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Hellion's Vignette-The Letter

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The envelope was plain, no stamp or return address. There were just two handwritten lines on it.

To Erin or any member of the 'Young Freedom' team


Inside was a hand-written letter. Not exactly neat and crisp, it was definitely James's handwriting.

To whoever reads this (Hopefully Erin or one of the YF crew):

If you're reading this, then I'm gone (or you opened it before you were supposed to; a distinct possibility given you guys; one reason I'm not saying where I am). I failed and hopefully I'm dead. Seems odd to write that but it's true. And if I did win, I'll have torn this up before you ever read it and it won't matter either way.

Anyway, yeah. I'm gone. I went to fight my last battle. I know you guys would have been willing to help, but it wasn't your fight. And the thought one of you guys being killed or damned because me was not something I was willing to accept. This was my fight. My choice, right Erin? Anyway, I've chosen my side. He can burn down there for eternity.

I've been keeping something from my friends, you guys, a big thing. Erin knows but that's 'cause she found me when I was sleeping. I probably wouldn't have told her otherwise; not like I could hide it after that. I can lie better than almost anyone but that one would be tough to cover. Anyway, I suppose it helped cement our friendship; those early late nights when neither of us was exactly trusting. Glad she forgave me for almost stabbing her. Gonna miss hanging out with you. If I never said it: Thanks for being my friend Erin. You'll never know how much it's meant to me.

All of you guys mean a lot to me. I've never had real friends before you know. You guys were the first. Lots of people might think I'm their friend; I'm certainly good at convincing people to think it. But you guys are the real thing.

When I was growing up, I was never let out of the Family's sight. Never went to a real school. Even among the Family, I wasn't exactly welcomed with open and loving arms. (I didn't learn why until a few years ago.) They weren't exactly willing to risk it. Despite the stuff I had and things I could and did possess, friends were not one of them. I kind of struck out on my own, created a Ëœnew me' who didn't need people. Just used them and did whatever I chose. When I learned the truth about myself, it just reinforced that part of my persona. And made it apparent that I shouldn't share anything beyond that.

That's the James who came here. Who was met by Mark and that priest (still ticks me off how they tried to rub my face in it). Who I am, the way I act is part of that. But since then, you guys relied on me, made me part of the Young Freedom (it's still a dorky name Mark). So I changed, a little at a time. I still did the dating and partying and having fun. And yeah, I've done some less-than-good-guy things still (Zoe: if you're reading this, you're on your own if you want to finish. I don't think you should continue but follow your heart. It'll work out.) But I didn't use you guys. Just the opposite really. I did things for you that had no really benefit for me. A first I suppose. You were and are my friends.

But still I didn't tell you or even hint at the truth. I didn't want to lose you guys. It wasn't exactly a minor thing. I know we've seen weird things and people have weird secrets and stuff. This just seemed a bit bigger. How can you ask people to look at you the same way after they know the truth about you? Just wasn't something I wanted to¦ something that I just couldn't do.

So, for lying to you guys, I'm sorry. Even now, I'd rather keep it to myself than come clean so you don't think the worst about me. Hopefully I'm dead and gone and not coming back. That it's all worked out for the best.

But¦there's a chance, there's always a chance, things will go wrong and 'I' will be back. If so, just remember that James is gone. Whoever is left is not your friend. Get a holy weapon or something, fight on holy ground. That's the only way to put 'me' down for sure. True faith, true holy stuff. Get a good priest if you need to. It's the only way to really kill a demon you know. And this demon (half anyway) will be the one to destroy the world or so they say. Do what you have to. Don't hesitate or hold back. Be the heroes you are all meant to be.

Little downer there. Hopefully it won't happen, but had to hedge my bets right? Hopefully it'll all work out and I'll be back before dawn and no one will ever know. If my will ever kicks in (in like 7 years since that's how long missing persons have till declared dead), I hope you enjoy it. Till then, be safe. Enjoy life. Be happy. Sorry for not being able to tell you the truth. Thank you all for being my friends.


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