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Sugarrush

The Mantis--- PL 10 Villain --- Sugarrush

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Players Name: Sugarrush

Power Level: 10

Trade-Offs: [ +1 attack for -1 DC; -5 Defense for +5 Toughness]

Unspent PP: 2

Characters Name: The Mantis

Alternate Identity: Moonshine Hopper

Height: 5,6

Weight: 113

Hair: Bald (shaved), otherwise black

Eyes: Brown

Description: Moonshine Hopper has a thin and frail looking body, and wears his precious orange monk robes, sporting the mark of a praying mantis on the chest. He looks always calm and collected, sometimes showing a knowing smile, which for his age of 18 is not usual. As The Mantis he puts on an ancient mask depicting the face of a praying mantis, hiding his face but also strengthening him, as the mask has many secrets and have been worn by many masters and remains of their power is left in it for those who wear it to use, if they are accepted by the masters spirits.

History: Moonshine Hopper was found abandoned by his parents in the jungle between the borders of China and India, there he was found by a monk of a hidden and secret Buddhist cult known as “The unseen scaleâ€Â, believing that not only was humanity blinded from finding their path to peace and happiness by material and worldly wealth, but they believed that there was a need of true balance in everything. Moonshine Hopper was raised into fully believing in these ideas and took them in as a part of him self, and was trained in controlling his mind and therefore others, strengthening his spirit and therefore his body, but this training took impact on his body, when not strengthened, it was frail like a child’s. When 18 he was to get a mission from the elder, Lama Sunrise Claw, to see if Moonshine was worthy of becoming a Lama. Lama Sunrise had felt a great imbalance in the war between good and evil and decided that Grasshopper Moonshine Hopper was to embark to Freedom City and take place there as a villain, aiding the balance there. With some contacting, Sunrise Claw made a deal with the principal of Shadow Academy to take him in.

Personality & Motivation: Moonshine Hopper is always calm, and will not act unless needed or when he needs to aid as a villain. Moonshine will often, when there is a chance, destroy material and worldly matters, like money, jewels, things considered of worth, being helpful to those blinded by the world to see their true path.

Powers & Tactics: The Mantis has been trained to be strengthened by his mind, making him tough to harm because he wills not to be harmed. His mental training has given him some psychic capabilities, but his most fearsome power is his Touch of Nirvana, that drains his foes mental capabilities and strikes their minds at his touch. The Mantis is trained in martial arts and therefore likes to be close to his enemies.

Complications:

-In a new world (Moonshine has lived in caves and jungle all his life, Freedom city is unlike anything else and he should face many things he never have heard of, like the things you call telephones)

-Broken English (Moonshine is new to the language and has only begun to learn the basics, he should have problem being understood by others)

-Prejudice: teenager, bald, Asian, monk

Stats: 16pp

Str: 8/20 (-1/+5)

Dex: 10 (+0)

Con: 8/30 (-1/+10)

Int: 10 (+0)

Wis: 30 (+10)

Cha: 10 (+0)

Combat: 16pp

Attack: +4/+10(melee)

Grapple: +0

Defense: +4 (+2 flat-footed)

Knockback: -0

Initiative: +0

Saves: 5pp

Toughness: +0 (+0 Con, +0 other)

Fortitude: +0 (+0 Con, +0)

Reflex: +0 (+0 Dex, +0)

Will: +15 (+10 Wis, +5)

Skills: 50r = 12pp

Medicine 4 (+14)

Notice 12 (+22)

Sense motive 12 (+22)

Diplomacy 12 (+12)

Concentrate 8 (+18)

Feats: 14pp

Accurate attack

All-out attack

Assessment

Attack focus: melee 7

Defensive attack

Dodge focus

Jack-of-all-trades

Power attack

Powers: 86pp

Drain Will 9: Linked, Damage 9 (Nirvana Touch/Psychic descriptor); Extras: Duration: Sustained [+4], Aura [+2], alternate save: will [+1]; Flaw: Action: Full action [-6]) [3pp/1r) [27] (both are will-save)

Enhanced Strength 12 (Psychic descriptor, drawback: noticeable: glowing arms and legs) [11]

Enhanced Constitution 22 (Psychic descriptor, drawback: noticeable: glowing and sparking around the body) [21]

Force field 5 (Psychic descriptor) [5]

Impervious toughness 10 (Psychic descriptor, sustained) [10]

Device 3 (Mask of the mantis, hard to lose) [12]

Auto fire 1 strength 5; linked: penetrating strength 5 (Psychic/Metaphysical descriptor, PFs: 4 APs) [14]

AP: Emotion control 10 (Psychic descriptor, Extras: Area: Burst [+1]; Flaws: Range: touch [-2], Limited to one emotion: calm [-1], subtle) [6]

AP: Drain Toughness 5 (Destruction of lies/Psychic descriptor, Extras: Area: burst, Affects objects; Flaws: Limited to objects) [10]

AP: Speed 10 (Psychic descriptor) [10]

AP: Obscure 4, all sense-types (Psychic descriptor, Extras: Area: burst [+1]; Flaws: Range: touch [-2], phantasm[-1]; PFs: subtle) [9]

Drawbacks: 1pp

Impoverished

DC Block:

ATTACKS:------------------- SAVE DC:-------------------DAMAGE TYPE:

Melee---------------------20/toughness-----------------Bruising---

Nirvana touch-------------24/will----------------------Bruise/Drain

Destruction of lies-------20/ref-----------------------Drain------

Costs: Abilities (16) + Combat (16) + Saves (5) + Skills (12) + Feats (14) + Powers (86) - Drawbacks (01) = Total Cost: 148

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Welcome to the boards. Lets see if we get iron out some details on this guy, shall we?

The first major problem is that you don't have the proper formating. Like bolding powers and section heads. It just makes everything else much easier to read. Look at one of my characters (located in my signature) for an example of what I mean. I'm a stickler for formatting.

Stats, good.

Combat, there are several errors here.

1) His Melee attack bonus should be +11, not +10.

2) His grapple modifer is +16

3) His defense line should read: +5 (+2 Flat Footed) [base Defense +4]

4) His knockback modifier is: -0/-12 with powers active

Saves:

You need to dentote the bonuses (or penalities) you have for abilities scores in your Toughness and Fortitude saves, and your force Field for Toughness.

Also, I find it very hard to believe that a highly trained martial artist doesn't have a single rank in Reflex Defense.

Skills, I'm counting 48 ranks spent (which costs 12 points).

Feats, the numbers work out, though I am curious as to why someone who has so little skills trained has Jack of all Trades.

Powers:

Full Round action is not a proper flaw a power with a sustained duration, and especially one with aura. You take a full round action at the begining of combat and now you are coated in a more powerful version of corrosion for the remainder of combat. I think not.

The Mask sounds like something that may need the Restricted power feat.

Also, denote that the Subtle power feat on Obscure only effects those outside the area of effect, just for quick reference's sake.

But other than that, you just need to spend those last 2 points.

And once again for emphasis: formatting is your friend.

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