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Bullderdash

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Diary entry for 3/02/09

Dear Diary,

Today was an ok day. There was some snowfall overnight, so there road conditions were bad. Im glad I walk, though there were some icy patches. I went to the grocerie store to pick up some stuff. While I was there a little kid started crying when he saw me. Im not scarey looking, am I? I mean, yes, being made of crystal is kinda weird...but I dont think Im a monster or anyhting. Maybe the kid was crying at something else... either way, it hung on my mind for most of the day.

On the way back from the store, I thought about dropping by Police HQ, just to say hi. It was only a few blocks out of my way, nothing major. But I decided against it. I still miss the force, but its better to quit cold turkey. This whole super hero thing is harder than I thought. I feel like I've been thrown out in the middle of nowhere and left to figure out the rest on my own. How do all the other hero's make it look so easy?

Maybe Im going about it wrong...

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Diary entry from 3/03/09

Dear Diary,

I had to go by a new mattress today. It was all rather embarrassing. I had a nightmare. In it, I was myself before I changed into crystal. I was back at the Squad Gym doing my workout, when I got a call to go to the chief’s office. As I was walking through the hallways, Suddenly I was in a cave, underground. I got scared. I tried to run, find a way out, but there was nowhere to go. These crystal spikes started growing out of the tunnel walls, and no matter how I avoided them, I got scratched. And where I got scratched, my body turned to crystal. But not the crystal I am now, unmoving, lifeless gemstone. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and started running for it, then limping as my legs turned to crystal. Then I was crawling, and finally I couldn’t move at all.

I woke up, pinned to the bed. All over my body, in my sleep, I’d grown diamond spines and spiky protractions which stuck out every which way, like a porcupine. My PJ’s were shredded and my bed was like a block of Swiss cheese. I managed to retract the spikes and dislodge myself, but with all the holes, I couldn’t get back to sleep.

The new mattress will be arriving tomorrow, or at least that’s what I was told after I made my purchase.

Guess I’m sleeping on the sofa tonight

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Diary entry from 3/04/09

Dear Diary,

Today, Im off to get some help with my furnature issues. His names Doctor Archville. Seems like an ok guy, but I cant seem to shake the little red flag that goes up in my head. Didnt I hear something from one of the other officers once about how he's a little nuts from time to time. Its probably nothing. Besides, I called around, and none of the other big brainy hero types would see me. Next best shot would be in mid april, but by then I'd probably have knocked appart just about everyhting I own. I dont know, I guess I'll go see him. Whats the worst that could happen?

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