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Dr Archeville

June Song Vignette: Belphegor

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Location: Curious Things, Jos Terhune's antiques shoppe in Riverside. Inside are Adam Mears, Tom Wells, and Danny Levinson (better known as Fox, Vulture, and Shark) and Jos Terhune. The Trio are huddled together in one section, near a table of various knick-knacks, while Terhune sits at the counter, reading over the newspaper.

(Note: this is taking place in late June 2009, many months after their run-in with some heroes in Riverside and their run-in with some other heroes at the Waterfront, which occurred in Sep 2008.)

 

 

 

(Song is to the tune of

"Be Prepared" from The Lion King)

 

 

Adam: I don't think you two deserve this. {He dangles a set of storage locker keys in front of them} I practically gift-wrapped that Mind-Witch for you, and you couldn't even dispose of her!

 

Tom: Well, ya know... it wasn't exactly like she was alone. Remember, it was that grim, dark Avenger who destroyed our suits.

 

(Terhune lowers his newspaper and leans a bit closer.}

 

Danny: Yeah. What are we supposed to do-- {swallows nervously} kill Scarab and Avenger?

 

{Terhune speaks up.}

 

Terhune: Precisely.

 

{The Trio pause from their discussion and look over to Terhune questioningly.}

 

Terhune:{spoken} I never thought souls were essential.

They're crude and unspeakably plain.

But maybe they've a glimmer of potential

If alloyed to hellfire and pain.

 

{Three-top flutter to coincide with Terune's long strides towards the Trio.}

 

{Terhune walks calmly through sheets of flame and gas which are now shooting up from the floorboards of his shoppe}

 

{Terhune paces slowly around Danny, who is nervously fiddling with a small bone wand.}

 

Terhune: {Full song} I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a Deep One's backside

But thick as you are, pay attention

I'm talking 'bout Lust, Wrath, and Pride

 

{On 'Pay attention', Terhune angrily swats the bone away; Danny comes to abrupt attention}

 

Terhune: It's clear from your guarded expressions

You know my Deal comes from "Downstairs"

 

{on "downstairs" Terhune makes an air quote gesture; Danny makes the Sign of the Horns, and Terhune winks}

 

Terhune: But we're talking power! Possession!

Even you can't be caught unawares

 

{Adam & Tom are standing slack-jawed behind him; on "you," Terhune turns and leaps at them, throwing them backward onto a pair of chairs, which then animate like bucking broncos, throwing the two men into the air and crashing behind an aisle.}

 

{In the next verse, Terhune is strutting theatrically up some small crates onto and then down the length of a long display case.}

 

Terhune: So prepare for a deal of a lifetime

Be prepared for sin-sational news

A shining dark era

Is creep-crawling nearer

 

Adam: And how do we fit in?

 

Terhune: {Grabbing Adam's cheek} Just shut up and listen

 

{Adam rubs his cheek, which is now bruised red}

 

Terhune: I know it sounds sordid

But you'll be rewarded

When at last I am given my dues

Make a deal and you'll meet all your goals

Sell your souls!

 

{Terhune leaps up beside Danny, who is again messing with the bone wand, and here kicks him away from the display case}

 

{The Trio crash into two aisles which fall in on them, submerging them in bric-a-brac; they reappear, each with a different horned skull on his head.}

 

{Spoken}

 

Adam: Yeah, make a deal. Yeah-heh... we'll make a deal, heh. ...For what?

 

Terune: For the death of Avenger.

 

Tom: Why? Is he sick?

 

{Terhune grabs Tom by the throat}

 

Terhune: No, fool - we're going to kill him. Scarab too.

 

{Dropping Tom back onto the floor}

 

Tom: Great idea! We'll rush in and overpower 'em!

 

Tom (and then Danny): {Sing-song voices, dancing around Adam} Zerg Rug! Zerg Rush! Mua-ha-ha-ha-haa-haa!

 

Terhune: Idiots! There will be no rushing!

 

Danny: Hey, but you said, uh...

 

Terhune: Plan out these things! ...Stick with me {triumphant, toothy grin}, and you'll never see prison again!

 

Tom and Danny: Yaay! All right! Hail, our Dark Lord!

 

{Camera reveals hundreds of imps in the shadows, ranging in size from horsefly to housecat, popping up from between and out of the antiques.}

 

Trio & Imps: Hail, our Dark Lord! Hail, our Dark Lord!

 

{Full song again}

 

{ Terhune's army of imps is goose-stepping across the floor of the shoppe, now stylized into a Nazi-esque quadrangle. Terhune sits upon a rock throne set atop his counter.}

 

Imps: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}

It's great that we'll soon be connected.

With a fiend who'll tolle Inferni.

 

Terhune: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected

To do a few small deeds for me

 

{Motions a slice across the neck}

 

Terhune: The future is littered with prizes

And though I'm the main addressee

The point that I must emphasize is

You won't get revenge without me!

 

{Leaps off his rock throne, hulking out into his Demonic Form, to single out one hapless imp in front of the Trio; that imp slips and falls into a fiery crack in the floorboards}

 

{Throughout the next verse, the entire horde of imps joins in dancing boisterously, leaping along the tops of rock pillars that are bursting forth from beneath the shoppe & through to the second floor above, shaking animal & human skeletons in the light, one playing a rib cage/xylophone.}

 

{The parenthetical parts are the imps' counterpoint singing}

 

Belphegor: So prepare for the deal of the century

(Oooh!)

Be prepared to be ranked 'mongst the damned

(Oooh... Damn! Damn Damn!) {rear ends punctuating}

Meticulous planning

(You'll have might!)

Tenacity spanning

(Might makes right!)

Decades of torment

(Say again)

Have honed my intent

(Pow'r of Sin)

Be Fiend undiluted

(Aaaaaaah...)

Fear, envied, saluted

(...aaaaaaah...)

And seen as Hell's Great Artisan

(...aaaaaaah!)

Make a deal and you'll meet all your goals

(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)

Sell your souls!

 

All (Even Danny): Make a deal and we'll all meet our goals -

Sell our souls!

 

{Close with a fill-in and a fade-out. Belphegor and the Trio are laughing evilly, then kneel before the demo. Drum roll rises to a crash.}

 

 

 

Note: "tolle Inferni" is Latin for "raise Hell"

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