June Song Vignette: Pompadour

[Dr Archeville]

Pompadour was behind the wheel of his street rod, headed to The Ink Tank to see his friend Trevor. Suddenly a low-pitched woman's voice moaned out "Oh, I need you soooo bad!" Thoroughly startled, he pulled over to the curb to investigate; the unknown woman continued to express her (presumably carnal) needs. Ah. Cell phone. Generally, his cell made a very subtle tone, but he had programmed an emergency override code for when authorized people needed to get ahold of him. The porn-sounds signified his agent absolutely, positively needed to speak with him instantly. Pompadour decided on the spot that he absolutely, positively needed to change the ring-tone... it seemed funny when he set it, but now that it had been used, oh so inappropriate.

 

"Talk to me Mandy. What's the crisis?"

"I don't know! I don't know! Your presence has been requested at Freedom Hall."

"Oh my God!"

"I know!"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"I'm going!"

After hanging up his cell, Pompadour quickly dialed his friend Tank, to let him know about the change of plans.

"Hey man, I need to cancel on you. Sorry about the last minute thing, but someone wants to talk to me at Freedom Hall."

"Oh my God!"

"I know!"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"You gotta go!"

Pompadour put his wheels into gear, and went to see why The Freedom League wanted him.

 

At Freedom Hall, Pompadour did his best to walk with confidence. He had been working on writing some of his own music, lately, and he found that some of the songs he had written were running through his head, and he suppressed an urge to start singing them. Stupid nerves... this is Freedom Hall. Save that for the shower, man... The pleasant looking woman manning the reception desk had a name placard that indicated that her name was Cynthia. "Hello miss. My name is Pompadour, I believe someone is expecting me?"

 

The voice came from behind Pompadour. A voice he recognized. "Yes, Pompadour. Thank you for getting here so quickly." Sheer force of will kept Pomp from dropping to his knees and babbling for mercy. He turned to face Captain Thunder, who reached out to shake his hand, and then gestured for Pompadour to follow him. He did so, doing his best to steady his nerves. He found that he was humming the chorus line for the song he was writing, and dug his fingers into his palm to make himself stop. Captain Thunder lead him to a small meeting room, still on the main floor. He gestured for Pompadour to have a seat, and settled into a chair himself.

 

"Alright, Pompadour. The reason I wanted to see you, was just to do some personal followup on the incident back on the Memorial Day long weekend. Multiple reports indicated that you claimed that the man that attacked that nightclub was me. Although, beyond making that statement to the police who arrived on the scene, you didn't make any public statements. Can you tell me more about this?"

"Uh, yes, Captain. The man who attacked the club did look like you, and he said his name was Ray Gardner. He also said his name was Donar, though. I said what I said for the official record, because that's what I saw. I didn't go blabbing it around, because I figured I'd look like a fool... and no one, including me, thinks you run around attacking night clubs."

"Now that you're sitting face to face with me, do you still think that the man at Da Bomb looks like me?"

Pompadour searched his memories for images of the lightning-lit club, comparing an image of the self-proclaimed Thunder God to the face of Captain Thunder. They were identical. "Yes. Not having seen you in person before, I suppose I wasn't 100% sure. But now that I'm here, I'm sure."

 

Pompadour realized he was tapping his foot against the chair-leg, along to a rhythm in his head, and Captain Thunder was looking at him quizzically... wait, was Captain Thunder tapping the table along to the same rhythm? Did I just see that? Pompadour stilled his tapping by crushing his foot to the floor ruthlessly.

"Given your former career as a Super Criminal, there was some muttering among my colleagues that this was some sort of elaborate scheme to discredit the Freedom League. Of course the other strange attacks over the weekend seems to suggest some extra-dimensional power was at work. I just thought I should do you the courtesy of interviewing you before we closed our file on this. Actually, I've heard that you're making strides pursuing a career as a hero and I'm glad to hear it. Did you have anything else you wanted to share with me, or The League?"

 

To his horror, Pompadour found himself propelled out of his chair, with his voice raised in song:

You've got great Powers,

Well, I think mine are just okay.

I used to be a Genius too,

But next to you, I'm just a Mook.

I really Love your costume, yeah,

Maybe I should get one, too,

'Cuz that's what Heroes do, I betcha.

 

So what do you do?

Oh yeah, I fight criminals too.

I'm not on a Super Squad,

But you know I'm pretty new.

I've got a gig as a Super Dude,

If I put myself on the Map,

I can be a Hero that the People will really Love.

 

Cause I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

And I want to be a Superhero like you,

Yeah, I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

And I feel in my Heart; Whooo!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

 

So,

Until then,

I'm really just a fraud.

And I'm feeling kinda blah,

Yeah, I want it really bad.

It's not just what you do, it's what you are.

But the real truth is, I'm really afraid of getting smacked down.

 

Cause I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

And I want to be a Superhero like you,

Yeah, I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

And I feel in my Heart; Whooo!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

 

I'm getting brave,

And I'm feeling super heroic like you,

It's just that I've been afraid,

'Cuz Supervillainy is a Scary Thing.

It isn't? It is for me.

And I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

'Cause I want to be a Superhero like you,

Yeah, I like you,

Yeah, I like you,

And I feel in my Heart; Whooo!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

 

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

Whoo-hoo hoo-ooooh!

 

"Superhero Like You" sung to the tune of Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols

 

Captain Thunder looked... surprised, but applauded politely as he also got to his feet. He opened his mouth to say something, but a look of horror washed over his face, as he realized he was not in control of the words coming out of his mouth!

Well I guess it would be nice

If you could be a hero.

I know not everybody

Can be heroic like me.

 

But you've got to think twice

Before you try the hero game

And I know you're looking for fame

But you can wind up maimed.

 

Oh, but you

Need some time to show true devotion

Time to get your heart into the game

And when the crunch comes down

You'll put it in motion

Well, it takes a strong man, Pompy

But you already know the way

 

But I already have faith...

Now you've gotta have faith.

Faith - uh - Faith - uh - Faith ... ahhhh!

 

"Faith" sung to the tune of "Faith" by George Michael

 

Captain Thunder finished his song with a cough, and shook his head. "We will never speak of this," he told Pompadour, as he ushered him towards the exit.