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Otherworldly Outings (IC)


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"Oh for the love of god! Die when I kill you!" roared Malice. Malice leveled his sights on the reeling creature and unloaded on him without mercy, each bullet cutting deeper and deeper into the creature's flesh. "You now have one mission in life. Tell all your alien buddies not to mess with Earth! Especially not America!" The creature defeated, Malice takes off in search of the Captain.

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Presumably, the creature wouldn't be completing many missions in the near future. At least not after the way that Malice left it looking.

Flying off in the direction of the leveled forest, Malice took a gander at his scanners. His suit had taken some damage in that fight, but at least his navigation systems still worked. He could see the beacon he had tagged the flowers with getting farther and farther away. At the same time, he could see the tracking beacon that he had left in the space suit he had given The Captain light up and start blinking. He was getting closer ...

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Why exactly did I bring this idiot along? At this rate it'll take me longer to gather all the ingredients with him tagging along than it would by myself. Then again, watching him get splattered was pretty funny. Just hope he's not dead. Crippled maybe. But not dead." He eventually found where the Captain's body had come to a halt after its little joy ride. It was a shame too, there was this big patch of thorns about 15 feet away too. "So close and yet so far." Looking around for a moment, Malice picks up a stick and pokes the Captain. "Oye! You alive?"

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Captain Knievel groaned at the poking. His eyes fluttered open he swatted the stick out of the way. "Quit it! I'm sleepin'!"

After a few seconds his brain woke up. That's when the pain started. "@#$% OWW! @#$% OW OW OW! @#$% @#$% @#$% OW!"

A few minutes later, the two were back on their way towards their quarry. Captain Knievel in no less pain then before, but at least he had control over his mouth, finally.

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"So, 'I think I got him this time!' huh? Remind me to run the other way when you say 'this guy's too strong' and we'll call it even, alright? Now get your butt in gear, we're not going back until we got what we've come for. If you think gas prices are bad, you should see atomic rocket fuel." Malice offers the Captain a hand getting up, but that's about it before he takes starts his trek to the fruit.

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And what a trek it was. With The Captain hobbling along, it took quite a while for them to reach their destination. One great boon was that Malice's scanners lead them right to the fruits and flowers that they were looking for. Luckily, they met with no more trouble along the way.

Once they met their quarry they were able to find their way back to the ship. The going was slow, but once again uneventful. The ship opened up and allowed them inside. As soon as they got onto the flight deck, Captain Knievel flopped down into one of the seats.

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Malice goes to stow the prize of their venture away. When he comes back, he sees Captain sprawled out. "And what do you think you're doing? Come with me." Malice leads the Captain to a door that leads to a room about the size of a small shower. "Get in." When the Captain does, Malice seals the door again, and pushes the intercom button. "Welcome to the airlock. I'm tired of having you compromising my missions, once we're in orbit, I'm blasting you out into space."

Malice lets the look of terror fully cross Captain's face "Nah! I'm kidding. It's an invention of mine." This weird green liquid begins pouring out of slits in the walls. The liquid is a little thicker than water, but not quite goop. "Think of it as a super strong version of Neosporin. It'll take us about 2 hours to reach the next planet. It's still in the same star system, so I can't go at Plaid anymore without either crashing into something or over shooting it. So get some rest."

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After he calmed down from the initial shock of Malice's latest gag, Captain Knievel let himself fall into the sweet release of the healing chamber. "I'm never going to get used to him..." He said to himself as the goo filled the chamber.

After an hour or so, it began to drain. Captain Knievel slapped the "release" button and the doors opened. He stepped out of the chamber as good as new. He noted the fact that where the skin had been lacerated was completely healed, but the fabric of his outfit had not closed up around him. This left all the tears and abrasions he had accumulated without any of the scars on his body. "Huh! That's cool."

"Hey Malice! What's our ETA?"

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"We made pretty good time. I managed to sling shot us around one of the moons, and I've got a lead foot. We'll be there in about 10 minutes. But before we land, I want to show you something. See that bright speck out that window over there? No, little more to the left - yeah that one. That's the sun this planet is orbiting around. As you can imagine, this planet is cold as ****. My scanners don't indicate any life, but I'm not even sure what I should be looking for in this environment. This time, we're looking for a crystal." An image pops up on screen, of one of those long and thin naturally occuring crystals, like the ones that crop out of rocks. "Don't let that picture fool you, the kind we're after is about 3 feet long and weights a few hundred pounds. Specifically, we're looking for one with a golden vein running through it."

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"Solid. Let me know when this thing is landed and we can get looking for it." The Captain grabbed a towel from nearby the healing chamber. "Do you need to get a go in this thing?" he gestured at the healing chamber. "I knew that you took damage. Maybe not as bad as me but still." Captain Knievel continued to dry off. "I'm going to go change. I'll be out in a sec."

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"I have a similar technology integrated into my suit already. Not nearly as potent, but I didn't suffer enough injuries for it to be a major issue. Also I tweaked your ring suit a bit. It should be enough to keep you warm, but if you start feeling cold, let me know. Also, there are some lights on it now so you can see what the heck you're doing." Malice enters the planet's atmosphere and begins scanning for the desired crystals. He finally finds a vein of crystals and sets the ship down in a large cavern, protected from the sheer winds. "According to the scanners there's a vast amount of crystals in this complex. Some of the passages are too small to take the ship, so we got to go spelunking. You ready?"

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The ship descended onto the planet. Unlike the last world there was no problem finding a place to land. Most of the surface of this planet was icy waste and freezing desert. The scanners indicated that their quarry lied within a subterranean cavern. The problem here was that the cavern was surrounded by a massive frozen lake. The surface of the lake was strong enough to support both of the passengers of the ship, but not the ship itself. Malice landed the ship on the shore of the lake and the two disembarked.

After a long and frigid walk, they reached the cave. The descended into the depths and explored it's many passageways. Once they were hundreds of feet below the surface, the walls stopped being a mix of rock and ice and became solid crystal. After a few more passageways, they discovered a massive subterranean cavern. There was a small lake on one side of the cavern, but the rest of the cavern was made of crystal, wall floor and ceiling.

As they crossed to the other side, the cavern suddenly began to rumble. Two massive crystalline things fell from the ceiling. After they smashed into the ground it became apparent that they were vaguely humanoid. But they were made of solid crystal.

"I got the one on the left." Captain Knievel spoke abruptly before he charged towards the pair. He lept into the air and came crashing down on the left creatures head with a flaming punch! Unfortunately the thing somehow saw him coming and was able to react fast enough. It seemed to dissolve into the crystalline ground. It reformed a few feet away after Captain Knievel landed. "Crap!"

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"If this one gets loose, shout a warning this time!" shouts Malice before he takes off into the air. "Alright Rocky, Stumpy didn't much care for these bullets, so I'm hoping you'll have the same reaction." says Malice as he goes through the motions of unloading on the creature. Was fighting weird space rock creatures now rated so low on the weird-stuff-o-meter that Malice could throw out cheesy one liners?

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The creature ate the bullets from the second amendment like a champ. It tried to resist the bullets as best as possible. It was no use, however. The creature was hurt!

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"Well it worked once, lets see if I can do this again!" Captain Knievel lashed out with the whip on his adrenaline cannon. It managed to wrap up the creature soundly. Captain Knievel tugged on the rope. The creature resisted! But it was no use. Captain Knievel's skill managed to keep the creature tied down, but just barely! The creature seemed unaffected by the tightening grip of the lasso, however.

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The monster continued to struggle and try to get out of Captain Knievel's hold! Captain Knievel managed to keep the thing pinned down though. "I've got him tied down for now malice! Take down the other one!"

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Malice looked like he was about to shoot the creature again, but then stops. "You know, I should probably start conserving ammo or else I'm going to run out, and that would plain suck. Okay, old school time." The thrusters on Malice's back light up as Malice barrels at the creature. Sloppy as all get out, but the creature was too staggered from the last attack to do much of dodging.

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The creature managed to look up just in time to see Malice hurtling at it through the air. It once again took the hit like a champ. But Malice's steel fist left quite a large spidering crack in the creature's face.

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Captain Knievel kept pinning the creature down. This time he yanked on the rope as hard as he could! The creature seemed to be choking against the pull of the laser whip, even though the issue of it's possessing respiratory organs had yet to be discussed. "Yea! Eat it! Ain't nobody that can get out of my grip!"

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The creature wasn't so injured that it couldn't try to get out of the Captain's grip! Captain Knievel dug in his heels and pulled back on the whip. The creature stayed where it was. "Hah! You're mine!"

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The creature's face shattered further. It clearly didn't know what was going on!

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"Keep it up, Malice! I'll keep this one tied down as long as possible!" Captain Knievel once again tightened his hold as much as possible.

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The crystalline monster in Captain Knievel's grasp let out a screeching roar as it tried to resist the crushing grip of the whip. A large section of the creature's constricted chest began to shatter under Captain Knievel's crushing grip! "Yeheaaaa!" But that didn't stop the creature from struggling against the Captain's grip! But there was no escape!

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The cracks continued to grow as Malice pummeled the creature. But it still did not go down!

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Captain Knievel seemed satisfied with his tactics usefulness so far. He also liked seeing Malice work his but off. He also remember what happened the last time he let a creature this big out of a hold. He continued to chain down the creature. "You're not going anywhere!"

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The creature tried struggling against the whip. Careful of it's cracking chest. It's attempts to struggle out of Captain Knievel's grip were useless. He wasn't letting this thing go anywhere!

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Malice looked over his shoulder at the Captain. "Am I crazy for thinking this thing should be dead by now? I mean seriously, I've cracked it's head like a dozen times. I can think of no creature that should be alive at this point. Alright. Enough old school, this thing needs to die." Eric pulls out another one of those guns. "This should do it, I'm hoping." says Malice as he fires while barely paying attention.

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Apparently Malice's lack of attention was disastrous. His assault missed the creature by the narrowest of margins. Despite the punishment it had taken from Malice over the past few moments, it turned it's attention to Captain Knievel! The creature slammed it's fist down on where the captain was standing. Captain Knievel barely managed to avoid the strike by leaping over it.

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"Woah!" Captain Knievel yelled while still trying to maintain his grip on his own creature, "I thought you said you had that thing on the ropes!" His breath clouded in front of him in the chill air.

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The creature that was bound by Captain Knievel strained against the ropes! But a few more minescule cracks started forming around where it was being bound. It once again tried to free itself. But Captain Knievel's grip and strength proved to be too much for it!

"Come on, Malice! My back is killing me 'cuz I'm CARRYING THIS TEAM!!!"

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"Oh will you please shut the heck up! In case you've forgotten, we're on a distant alien planet, and you're only be kept alive by the suit I made you. And the only way we can get back is with the ship I built and only I know how to pilot. All you've done is grope a couple of critters and deforest an alien planet, with your face. So no you're not carrying the team. You are the schmuck that dumps the bucket of Gatorade on the coach at the end of the game. So shut up and let me concentrate." In his tirade Malice takes a pot shot at the creature, but again misses.

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