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The Coo-Coo's Nest [IC]


alderwitch

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"_I_ like taco pizza," said Jack irritably before editing his order the way Stesha wanted. Secretly, he was glad of it; it meant he'd have an excuse not to eat. When he'd ordered a meat lovers, a veggie lovers, a cheese lovers, and two pepperoni, he hung up and headed for the TV. "No cartoons, but we do have the cartoon network. And Discovery, if they're into that." He wasn't sure why little kids would like science shows, but then Jack hadn't watched that stuff in years. "Uh, they might have a kid's show on Nickelodeon."

At the sight of Stesha being mauled by the hair, Jack reached over and scooped up the winged thing by the scruff of the neck. "Hey! You don't want that! She's not pizza!"

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Taylor winced as the thump of the coffee table's leg giving way under the determined gnawing of the biter. She scooped him up as Jack collected the winged miscreant. Taylor was starting to think of that one as 'batboy', "You guys must have one sturdy nursery at home."

Taylor propped the coffee table up with one knee and slid a book under it to even it out in the meanwhile. Keeping the remote out reach, she rapidly flipped through the channels until they hit on a benign cartoon.

"So, who gets to escape to run to the store? I'm pretty killer at rock-paper-scissors." Taylor asked as she shifted the little caveman to her hip. He smiled, revealing pink gums with just a hint of white peaking through before he started on her shoulder. Taylor stuck the chain for the eye into his mouth instead, figuring that anything that could survive the fall of atlantis could survive baby drool.

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Stesha started to volunteer, only to find herself with Clingy firmly affixed to her leg and starting to shinny up her thigh. "Eeeeez? Eeeeez?" the little girl asked, apparently trying to climb into Stesha's armpit.

"I don't have any more cookies," Stesha said, giving in and hiking the mostly-humanoid child onto her hip. "We'll have more food for you very soon, Want a flower?" She took a daisy out of her hair and gave it to Clingy, who ate it. Stesha sighed. "It might take all of us to run herd on these three. Want me to give Derrick a call and see if he can pick something up?"

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"That sounds like an excellent idea," agreed Jack, who was getting quite a vigorous reaction from the little flier he'd pulled off Stesha. Denied his toy, the little guy had begun to hiss and yelp, pointy teeth making him look like the saddest batboy of all. Shifting around a bit, Jack reluctantly deposited the small creature on his own shoulder. His new buddy immediately clung there like a little gargoyle, clinging almost painfully to Jack's shoulder. "Ow. Yeah, isn't it nicer up there?"

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"Brilliant!" Taylor enthused, pausing to pick up the phone from the cradle and hand it to to Stesha. She carefully kept it out of the grabby hands of little mister bitey who chomped down on her shoulder out of vengance and screeched his outrage. "Ouch! I should just phase and drop you. That would serve you right."

She didn't, of course. Babies were still babies, after all. And it wasn't like any damage he managed to do wouldn't heal in a matter of minutes. Regeneration: always handy. She glanced up after handing the phone to Stesha and chuckled at Jack. "You look like something out of one of my b-movies. 'Me and My Gargoyle'."

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Stesha took the phone and winced as her hair was grabbed once again, but at least Clingy seemed to want it as a security blanket rather than a climbing frame. She punched in Derrick's number quickly, dancing around to avoid getting poked by one of Wingy's little spiked appendages, and sincerely hoping that Derrick wasn't a few hundred thousand light years away and out of cell phone range. When the phone picked up, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Hey honey, are you busy? If you've got a minute or two, I could use a really big favor..."

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Not everything in Dark Star's day was about averting major catastrophes. Sometimes it was as simple as getting a kitten out of a tree. Admittedly, those kinds of things seemed rare in comparison. At the moment, he was off the Hawaiian islands after helping a research firm do some undersea explorations. After setting the damage minisub back on their boat, he was about to ask if any other assistance was needed when he picked up Stesha's call.

"Hey there beautiful! I'm off the Hawaii coast and was just thinking of you. I can be there in a minute or two, sure. What do you need?" He nodded to the researchers and bade his farewell as he prepared to fly home.

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"Well... it's a little strange," Stesha admitted. "I'm helping Taylor out with this thing, and we really need some stuff from the grocery store. If you could stop by there and get us some Nilla Wafers, and a couple bottles of juice, and maybe some Zwieback toast. Oh yeah, and a box of toddler-size diapers, that's really important." She looked over at Taylor. "Anything else?"

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Gargoyle-boy had decided to start poking Jack's face, gentle pats with stubby fingers that somehow came to sharp points all the same. "Yeah, hi there," Jack shot a look at the phone, wincing a little at the idea of yet another person finding out where his super-secret headquarters was. "Yeah, that'll be all right. Ask him to pick up some air freshener or something too, would you?"

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"Sippy cups," Taylor responded with the promptness of a vetran aunt, shifting Bitey in her arms as he started the squirming back bend of any small child that wanted down. "Wipes, trash bags, and some dvd of something bright and colorful. And hopefully non violent."

She added the last after dodging a flailing fist. "I think that's it."

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Dark Star paused. At Stesha's words as well as the growing list from the other two. "Ah...well, that's a rather... interesting list. I'll see what I can do." He had no money on him, no hands, nor any idea where exactly one would find all this. But it seemed simple enough. How many varieties could there be? He'd work it out. He was a super hero after all. "Where are you? I'll be along as soon as I get your list taken care of. I should be there in 10 or 20 minutes I should think."

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"Great, that's wonderful," Stesha told him in a voice both enthusiastic and slightly pained from the changeling child pulling her hair. "I'll try and save you some pizza for when you get here, but I don't know if I can make any promises. I'm over at Taylor's place, she can give you better directions that I can." Since Taylor's hands were pretty full, she held the phone up to Taylor's head instead, dodging the grabby hands of Bitey in the process.

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Taylor gave Jack an appologetic glance before dutifully leaning over the speaker and providing the directions to the apartment to Dark Star. "We're on the top floor, so you can just gate in or zoom in next to the pool if that's easiest. Thank you!"

She leaned back and let Bitey drop to the floor. The changeling headed straight back for the coffee table that it had apparently decided was his and collected up the broken leg to continue gnawing on. Taylor kept a wary eye as she tried to provide Jack a bit of interference from the chubby fingers determined to poke him in the eye. "I don't think we'll be able to fix that table leg. We'll just tell Derrick not to mention the address to anyone, Jack. He can keep a secret."

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"We can trust Derrick," Jack agreed, muttering a word he was pretty sure little baby things weren't supposed to hear. Especially when it was directed at them. "It'll be all right. There's nothing here that can't be replaced," he told Taylor, being supportive even though he was not thrilled by all this. "Just as long as these guys don't go crazy or anything." He shifted his gargoyle buddy onto another shoulder, earning him an unhappy squeal of protest. "Aw, it's okay. We'll take good care of you." It was a good thing the fridge was locked down.

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"Hey, you have a pool?" Stesha asked Taylor. "That might be a good idea, at least give them something else to do besides destroy your living room." She wrapped Clingy in her cowl for a moment, toweling her like a small animal at the vet long enough to pry her hair loose again. That earned her a howl of protest from the tot, but won back possession of her braid. "I don't think Jack's house is quite childproof enough to handle them."

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"We do indeed have a pool. It's both heated and private," Taylor ducked her head down to collect Bitey and scooped him up along with his prize. She'd rather he gnaw on that than her fingers anyways. Taylor was glad the gesture hid her blush. She only hoped they had swimsuits somewhere in the house.

"It's certainly more sturdy than the living room," she agreed, as she turned with the squirming toddler held against one shoulder. There was a brief skirmish at the door to her study but Taylor was determined not tohave one of her priceless books demolished so she focused on the Herculean task of trying to hold onto a squirmy baby and shut the door at the same time.

"Do we have anything for Stesha to wear?" Taylor asked the question with studied innocence once she'd shut the door to the library to angry squaks of protest.

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Fortunately, this was one thing Jack was sensitive. "Ah yes, I did put the clean bathing supplies in the poolside closet." He had no idea if the ladies suits there would actually fit Stesha; he'd bought a half-dozen or so just in case of necessity, but had never actually tried to size them. "You can change in the adjoining bathroom, Stesha, there's plenty of room." It was designed for Atlas, after all, so it had a lot of space. The gargoyle on his shoulder suddenly took off, but Jack caught him in the air, the baby creature bursting into fits of hissy wails that sounded absolutely pitiful. "I think this guy's about ready for a swim."

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"Okay, back in a second." Stesha ducked into the bathroom and found a suit that mostly fit, then wrapped Clingy up in her cowl and tied it with a vine, which held the squirmy child just long enough for her to change. By the time she came back out, the little creature was back on her shoulders. "I wonder if they know how to swim." She waded into the pool at the shallow end, using one hand to keep her hair out of the chlorinated water as much as possible. "See, it's nice," she encouraged Clingy as the water rose up around both of them, trying not to grimace from the chemicals.

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Taylor shifted into her Phantom costume before shrugging out of the cloak, boots and gloves. It was an entertaining dance and shimmy to watch as she would put Bitey down, peel of an article of clothing, grab him from getting into something. Rinse, repeat. Finally, she'd wriggled down to just the leotard, muttering, "For once, I'm glad this costume doesn't involve pants."

Clingy made a soft eep-cheeping noise, delicately batting at the water with chubby hands before she chortled and happily launched herself from Steshas arms and glided into the water with all the grace of a baby seal. She bounced back to the surface with remarkable boyancy and spat out a stream of water before she settled into some happy splashing. Bitey was unphased by the water, although unlike his sister, he sank like a stone. As Taylor wasn't positive that their adaption would extend to breathing water, so everytime he sank like a rock, she hauled him back up to the surface again to splash at Clingy. The female clearly had the advantage in the water, and she blew some taunting rasberries at him to express her disdain.

As for the bat-winged gargoyle on Jack's head, he was the only one to express some reservations about the water. He latched sharp little fingertips into the fabric of Jack's shirt, crooning worriedly at him. Big, rather lambent, yellow eyes blinked at Jack as the creature leaned over to look at his face as if to say, 'I'm really not so sure this is a good idea'. Of course, that was beyond his vocalizations, so instead he clutched at Jack and made several questioning trills.

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Taking advantage of his own lack of dress, Jack kicked down just his shorts and a shirt, sitting down at poolside with his gargoyle buddy. "Hey there, little, uh, guy." He definitely was that! Funny how they always left that out of pictures of cute creatures elsewhere. "The water's really not that bad, you know. If you hold your breath underneath, you can go a long ways." He absently scratched the little guy behind one ear, earning himself a friendly whimper and nuzzle. And then, suddenly a lick with a tongue almost too big for that face. "Ack!"

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Stesha didn't stay in the unpleasant water too long, climbing out to sit on the side when it was obvious that Clingy was having a fine old time on her own. She found a little stash of inflatable toys next to the skimmer, still in the packaging, and stamped with the logo of a pool cleaning service. She inflated a ball and a life ring and tossed them into the pool, making a quiet bet on how long each of those would last. "Hey Jack," she called across the pool, "is the delivery guy gonna be able to find this place?"

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Taylor slipped deeper into the water, catching up Bitey - who at least wasn't snapping at everything now - and struck out for the intertube that she plopped him into. He squalled and squeaked for a few minutes before he realized it evened the odds between the happily swimming Clingy and he could splash at her with impunity. Now just as long as he didn't suddenly decide to bite the ring, everything would be okay.

"I didn't even know we had pool toys," Taylor commented, raising a hand to protect her face from the escalating splashing that was going on next to her. "The Fed-ex guy finds us just fine. I'm always getting packages for work through them." She paused and flashed a quick smile at Stesha, cheek dimpling, "I quit working at the library, and I'm doing freelance translations. It's great, I can work from home and the pay is way better. It was very satisfying to tell off my jerk boss when I quit."

Jack and Wingey found themselves in the ever growing splash zone, which wasn't too bad for Jack but Wingey chittered his outrage at his siblings and mantled his wings in tiny bat-boy outrage. He patted Jack's face dry with those sharp fingers, still grumbling and shaking his wings out.

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"Are we going to let them get away with that?" Jack asked of his unhappy shoulder-buddy. "I don't think so!" He reached down and launched a big wave at the two splashers in the pool, sending them swirling away as Bat-Boy and Jack chortled in their glee. Boosted in confidence, they slid into the water at that, Jack staying in the shallow end so the still-nervous gargoyle-baby could stay dry clinging to his shoulder. "I guess the toys came with the pool," he said, not surprised to see that Stesha didn't seem to be enjoying it. "And yes, it was quite a day when Taylor quit! We had a little party."

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"That's great," Stesha told Taylor with a laugh. "I knew it was just a matter of time till you got out of there. I just wish I'd been able to see the look on that jerk's face. Did you show him the picture from your cell phone? I barely knew the guy, and I've still saved it for posterity." She leaned forward, ready to hop back into the pool when Clingy suddenly submerged entirely, but it was quickly apparent that she could swim underwater fairly well, and thus escape the splashing. "I think we've bought some time with these guys, but how are you going to get them back where they came from? I mean, they didn't exactly come with a bill of lading."

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Taylor steadied the raft with one hand, heading out into the deep end to do so with ease. Flight had its many and varied uses, not the least of which was easy mobility in water. "Nope, I filed a complaint about his handsy ways with his boss and turned in my resignation the same day. It was very satisfying all around."

She ducked under the raft itself and came up on the other side, slicking her hair back out of her face with one hand to the happy shrieks of the little caveman in the inner tube who thought that was a great game. Taylor spat out water and continued. "Well, I'm hoping we can get them settled down with some food and I'll sneak into my library and see if I can do a bit of research. I've been wracking my brain but I can't come up with any plane they might be from. They shift too slowly to be true Changelings and they've got no magic to speak of. I checked. So the change must be some sort of physiological condition and I can't think of any parallel earth that has anything like that. I've got a few more esoteric tombs to - ack!"

Taylor sputtered as Clingy came up and spat out a stream of water at everyone, smiling at her clever, clever trick.

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