sighed. "Think that about sums it up."

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The smile Alex gave him was beyond radiant. She'd been waiting on Mike for years and although it would be years yet before they were adults, Mike's admission of his feelings was really all Alex had ever been waiting for. She simply agreed, "Yeah, its a really good thing."

She went quiet and thoughtful, her ponytail swishing back and forth as she either nodded or shook her head, "A little guilt is a good thing but only for so long. Yeah, you messed up and, yeah, when people like us mess up, its pretty dire. Really, though, you should realize you're not alone with that burden. Mike's never been able to forget his mistakes either and it almost destroyed the person he could become into someone ever so much smaller. Erin's survivor guilt is pretty much a daily struggle, and everyone thinks their an island, and that no one could understand. So they just carry this rock with them everywhere they go."

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He nodded, a little ghost of a smile. He was glad she was happy. Happy for them both, and a little jealous he supposed.

"Yeah, I know. I understand that, I do. And I've been trying to help Erin get over hers for a while now. And I understand it's going to be long journey for her. And I get the whole no one can understand. Given the powers and stuff, it isn't even hard I suppose. Coming to terms with who you are, I understand that. Guilt, especially when it's a new thing, takes time to get over." He shrugged. "I'll get over it. I know that. It's also going to take time. I also know that. Just knowing it is not the same as dealing with it. Plus along with that, I need to do a little 'soul searching' if you will."

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James gave a little nod in understand. "I know. If I had to guess, I'd say you've got the whole 'outcast' thing plus some control issues. Just guessing. And there isn't anything wrong with that either," he said, deliberately mis-answering her. He wasn't entirely comfortable going there with his friends. It had happened in little snippets when he couldn't control it. But now, it would seem like he was violating their confidences somehow. She was his friend and he didn't particularly want to go there.

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Alex sighed, obviously impatient with him before she shook her head at him. "James, if you want to talk about ethics and boundaries, I'm your girl. I've been able to read minds since I was a toddler, earlier even. Right now, I can see your emotions as easily as I can tell you what color your shirt is. I wasn't asking you to use that ability unless it was what you wanted to use to answer my question. You don't need it to know what my burdens are. You're my friend, that's really enough. Any metaphysical tools are one more ability to use to help. Its no different than being extrodinarily perceptive in a way. What matters is your intent."

She spread her hands a little wider, "I'll answer the question for you. I act like a child because I realize that this is the one time in my life that its acceptable, but its a concious choice. My parents always said that I was six going on sixty and its true. It is so very hard not to just fix you all and make you happy. For me, its like watching a child bark their knees over and over and over again and sitting on my hands. Sometimes it causes me physical pain to watch the suffering around me and constantly weigh what I can do with what I should do, and when I realize I've made the wrong choice, it eats at me."

Letting them fall to her side, she looked up and was obviously not discomfited by this outpouring of sharing. Her expression was fixed into determination, "But the idea that that is something none of you can help me with is a fallacy. You haven't had exactly the same experiences, but you have enough frame of reference to both understand them and lighten them. And you will help me with them where you can, because you're my friend. That makes it bearable when its hard."

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James shook his head. "You are far from childlike. You're right. But you think too much to be a kid, even a late teenager. Too focused to relax and let go." He looked over at her and smiled. "But you're easily one of the nicest or morally solid people I know." He continued walking a few more steps before speaking again. "And yeah, of course we'd help you any way we could. Obviously. And I get the point behind it all; that I'm not alone. That others can help me though it and empathize. I get that. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to forgive myself yet."

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"Thank you," Alex said with a blushing smile. She shouldered her backpack once again, clutching her book to her chest. She reached out to give him a pat on the arm, "Of course you'll carry that guilt. Like I said, a little guilt is not a bad thing. It keeps us from making mistakes the same way twice. The important thing is to not assume that we share your opinions of yourself. We're all going to respond in various ways and its much, much easier to deal with that when you aren't struggling under preconcieved notions. I'm not mad, James. I don't blame you and we're still friends."

She beamed at him, "How's that?"

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James gave a wry half-smile. "I'm glad you don't. But I do. Plus, I'm really hating this whole guilt thing and would love to not have to deal with it." He shrugged. "The hardest thing though? Not the guilt and hurting you guys or almost succeeding. But that it was me. Not really brainwashed or mind controlled. But me. Admittedly a darker part of my personality that doesn't come out, much. But still there. It's never fun seeing how low you can sink and how evil you can really be. That's part of my problem. Coming to terms with that part of myself, you know?"

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"That's hard," Alex agreed readily, scuffing her boots through the occasional leaf pile and watching them resettle. She took as much genuine glee as someone half her age in crunching and stomping the leaves but she never lost the thread of the conversation in her meanderings next to him. "Although, on a philisophical level, I disagree with your assessment. Take a look at Sophie's choice for example. In an absolute sense, it's terrible to think that any woman could chose between her children, but is that a judgement on her character or on the people who forced her to that crossroads? I'm not saying there's no personal responsibility but in an extreme situation - which I have to say hell qualifies as - can you really blame a person for the choices they make? There were plans to turn me into a weapon for the army discussed as a possibility in my records at the institute. If they had brainwashed me to that line of thinking, how responsible would I be in an absolute sense?"

Alex's tone was introspective and almost musing as she jumped with both feet onto the next pile of leaves and watched them puff up on the wind. "Its certainly something philosophers have debated over the years and will continue to. On a personal level, its something only you can really come to terms with, however you do that. I reccomend against alchohol."

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He frowned. "I think the argument is flawed a little though. I, or part of me anyway, likes chaos. Likes to inflict some pain and suffering, destroy. I'm not exactly proud of it, and I at least recognize that it's there. And I really try not to 'indulge' in it." But that didn't always work...Like when he and Zoe pretty much destroyed Student Body. He enjoyed that intensely, and knew he shouldn't. "Just part of my nature. Like my powers I suppose. Just something I'll be working on I guess."

He chuckled. "No worries. While getting it is easy, it doesn't really have much of an effect on me anyway. I'm not really the type. I think. 'sides, it's more fun to watch other people get hammered."

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"But is that nature or nurture? Sure, your dad is a demon but your whole life you've been raised by people who expect you to go bad. They expect certain behavior and, in turn, you provide it," Alex pointed out reasonabally enough, "Everyone has a part of them that wants to strike out and hurt someone else. Its part of our hardwired scrabble for survival. And while I actually do believe some people are born just plain wrong, I don't think you're one of them. And I've had a pretty up close and personal look at your psyche, if you'll pardon the pun. By all means, do some soul searching, but realize you weren't raised in a vacuum. None of us are."

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"I won't deny there's likely some of the 'nurture' argument in there. But that generally dictates or influences ones actions. I actually feel good and enjoy those things." He paused and gave a self-depreciating chuckle. "Ya know, this is nuts. I have about as much chance of keeping up with you in an intellectual debate as a doorknob does to me. But yeah, you're probably right. As usual," he said with a slight smile. "Still need to get used to it though."

"So, what are your plans anyway? Considering the power you've displayed lately, you're big league hero material and you're still in high school. Though, considering how smart you are, you could have a masters degree or two any time you want."

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"Maybe, maybe not. There's more to debating than brain power but either way, you're smiling," Alex pointed out with a cheerful smile of her own as she let him changed the subject.

When talking about her new power levels, she shrugged at him in a way that suggested she didn't think she was big leagues at all but agreed with his assessment for the rest, "Well, originally, I was going to go to college just to have the experience, but Zoe's going to be heading off to college the same time and not only do I want to be able to provide her tuition, but attending high school at the same time is enough of a strain. So, I've juggled my classes so that I can head straight into post graduate work once I turn eighteen. Psychology. As for the financial end of it all, unsurprisingly, I have a plan. One that I could use your help with."

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James nodded, glad she let the subject change. He wasn't quite ready to accept everything yet. "Yeah, I bet. But you do know that Zoe's got some kind of fund set up. It isn't much I don't think, but there's something there. Probably some temporal thing she arranged," he said with a shrug. "But yeah, I understand your position. Psych fits for you obviously, for a name and a profession. So what do you need from me? A job, a grant? Barring something really extreme, shouldn't be hard to arrange. I've had my investment team working heavily on growth. Just haven't bothered checking in for a while."

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Alex shook her head and touched his arm as she smiled up at him, "Nothing quite like that, although I do appreciate the offer. No matter what, Mike would be weird about any borrowed money. I need you to smooth getting my trust fund released before college into my hands and perhaps make certain that the money gets invested in the stocks I've selected. I've worked out a fiscal plan and feel very confident that I can turn the money set aside for college into a great deal more if I put my mind to it. In fact, I'm certain I can."

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"Yeah, I can see Mike getting all nervous about that," he said with a smile. James nodded. "Sure, no problem. That should be pretty easy to take care off. Might take a couple weeks, though if you need it sooner, I'll put a rush on it. So, what's goal for this? Just having enough for Zoe's college or are we talking buy a house or settling down by the time you're 30?"

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"I'm pretty sure that if my calculations are correct, I should be in the multimillions in a matter of months. It will take some delicate balancing to not throw off the stock market or end up accused of insider trading," Alex said with utter seriousness, "Admittedly, somewhat complicated by the fact that I'm under eighteen but I should be able to deal with that fact. I am certain that my parents will be happy to sign off on whatever I need. They've always been very supportive, thankfully. I'm a known parahuman so I have no concern over having my intellect revealed to the masses. I just need to make certain that everything's aboveboard since my psychic powers could be considered ethically problematic."

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James nodded, not particularly impressed or interested in vast sums and amounts. Money had never matter much to him, probably because he'd always had plenty. "Gaining a few million shouldn't be too hard. But given the fluctuations, it might be a little longer. Or sooner depending. But sure, I'll be happy to help out. Though I think you'd still want to keep your identity secret honestly. Not to the government since they sort of know already but to the world at large." He shrugged. He didn't have anyone he needed to protect and had yet to bother with the whole 'secret identity' thing. "So what are you going to do with your soon-to-come newfound wealth?"

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"Its a good question. There's a certain amount of necessity involved at first but beyond that, I imagine charitable investments and civics projects. There's not that much we'll need but money is an extrodinarily useful tool." Alex shrugged and dismissed it with a wave of her hands. "As for the secret identity thing, while it is probable I'll find a way to decrease this glow, the fact of the matter is I really don't have anything to hide and a great deal to lose by being revealed at a problematic moment. Being 'out' with my powers will allow me to do things like work with the government to locate missing children as well as deal with any ethical concerns about the nature of my powers and my use of them."

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