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The Great Genderswitch Caper [IC]


Ecalsneerg

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"Yes. Yes. Draw him out. Capture him. Acquire reversal." Avenger's voice was quiet, malevolent rage. Jack opted not to mention how he planned to extract the cure from Otaku, not wanting to shock the sensibilities of his coworkers. These were his fellow Knights, after all, and everyone else needed ground for working together. "Perhaps while Archeville researches, rest of us can hunt Otaku. Cover our bases, even if cannot capture Otaku."

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Muah hah hah hah hah! With these blood samples, we can clone an army of super-soldiers!

No, we will not be doing that. EVER!

"Star, I dink you may be best suited to tracking Otaku down," she said as she removed some blood samples from a centrifuge, "you can detect energy fluctuations, such as dose found in de secret headqvarters of a teenage mad scientist, ja? Start in de alley where ve vere attacked."

Like the originals are something special?

They are, especially if given a direction.

"I vould prefer it if ve did not destroy anyding rare or expensive in order to draw Otaku out, but drawing him out is a good idea. Gecko, I believe you vould be best suited for dat, assuming your aircraft contains a decent communications array und loudspeaker." She began extracting some of the spun blood samples into other vials of technicolor liquid, "If you can mask your voice so it sounds like your normal male voice, and broadcast that I haff already reversed vhat he did to us, did so very easily, und made disparaging remarks about the blatant sloppiness of his techniques, dat may draw him out. Professional rivalry, und all dat. Hellbound, I dink you can be of use in dat plan, too."

Victoria placed some of the vials into assorted machines, which hummed and spun to life, then took up a notepad and began writing, "Avenger, vonce you give me your samples, I vill have a list of tech suppliers you can check out who may know something of Otaku's scheme, or at least know somevon who knows someding. Vesley, I dink you vould be of help in dat task."

You enjoyed that, didn't you?

You may be where we get our energy from, but energy is useless without a purpose.

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The Hellbroad smacked one fist into her opposing palm. As always, the sound was akin to a hammer striking concrete. Unlike the previous times s/he'd gone through the action, there was a certain amount of additional jiggling. Jiggling that was made even more so by the use of the anti-gravatics that kept her full weight off of the high heal boots.

"So that means I either get to hit something, or help Geckolass make fun of it?" She asked. "Sounds like a sweet plan to me."

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Geckolass noticed the jiggling and raised an eyebrow in appreciation. So, seems preferences weren't swapped ab... wait, work! "Hmmm... I could easily rig up the interior speakers to the exterior and route a bit more power to them. It'd kill the radar invisibility, but that's probably a good thing. Doc, do you have a microphone in the house anywhere?" She pulled a screwdriver and spanner from her utility belt. "And maybe I could spit up the outputs so we've got background music to sing our taunts along to! The music'd also obscure our more feminine voices too! I am a genius!" She ran off towards the Pitchoo with a skip in her step. "Gadgets and mocking! 'tis a good day today!"

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White Star nodded. Given her speed, flying through the city looking for spikes wouldn't take long at all, even with overlapping to make sure she covered everything twice. "I'll get on it. It shouldn't take me too long to cover the city in a grid pattern. 10 minutes? Given the city though, there are a lot of fluctuations. Any specific types I should be looking for? Otherwise, checking them all out will take significantly longer." She lifted off and headed straight for the wall before pausing. "Do you think I should be hidden when doing this? It'll significantly add time considering I'll be moving much slower than I'm capable of." The stealthy method was really her way. But she had learned that it helped.

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See, the plan's coming together!

Yes... but only we can restore them to their original forms!

"I dought you might like it, Hellbound. But if you to do lure him out, alert de rest of us before doing anyding."

"Dere are some microphones on de table behind you, Gecko. Vell, two tables back, und three to de left."

"I vould suggest searching in a spiral pattern, Star, starting from de alley. Look for unusually large electrical signals, either larger-dan-usual taps from de local power grid or generators in a place dat should not haff a generator. Concealment vould be prudent -- ve vant Otaku focusing on Gecko's & Hellbound's taunts, not you."

One of Archeville's machines went DING, and a screen on one side began displaying readouts. Victoria studied them intently, switching to another machine's readout when it went DING.

A large smile spread across her face. "Ha! Otaku, you clever boy! Only you vould dink to use biorestorative radiation for someding like dis!" She turned to the others, "I know how he did dis, und better yet, haff a better target for you to track, Star."

Victoria brought out her Electromagnetic Lipstick, and used it to generate beachball-sized holograms of their altered cells, including some in the process of being altered. "Basic Biology: humans haff 23 pairs of chromosomes, und von pair determines gender. If it's XX, you get a girl, XY gives you a boy; de Y-chromosome is actually a shrunken or broken X-chromosome. Vhat Otaku's beam did was cause de Y-chromosome to regenerate into an X chromsome, giving us a pair of Xs und derefore..." she glanced down at her ample bosom, "vell, a pair of other dings. Dis low frequency radiation has fairly distinct signature, dough it fades vhen outside living cells. Mein own scanners detect an identical signature to de south, but cannot pinpoint it."

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White Star nodded and grinned. "Excellent. I'm on it dud...ette! You know how to contact me!" She quickly altered her energies to conceal herself, partly to cover the social error. Turning she shot forward, straight through the wall. In a mere moment or two, she would be on the souther side of the city. Slowly, she focused her energies on detecting that troublesome signal that could lead to their tormentor.

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Jack was torn between a desire to help her friends (not to mention herself) and the firm, rational realization that betraying her secret was a potentially suicidal maneuver. She wanted her body restored and this profound personal mutilation reversed, but not so badly that she wanted to die, or see her friends die. Her other friends, the ones with whom she shared the bonds of blood and death.

It was Geckolass who solved the problem for her, a glimpse of her jailbait legs that made him realize the true nature of his own situation. I want her. My urges haven't changed. They're not a man's. Or a woman's. I am a monster.

"Will be unable to provide you with what you require." There was something new in Avenger's gravely, feminine voice, an unaccustomed emotion. Regret? "Inform me if this will impede your efforts. After tech suppliers have been dealt with."

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That avenger..., The Hellbroad though, now there's a weird one. There almost seemed to be something wrong with her obsession about this crime fighting business. Granted, it was one thing to be dedicated, but to become so single minded as to almost be unable to function properly? That just wasn't right.

Even she was able to give a sample of her blood, and she had skin tougher than steel plating and blood which burned like napalm. Why avenger wasn't able to capitulate was simply beyond her understanding.

But then, everyone had their little quirks.

"Right." She agreed with the Doc. "No going in on my own, gotta wait for backup. It's not like I've never seen a cop show before, I know what happens to the loser who tries cleaning up the whole show by themselves."

Granted, that was fiction and this was real life, but the same principles applied. She was part of a team, and unless they were faced with a situation where she had to go in first in order to keep anyone else from being hurt, then she'd play along.

Though it would be difficult to hold herself back. Giving that urine sample served as a nasty reminder of what she'd lost recently, and the girl was anxious to get it back.

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Avenger's unable, or unwilling? Hrrmmm....

It would be better if we could get at least a blood sample. The urine sample was to do a better check on hormone levels, but we need hir DNA to make sure ther's nothing that would conflict with any cure we create.

And so we can clone hir!

NO!

Victoria stared at Avenger, and cocked one eyebrow, "it... vould impede mein efforts, actually. I need to make sure ve vere all affected de same vay, und if dere are any unique properties in your blood or genetic makeup dat could preclude a cure from vorking at an optimal level."

She turned to look toards Gecko, "Oh, I vould suggest Thin Lizzy's De Boys Are Back In Town be von of de songs you play vhen you go out."

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"Okay, I have a question." The Hellbroad speaks up.

"So this guy came up with a way to do all of this with just a blast of radiation, right? Now I might not be a..." She tried to come up with the proper branch of science to cover all that'd been done to them, but really this was just too far beyond her limited education and eventually gave up.

"... smart guy. Broad. Whatever, but if he's that smart, is he really going to be dumb enough to get fooled by just altering our own voices? If seeing is believing, won't he really need to actually need to see us back to normal before he believes it?

"Not that I could expect you to clone male bodies of us and send them out as cannon fodder or anything, but at the very least shouldn't we do something to show that his crap didn't work? Robots? Hologramataic' projections? Disguise suits like they used in those Mission Unwatchable movies? Something?"

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Private, eh? Well, let me just get my probes and-

It's AVENGER!

... dammit!

Victoria looked to Wesley and Geckolass, then back to Avenger, then back to the other two, and then back to Avenger.

"I vould rather not leave them unattended in mein vorkshop, so," she said as she pulled Avenger to one side. She adjusted her Electromagnetic Lipstick, a shimmering semi-transparent field of energy surrounded them, and Avenger realized it was very quiet around her. "I haff surrounded us in a small gravitic field dat can redirect sonic vibrations directly to our ears. Ve can scream as loud as ve vant, and no one outside de field can hear us. Und mit your mask on, dey can't very vell read your lips, so tell me vhat de issue is mit you."

Outside the field, Wesley and Geckolass could see Archeville & Avenger talking, but could hear absolutely nothing.

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Oh, yeah, likes it rough, does she-

It's AVENGER!

... I HATE you, Doc Otaku!!!

Victoria looked to Avenger's hand on her shoulder, and gently removed it. She then looked right at the masked woman, fixing her with the cold, clinical gaze of a medical doctor.

"No. No, I do not understand. I understand almost nozhing of you, because you are so damnably obfuscative. Your 'brooding loner of de night' routine has its place, but dat place is not here, vhen I am trying to help you!"

Wesley and Geckolass still hear nothing, though they can see Archeville's obviously worked up about something.

Victoria adjusted her coat, smoothed her hair, and exhaled slowly. "Tell me vhy you cannot give me at least a blood sample, und I may be able to find some vorkaround for you."

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"BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY BLOOD!" Avenger detonated. There it was, one whopper of a secret right there in mixed company. Avenger squeezed her long, lovely fingers into fists, her leather gloves creaking inside the cone of silence. "I don't have any blood.," she repeated a moment later, more quietly. "I don't have any bodily fluids. I can't give you what I don't have."

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So very feisty!

It's... y'know, I'm not saying anything more. If you get slapped, fine.

Victoria crossed her arms and smiled.

"Now vas dat really so hard to say?"

She uncrossed her arms and put his hands on her hips.

"Und now dat I know dat, I can use other methods of retrieving a genetic sample from you for mein tests. I haff dealt mit dozens of atypical physiologies, including crystalline, liquid, und gaseous beings, I have vays of retrieving vhat I need."

"I am trying to help you, Avenger. I presume you vould like to have our conditions reversed, ja?"

Wesley and Geckolass still hear nothing, though they clearly saw Avenger go off.

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"So, you've worked with this guy, right?" commented Geckolass to Wesley. "Is he usually this... volatile?" She frowned slightly at his angry outburst, although did derive some pleasure from the look of smugness of the Doc's face. "I mean, seriously, what is with the grimness? He, or she I should say, is like a bad 40K fanfic, she's that grimdark."

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Wesley sighs in longing to keep quiet, but she can't be rude. "Well, he's complicated." Stopping to hear her new voice, she looks surprised. It isn't some falsetto. "Hm, not bad," she nods impressed, "I never pegged my female voice as an Aaliyah type." She pauses, "Sorry about that. But yeah, Avenger is Avenger. He's a unique individual."

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"More complicated than you imagine," Avenger replied, her voice back to the flat, cold purr. "Will offer a tissue sample. Am aware of your good intentions. Recommend you use vessel lined with silver compound to take sample." She turned and shot a look back at the other two; maybe she couldn't hear them, but from what she'd seen of those two, it wasn't hard to guess what they were thinking.

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Cutting, cutting, cutting, cutting, cutting!

See, this is why the AMA doesn't let us in.

"Vould you also recommend a silver blade mit vhich to excise de sample? I'm sure I could find something here vhich vould do."

Victoria clicked off the silence field around them as she walked over to one of the chemical workstations and whipped up a small batch of silver plating solution to coat some slide plates.

"You vill need to show me some skin, too," Gecko & Wesley heard, "since taking a sample of your leather outfit will be of little help."

Victoria paused suddenly, then her eyes grew wide.

"Ha! Actually, a sample of your leather outfit could be of great help!"

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Avenger thought about Archeville's response for a moment, then confessed, "Leather is not geninue. Have other outlets for funds." As she spoke, she stripped off one of her blood-stained heavy leather gloves, revealing long, delicate fingers underneath that came to perfectly manicured nails dyed a lovely, reflective shade of black. "Silver a wise idea. Results will be unexpected. Recommend you concentrate on mechanics of gender-switch."

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Fake leather? What sort of grim avenger does s/he think s/he is?

I think there are more important things to be focusing on.

Archeville retrieved a small hard leather case from a nearby table and returned to Avenger's side. The case was a miniature medical kit, though one that seemed designed by Jules Verne or H.G. Wells. He wiped the top of her hand with two substances, a clear fluid (rubbing alcohol) and then a blue gel.

"De procedure isn't very painful, unless I happen to hit just de right- er, wrong, spot. Dis compound vill deaden de pain receptors; it should last only a few minutes, ten at most."

"Should?!"

"Ja, vell, I know nutzing of your neurochemistry, so it may last slightly more or less... or considerably more or less."

It actually had no effect at all on "Jill"'s undead nervous system.

"All de more reason for me to get dose samples!"

The procedure was slightly more painful than having razor-sharp blades scrape off half a dozen dime-sized pieces of flesh... because while that is pretty much exactly what happened, "Jill"'s undead flesh reacted rather unpleasantly to the silver blade.

">," Archeville whispered in German, ">"*

Victoria placed the samples into a group of machines, then applied something that looked like Neosporin to the back of Avenger's hand before wrapping it in gauze. Then she jotted down several names and addresses on a notepad and gave the page to Avenger.

"Here's de list of tech suppliers I mentioned."

* sounds something like "Sie haben, dort sind kein blut hier überhaupt recht. Faszinieren!"

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