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Captain Knievel

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[January 16 1700 hours]

*click*

Testing... Testing... Is this thing on? Who hooked this up anyways?

CRASH!

*Distant* DA***T JOHANSEN! I swear you drop another tray of tom collins drinks and i am gonna throw you overboard!

*Normal volume*Anyways, sorry about that folks. Captain Knievel here, on my yacht...*HONK*with my two beautiful compatriots Paula and Shawna. Freedom City's two sexiest singles! Say, "Hi," girls!

*Distant sultry women's voices* Hiiiiii!

Anyways, just thought i would test out this new recorder doohikey that i got here. More later! This is Captain Knievel, signing off!

Come on ladies, you want to go check out my stern?

OOooooOooo!

*click*

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The lights were flashing brightly, but it did not bother the Captain. the camera flashes of the paparazzi only made his teeth shine all the brighter, and he knew it. He stood at the podium with the microphones and cleared his throat. the flashes died down.

The Captain will now take any and all forms of undying praise!

"Captain Knievel. Debra Force, Channel 4 News!" Yes Debra? "Sir, is it true that you were involved in the accident that caused two 18 wheelers to collide on the freeway the other day?"

First of all, Debra, let me start by saying that you look absolutely stunning this fine afternoon! And yes, it is true! The captain threw up a hand and produced a perfectly formed thumb and pointed at himself. Flexing his voluptuous bicep he continued: You see, Debra, I was involved because I caused that crash. I was the one driving the second truck! That is why the authorities (useless as they are could not find a second driver!

The cameras began flashing brighter than ever. The Captain reveled as they light began reflecting off of his perfectly colored skin.

Debra, why don't you come up here and make poses with me!

As she stepped up onto the podium with him, the cameras continued flashing. Flexing his large flowing muscles, the captain struck a number of provocative poses, with the attractive Debra at his side. Soon however, the police chief made his way through the crowd.

The cameras stopped flashing.

"sir, i am going to have to ask you to come with me. You see, the man you ran into with the truck passed away. therefore you are under arrest for recklass endangerment and manslaughter. You have the right to remain silent..." the police chief reached for his handcuffs.

Woh Woh buddy! Did i SAY you could touch the Captain? shove off bozo! Captain Knievel shouted as he pushed the police chief off the podium.

Four other cops began to run towards him. He swept Debra off her feet, (at a high pitched, but pleased squeal from her) and jumped onto one of the cops heads. he jumped into the middle of the crowd and proceeded to crowd walk away from the police. Once at the edge of the crowd he jumped into his sexy red sports car, deposited Debra in the passenger seat, and sped off doing 125 miles an hour on the sidewalk to get past traffic.

The Captain was not seen for a week. When later recovered, Debra Force testified that she had been kidnapped and had spent the best week of her life as Captain Knievel's personal love consort.

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----Channel 10 news at 6-----

It seems there have been strange build boards going up around town!

Devon Knows How They Make Captain Knievel So Creamy.

Double The Pleasure Double The Captain Knievel

Captain Knievel? Yes please.

One goal, one passion - Captain Knievel.

Captain Knievel inside you!

The magic of Captain Knievel.

Captain Knievel - a safe place in an unsafe world!

The Captain Knievel spirit.

Captain Knievel will be for you what you want him to be.

All of these Build Boards bear Captain Knievel's likeness and his glittering set of pearly whites...More at 8!

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The following takes place between the hours of 2am and 3am. Events occur in real time

------

Uggghhhh today was booorring Taylor Rogers whined as he sat slouched in his leather arm chair in his pent house suite. There isn't even anything on TV. He droned on, continuing to flip the channels. A large fire place burned next to him, the wood snapped as the heat filled the room and bled out through the flu.

It's times like this when i just want to fall asleep and stay asleep. He said, his eyes closing.

--------

I seriously need to find something to do. there is STILL nothing on the damn TV. Enraged, Taylor threw the remote at the TV set, shattering the flat screen. Great. This day just keeps getting better!

I think ill go take a shower... the captain hopped out of the seat, forgetting about the TV. He traipsed around the room stripping articles of clothing left and right, finally donning a towel, and stepping into the shower. The water was turned on quite hot, and the whole place began to steam. ...And i'm here. To remind you, of the mess you made when you went away! It's not fair, to deny me of the cross i bear that you gave to me! You, you, you, OUTTA KNOW!

-------------

The captain was on top of the building outside the penthouse. He took careful aim at one of the pedestrians down below, and let the shattered TV fly. As he walked away from the edge, he heard a very satisfying *CRUNCH* and panicked screams of, "Oh my god!"

THAT made my night.

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Captain Knievel - an introduction

Introduction

Give a two or three word description of yourself. (Describe your character's concept.)

“Flashy, self absorbed, self assured, and manliness incarnate.â€Â

Do you have any nicknames, street names, titles, or nom de plume?

“The Captain, The Man, Knievel, The K-Man, The list goes on.â€Â

What is your full birth name?

“Assuming this is in confidence, and this won’t have any ramifications for my family, my name is Taylor Rogersâ€Â

Where do you live?

“Freedom Cityâ€Â

Why do you live there?

“Family is localâ€Â

What do you perceive as your greatest strength?

“My sheer manlinessâ€Â

What do you perceive as your greatest weakness?

“Being as how my overconfidence is not a reality, nothing!â€Â

Physical Traits

How old are you?

“22, going on 23.â€Â

What is your sex?

“Maleâ€Â

What is your race?

“Humanâ€Â

How tall are you?

“6 feet of awesomeâ€Â

How much do you weigh?

“200 ‘golden apples’ (and it’s all muscle, baby!)â€Â

What is your general body type, frame, bone structure, and poise?

“Body type: Awesome; Frame: Large; Bone structure: perfect; Poise: Chest out, chin up!â€Â

What is your skin colour?

“Whiteâ€Â

What is your hair colour?

“Blondeâ€Â

What is your hair style?

“Slick Back (knievel) Shaggy and unkempt (Taylor)â€Â

Do you have any facial hair?

“Noâ€Â

What is your eye colour?

“Blueâ€Â

How attractive are you?

“Ever seen David Hasselhoff? Well he’s got nothing on me!â€Â

What is your most distinguishing feature?

“My good looksâ€Â

Do you have any scars, tattoos, or birthmarks?

“There is a tattoo of a raging bull breaking through a wall on my chestâ€Â

What is your handedness (left/right/ambidextrous)?

“Right handedâ€Â

Do you resemble some currently known person?

“Godâ€Â

What kind of clothing do you wear?

“I am a sharp dressed man, when not lifting or in costume. Suits and the like.â€Â

Do you wear makeup?

“Only when on camera (which is always)â€Â

What sort of vocal tone do you have?

“A deep commanding voiceâ€Â

History

Where is your homeland?

“USA!â€Â

Are you aware of its history?

“I know everything that I care about knowingâ€Â

Are you patriotic or a social outcast?

“Very patriotic, I love my city! And that is why I grace it with my presenceâ€Â

What is your opinion of home?

“Home is the place you take all of your women to when you bed them.â€Â

Where is your home town?

“Freedom Cityâ€Â

Are your real reasons for becoming a villain different from what you tell others?

“The motivation is the same, but the actual reason is different to protect my identity

How far would you go to keep such secrets from being revealed? What would you do if the truth became known?â€Â

“I would deflect any repercussions with my glorious manlinessâ€Â

What do you fear would occur if the truth became known?

“I would lose many endorsement dealsâ€Â

Do you have any particularly high or low ability scores?

“I am at the peak of human physical condition. But I have no need for booksmartsâ€Â

How have these scores affected your life so far?

“They got me this beautiful yacht…*honk*â€Â

What about your race, growing up were you in the majority or a minority?

“Neither, my home is very diverse. (except for all those freaks with powers)â€Â

Did this impact your outlook in any way?

“Yes, I can’t stand all those freaks with powers! I also don’t care very much for the black man.â€Â

How do you feel about other races?

“The rest of the races are fine as long as they don’t screw with me.â€Â

Were there any traumatic experiences in your early years (death of a family member, abandonment, orphaned at an early age)?

“Yes, I had a near death experience at the age of 15.â€Â

Briefly describe a defining moment in your childhood and how it influenced your life.

“Ever since I was a kid I was always jealous of all those other kids with super powers. But now I just don’t care. Because I have a yacht *honk, honk* AND this awesome body, and what do they have? Superpowers? Whoop de fricken do!â€Â

What stupid things did you do when you were younger?

“I got braces and played role playing games.â€Â

Which toys from your childhood have you kept?

“My old baseball glove, and some other minor trinkets.â€Â

Why? What do they mean to you? If you didn't keep any, why not? What did you do to them all?

“My glove represents my love for sports and physical activity. It also represents what helped me become who I am today. And I love me so much I decided I would keep a reminder of it.â€Â

Do you have any deep, dark secrets in the past that may come back to haunt you?

“I don’t bother keeping secrets, it wastes time that I could be telling people about how awesome I am.â€Â

Are you who you claim to be?

“I am true to every bone of perfection in my bodyâ€Â

Do you have any sort of criminal record?

“Now that you mention it, they still have not caught me for that one time…No record though.â€Â

How do you view the heroes/legends of your country?

“Some of the historic figures may have earned their place in the limelight, but as far as I am concerned, all of those heroes can just go stuff it. They are far to self absorbed for their own good. I on the other hand am exactly as important as I should be.â€Â

Family

Who were your parents?

“I am not at liberty to disclose that information. I have to protect who they areâ€Â

Were you raised by them? If not, then why didn't they and who did raise you?

“Yes, they raised me, and they loved me, and I respect them greatly for that.â€Â

What was their standing in the community?

“They were your normal middle class working peopleâ€Â

Did your family stay in one area or move around a lot?

“Except for finding the best doctors for my operations, we stayed in one placeâ€Â

How did you get along with their parents?

“We get along fine, I just wish they were more attractive like meâ€Â

What do your parents think of you? Answer this in the voice of your mother, then in your father's.

“Taylor is such a nice boy, we are so proud of him!†“I am glad that boy made a name for himself!â€Â

Do you have any siblings? If so how many and what were their names? How did you get along with each of your siblings?

“No I am an only childâ€Â

What was your birth position in the family?

“N/Aâ€Â

List all current knowledge of family locations, spouses, children, birth dates, schooling, and any important incidents that only you and they might remember.

“My family lives in the Freedom City suburbs, I am not married and have no kids. If I present any other info here it may jeopardize those that I love and so I will withhold it for now. If I am ever in any situation in which my identity is in question, and my family asks what they should do, simply tell them to enact plan ‘Mongoose’ they will know what that means.â€Â

Do you stay in touch with them or have you become estranged?

“My alter ego is on good terms with his most familyâ€Â

Do you love or hate one member of the family in particular?

“One of my aunts has never really liked me, and I can never seem to please the ugly old coot anyway, so we just don’t talk.â€Â

Is any member of the family special to you in any way (perhaps, as a confidant, mentor, or arch-rival)?

“I can usually talk to my mother about anything. She understands me, and knows who I am. But there are just some things that I won’t tell her.â€Â

Are there any black (or white) sheep in the family (including you)?

“I am the blackest sheep in the family so to speakâ€Â

If so, who are they and how did they "gain" the position?

“I got where I am just by being myself!â€Â

Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor?

“None that I know ofâ€Â

If so, what did this person do to become famous or infamous?

“N/Aâ€Â

Do you try to live up to the reputation of your ancestor, try to live it down, or ignore it?

“N/Aâ€Â

Do you ever want to have a family of your own someday?

“Being as how I need to make sure that I pass on my awesomeness, sure, maybe someday.â€Â

Would anything change your mind on this issue and if so, what?

“If there is one think I can’t stand its parents that take their kids places and can’t control them. I saw this one dad in IHOP the other day…â€Â

What type of person would be your ideal mate?

“Someone with a great body, that laughs at all of my jokes, respects me, and recognizes that I am completely in charge.â€Â

Relationships

Do you have any close friends? If so, who and what are they like?

“I play poker with a group of guys every month or so. Most of them are around my age and work, so it’s difficult to find the time to meet up. Other than that a star like me has many friends, none of them are very closeâ€Â

What is the history of their relationship(s) with you?

“I have known them since I was in schoolâ€Â

Do you currently have a best friend whom you would protect with your reputation or your life?

“I like my friends, but I would not sacrifice myself for them. They don’t look nearly as good as I do!â€Â

If so, who are they and what caused you to feel so close to them? What would have to happen for you to end this relationship?

“N/Aâ€Â

Do you have any bitter enemies?

“I don’t like anyone who was born with super powers. Oh yea, and Bob Sagatâ€Â

If so, who are they, what are they like, and what is the history of their feud with you?

“I am telling you … the man is a fake. I just don’t like him. And he is ugly tooâ€Â

Have you defeated them before?

“Every time I turn off ‘Full House’!â€Â

How might these enemies seek to discomfit you in the future?

“Well, he keeps doing standup!â€Â

Which person(s) or group(s) are you most loyal to?

“Me, me, and the members of my fanclubâ€Â

Who is your most trusted ally?

“Don’t have one yetâ€Â

Who do you trust, in general?

“Anyone with stunning good looks (because they have no reason to lie, obviously!)

Who do you despise and why?

“Didn’t you already ask this question?â€Â

Name seven things you hate in others.

“I hate: ugly people, uni-brows, fat people, nerds, undue pretentiousness, bad cooks, and girls who do a bad job dying their hair.â€Â

Is your image consistent?

“You tell me? Have you ever seen anyone remain this awesome for this long?â€Â

Do you deliberately present yourself differently in different situations, and how?

“Well every time I pose as my alter ego, I have to limit my actionsâ€Â

What would you die for?

“the perfect non-aging creamâ€Â

What is the worst thing someone has done to you?

“One time, a kid in middle school stole my lunch. I beat him to a pulp when I got older though.â€Â

What is your general reaction to an attractive member of the opposite sex who lets you know they are available?

“I take them homeâ€Â

How do you get along with other villains?

“I don’t really care what they do, as long as they don’t get in my way. And if they need my help I would probably give it to them, for a price, or a favor of course. As long as I have no other pressing concerns at the timeâ€Â

Have you lost any loves?

“I have loved and lost many women in my timeâ€Â

How did you handle the situation (short & long term)?

“With me there never really is a long term, unless you count how long we are in bed for, because that is very long termâ€Â

Who would miss you should you go missing?

“My family of course, other than that, no one really outside the obvious would miss me.â€Â

How close are you to your adventuring companions?

“As of now I work aloneâ€Â

What do they not know about you?

“N/Aâ€Â

Are you a member of any house, guild, organization, or church? What is your level of involvement?

“No, I don’t have time to be a member of things, but I do head up my own fan club. I hold parties on my yacht *Honk* sometimesâ€Â

Personality & Beliefs

Do you, or did you, have any role models?

“Elton Johnâ€Â

Do you have any heroes or idols, either contemporary or from legend?

“I think that Da Vinci is kinda coolâ€Â

Did you ever become disillusioned with former heroes or idols? If so, why and what were the circumstances?

“I only REALLY idolize myself, and I fully support myself in every way, so, no.â€Â

When did you decide to become an Villain?

“When I was told I would lose my endorsement deals if I continued my current activitiesâ€Â

Why have you chosen to risk your life as a career?

“Are you kidding? I haven’t had this much fun since I fell out of that plane!â€Â

What do you expect to get out of being an villian? What, if anything, would make you stop adventuring?

“Really I am just doing it for fun, I don’t know of anything at the current time that would make me want to stop. I am sure there has to be SOMETHING though.â€Â

Do you have any dreams or ambitions? If not, why?

“I dream about myself all the time! And my ambitions are just to keep pushing myself. So I get the chance to live those every day!â€Â

What are your short term goals (what would you like to be doing within a year)?

“A double backwards somersault with a three quarter turn and sticking the landing after delivering a flying kick to some hero’s head. I think that would look coolâ€Â

What are your long term goals (what would you like to be doing twenty years from now)?

“Ruling the world of course!â€Â

If these goals seem at odds with each other, or with your dreams, how do you reconcile the differences?

“The Captain is never at odds with anything.â€Â

Do you have any great rational or irrational fears or phobias? If so, what are the origins of, or reasons behind them?

“Yes, I am afraid of cotton candy. Don’t know why. I Just don’t like how it disappears in your mouth.â€Â

How do you react when this fear manifests itself?

“Oh that’s simple, I just blow up the cotton candy stand and cut off the head of the snake.â€Â

What are your attitudes regarding material wealth?

“Absolutely 100% necessary.â€Â

Are you miserly with your share of the wealth, or do you spend it freely?

“Oh I spend it freely, on things that benefit only myself of course.â€Â

Do you see wealth as a mark of success, or just as a means to an end?

“I see wealth as totally awesome!â€Â

How do you generally treat others?

“Like crap.â€Â

Do you trust easily (perhaps too easily) or not?

“Define trust…â€Â

Are you introverted (shy and withdrawn) or extroverted (outgoing)?

“HA! what do you think?â€Â

Are you a humble soul or blusteringly proud?

“I wouldn’t say that blustering is the right word. More like blinding.â€Â

What habits do you find most annoying in friends?

“Lots of them have this annoying little habbit of talking when I am trying to think… I don’t like that. I also don’t like it when they talk louder than me; or when they talk when I should be talking. In fact, I just don’t like it when they talk.â€Â

What are your most annoying habits?

“Ha! You’re funny!â€Â

Is there any race, creed, alignment, religion, class, profession, political viewpoint, or the like against which you are strongly prejudiced, and why?

“Democrats. They seem to want to give people stuff they don’t work for. Mexicans, Blacks, Jewish people, Scientists, Seamstresses, the list goes on really…â€Â

What is your favourite food?

“Beerâ€Â

What is your favourite drink?

“Beerâ€Â

What is your favourite treat (desert)?

“Dessert Beerâ€Â

Do you favour a particular cuisine?

“Gourmet Beerâ€Â

Do you savor the tastes when eating or "wolf down" your food?

“The only thing I like to savor is my women.â€Â

Do you like food mild or heavily spiced?

“Hot sauce. Lots of hot sauce.â€Â

Are there any specific foodstuffs that you find disgusting or refuse to eat?

“Vegetables. Especially brussel sproutsâ€Â

What are your favourite colour(s)?

“Red, White, and Blue, baby!â€Â

Is there any colour that you dislike?

“Pink. Unless I’m in the pink.â€Â

Do you have a favourite (or hated) song, type of music, or instrument?

“I am a hard rock guyâ€Â

If you have a favourite scent, what is it?

“Chicksâ€Â

What is your favourite type of animal?

“Asian Chicksâ€Â

Are you allergic to any kinds of animals?

“Fat Chicksâ€Â

Is there anything that enrages you?

“Ugly Chicksâ€Â

Is there anything which embarrasses you?

“Really ugly chicks!â€Â

Do you enjoy "roughing it", or do you prefer your creature comforts?

“Hell no! I can’t spend a single night away from my water bed, if you know what I mean.â€Â

Do you have a patron deity?

“Meâ€Â

Are you devout or impious?

“Extremely Devoutâ€Â

Do you actively worship and proselytize or do you simply pay lip service?

“oh I worship myself. I make my women pay lip service.â€Â

What lengths would you go to defend your faith?

“I’d kill for it.â€Â

Was your faith influenced or molded by anyone special?

“Me, being so awesomeâ€Â

Do you belong to a dominant church, or an independent church, cult, or sect (and is the group accepted, frowned upon, or considered heretics)?

“Well I actually run my own cult of Captain worshipers.â€Â

Will you kill?

“oh yea.â€Â

When did you decide (or learn) that you would?

“Oh I always knew.â€Â

When do you consider it okay to kill (under what circumstances)?

“Anytime someone annoys me really.â€Â

When do you consider it wrong to kill (under what circumstances)?

“I try to avoid killing women (unless they are fat or ugly, then I don’t care.)â€Â

What would you do if someone else attempted to (or successfully did) kill under your "wrong" circumstances, what would be your reaction?

“I would probably kill themâ€Â

What if it were your enemy?

“I would kill them harder!â€Â

What if it were your friend?

“A severe maiming would probably be in order.â€Â

What if the opponent were not in control of their own actions (under duress, charmed, dominated, possessed)?

“I would probably maim them, force them to tell me who was controlling them, and then kill that person. then I would go back and kill the first guy just for all the trouble he caused me.â€Â

What would you do if something were stolen from you?

“Kill somebody, then go find who took it and kill them too.â€Â

What would you do if you were badly insulted publicly?

“Besides the fact that it is impossible to make any insults stick to me, since I am so perfect after all, I would probably kill whoever tried it.â€Â

What would you do if a good friend or relative were killed by means other than natural death?

“You seem to not understand that I don’t really care about anyone but myselfâ€Â

What is the one task you would absolutely refuse to do?

“gaze upon an ugly personâ€Â

What do you consider to be the worst crime someone could commit and why?

“probably causing me any sort of injury that might permanently deface my looksâ€Â

How do you feel about government (rulers) in general? Why do you feel that way?

“They suck! Cuz they are not me!â€Â

Do you support the current government of your homeland?

“see above, I live here, stupidâ€Â

If so, how far are you willing to go to defend the government? If not, do you actively oppose it?

N/A

What form of government do you believe is the best (democracy, monarchy, anarchy, aristocratic rule, oligarchy, matriarchy) and why?

“Totalitarian Monarchy. With me on top, naturallyâ€Â

Do you have any unusual habits or dominant personality traits that are evident to others?

“my stunning good looksâ€Â

If so, describe them and how you acquired them, as well as when they might be more noticeable and what causes them.

“I was born with them, stupidâ€Â

Do you have any unusual or nervous mannerisms, such as when talking, thinking, afraid, under stress, or when embarrassed?

“I require that everyone pay attention to me at all timesâ€Â

What is your most treasured possession?

“my good looksâ€Â

If your life were to end in 24 hours, what 5 things would you do in those remaining hours?

“You mean besides five women at the same time?â€Â

Career & Training

Where and how were you educated?

“Elementary my dear Watson!â€Â

Who trained you in your adventuring class(es)?

“no one important. (because they are not me!)â€Â

What was your relationship with your teacher(s)/mentor(s)?

“Ha! I dropped those rocks as soon as I couldâ€Â

Is this person or institution still in existence?

“Do you really think that matters to me?â€Â

Were you a prize student or did you just barely pass?

“I barely passed. school never mattered to me.â€Â

Look at your skills. How did you acquire them (especially the unusual ones)?

“Constant training. Really that’s all.â€Â

Have you ever done anything else for a living?

“I am really not at liberty to discuss that. my alter ego does. but I can’t say anything about that.â€Â

How do you function in combat (maneuvers, weaknesses)?

“Well I usually like to pound the crap out of people. A little scare tactics here and there never hurts.â€Â

Have you ever received any awards or honours?

“Nope!â€Â

Is there anything that you don't currently know how to do that you wish you could?

“Being as perfect as I am, no, nothing.â€Â

Are you envious of others who can do such things in a good-natured way or are you sullen and morose about it?

“I really don’t care about those guys. “

Lifestyle & Hobbies

When not adventuring, what is your normal daily routine?

“Banging hot chicks.â€Â

How do you feel and react when this routine is interrupted for some reason?

“Well, I usually throw a hissy fit. What do you think?â€Â

What are your hobbies when you are not adventuring or training?

“Well, I usually spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror.â€Â

What do you do for relaxation? What things do you do for enjoyment? What interests do you have?

“Banging hot chicks, banging hot chicks, and let me see… banging hot chicks.â€Â

How do you normally dress when not in your adventuring gear?

“One of those play boy bathrobesâ€Â

What do you normally wear in bed at home?

“Nothingâ€Â

What do you normally wear in bed while adventuring?

“Nothing†With a big smile. *SHEEN*

Do you wear any identifiable jewelry?

“No jewelry could do me justiceâ€Â

Where do you normally put your weapons, magic items, or other valuables when you are sleeping?

“Well, besides the adrenaline cannon which is mounted on my arm, I don’t need any weapons.â€Â

What morning or evening routines do you normally have?

“That’s pretty much it. looking at myself in the mirror and all.â€Â

Do these change when you are adventuring?

“No. I am a pretty reliable person.â€Â

Travel: how do you get around locally?

“I take a sports car usuallyâ€Â

Do you have a Last Will and Testament?

“No, I don’t plan on dying any time soon.â€Â

What does it say?

N/A

Miscellaneous

What would you like to be remembered for after your death?

“My enormous contributions to all parts of society. And by that I of course means all of my crazy awesome deeds.â€Â

What kind of threat do you present to the public?

“Just the fact that I am completely and totally reckless. Note to self: Warn people not to get in my way.â€Â

If your features were to be destroyed beyond recognition, is there any other way of identifying your body?

“My huge… well you get the idea.â€Â

As a player, if you could, what advice would you give your character? Speak as if he/she were sitting right here in front of you. Use proper tone so they might heed your advice...

“Stop being such a womanizer, you jerk!†XD

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Good god, that interview was quite the workout. the captain reclined in a chair on the deck with a tom collins in his hand.

thank god i have my yacht *HONK* to ... relax on.....

the captain swiveled his head around to face down the deck

Hey Cappy! he called to the captain How come you honk that horn each time i mention the yacht? *HONKHONK*

"What are you talking about? thats why you hired me to do!"

Oh yea...! Carry on then... The captain proceeded to sip at his drink and enjoy the good life...

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The captain delivered a thunderous punch to the man's face, leaving him bloodied and panting on the ground. Then he walked to the door and said Try anything funny and i WILL be back for you.

_____________________________________

30 minutes earlier!

The captain waited silently in the man's armchair. He knew who the guy was, he had been watching him for a while. the captain's recent stint with the mechanical terror malice had inspired him. He wanted to get back to hunting meta-humans, he had gone too long and been too lax about it. it was time to get started again.

Before long, the captain heard the key in the lock. Why the man was using a key when he was able to simply walk through walls was beyond the captain, but he waited for the man to unlock his door anyway.

The lights were off when the man entered his home. He walked past the captain without even noticing him. The captain flipped on the light.

The man was startled. That was good, he was already afraid, the captain thought. Rising up from his chair, the captain approached the man.

"Who are you?"

I am your worst nightmare!

- - -

a period of pummeling and intimidation followed. The captain got the man to agree never to use his powers again. If he so much as caught the man reaching through a cabinet door for a snack, the captain would end him. Superpowers are wrong the captain said I don't ever want to see you use yours again.

"Fine, okay, whatever! i won't do it! just don't hit me again!"

The captain delivered a thunderous punch to the man's face, leaving him bloodied and panting on the ground. Then he walked to the door and said Try anything funny and i WILL be back for you.

And with that the captain kicked down the man's front door and walked off into the night.

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There were more superhero's crawling all over this town than the captain cared to acknowledge...How could he be expected to clean up the city all by himself? It seemed like every time he turned around, there was another god-forsaken-mutant staring him in the face.

Jeez! where do these things come from? They are like rabbits! He said as he tossed another unconscious teenager with superpowers into a dumpster. The captain wasn't sure if he was alive or dead. He didn't care either. But there was another one, right there at the end of the alley. And to make matters worse, it looked like the kid had seen him.

Tears in his eyes, the Kid suddenly flew at the captain and plowed into him. The blow drove the captain back several feet, but he was still standing, and still holding onto the kid.

Glad to see you're so damn affectionate, kid. Makes my job easier. The captain brought his elbow down on the back of the kid's head.

A few seconds later, the captain tossed another unconscious body into the dumpster. ****-ing rabbits... he stalked out of the alleyway. I am gonna need help cleaning up this city...Looks like it's time to make a call...

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Taylor let the bar slam to the ground after his 15th rep. He had destroyed the previous competitor's score at 11 reps. YEA! he roared, arms in the air. He was ready to celebrate. He had just won yet another Freedom City Power lifting competition. His trainer threw a robe over his shoulders and led him down from the stage. The crowd was going wild. They always love me He said with a smug smile.

Taylor disappeared into his private dressing room. Inside was everything he needed. Hot tub and all. This stadium loved him. There were even a few girls that waited for him to finish with his competition and massage his muscles. bathing suits and all.

Taylor's smug smile got wider as he closed the door behind them. Ladies? he began, and they cooed at him lovingly.

Here he was a god.

Here he was trapped.

The dressing room was good, but he longed to be back on the rooftops jumping the gaps between roofs created by alleyways. He longed to break another superhuman nose. What he wanted was to be the captain again.

But the captain would have to wait. He had to save face as Taylor Rogers, or his super villain shin-dig would never work out. Time to suck it up and get this over with. he thought. Taylor crossed the room, disrobed, and stepped into the hot tub with his female companions. As he sunk beneath the soothing hot water he felt nothing but bemused This ain't so bad he thought.

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For a while it had been business as unusual. The captain had been taking some time off. for now, it was just taylor rogers spending some me time.

I guess this is cool, i can have fun like this too. taylor thought as he sat at the table. I'll raise you 50.

Taylor was having his friends over for a game of poker. He didn't do it often but it was fun for time to time. Maybe after this he would get back to the wild world of super villainy. maybe.

You know, i don't even know why i am here Taylor thought to himself. I have enough money, don't i? why do i need to take these guy's money?

The end of the night came and finally Taylor was done. He could kick those guys out, and get some sleep. Tomorrow, he would get back to being the man he truly wanted to be. Captain Knievel. I can get back to being myself. I have had ENOUGH of this boring normal life crap!

Tomorrow I am me again!

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Channel 8 news at 10:

Captain Knievel has been missing lately, who knows what he has been off doing, but he is back for sure now, and with some new build boards to boot!

Captain Knievel WNATS YOU! to work hard!

Captain Knievel Does not like a Slacker!

Captain Knievel is The New Way!

Taste the Captain Knievel*

*certain citizens attest to the wonderful flavor

Captain Knievel does NOT need mutant powers to be this awesome!

Double the Pleasure! Substitute The Captain for your usual dose of mutant powers!

New! Captain Knievel-O's! Hey kids, can you solve the puzzles on the back of the box!

Captain Knievel Supports Lowering Property Taxes!

Most of these build boards show the Captain giving his famous smile, or even a thumbs up! what a sight to see folks!

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Alright, time to get back on the street. But i am going to need to do a few things first... The captain was in the penthouse suite of Taylor Rogers. He pulled the Adrenaline Cannon off of his right arm. This thing has been a little unstable lately, and i need to get it taken care of. Problem is, if i show this to somebody at an electronics store, bad things might happen. The captain began dismantling the pieces of his cannon. Only a select few of the components actually were having problems. They seemed to be discharging a small bit of electricity when jostled by concussive force. The Captain stripped off all of the excessive components. He isolated all of the components that were malfunctioning.

Now THIS I can get looked at.

-----------------------

The next day, Taylor Rogers was at the gym. He was with his physical trainer. His trainer was having him do his normal workout. But Taylor just was not into it that day.

Hey, Mac, Taylor said as he let the power cleans bar slam to the ground. I think I am capping out. I really think we need to start me on some heavier stuff.

"What did you have in mind, Mr. Rogers?"

That. Taylor said, Pointing outside into the parking lot at his trainer's Dodge Charger.

-------------------------

That night, Taylor returned to his penthouse suite, Sweaty and tired from his workout during the day. He threw a bag of things onto the table, and then drew a black case out of his duffel. He opened the case and inside found an assortment of shiny metal pieces laid out on the foam lining of the case. Taking each one out separately, he smacked it repeatedly against his hand. Oh Good, no sparks. He said, after the last one had been tested.

He drew the bag of things that he had left on the table towards him. From inside he withdrew a brand new speed bag. He smiled, stood up from his seat at the table, took up the speed bag and his black case. He strode into the wreck room of his penthouse suite. He found a good spot to set up the speed bag, and did so. For twenty minutes he practiced on it, throwing punches at increasing speed. It's a good thing that I didn't shower yet, he thought as the sweat began to pour down his face. This is a good workout.. After the twenty minutes were over, Taylor took a quick break for a drink, and sat down to assemble his Adrenaline Cannon once more. After the pieces were all back together, he slipped the assembly onto his arm. He stood, and approached the speed bag once more. Winding up he threw a solid punch with the arm that had the cannon mounted on it. *WHAMthudthudthudthudthud-thud--thud---thud* went the speed bag. Perfect. No sparks. said Taylor.

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It had been a while since any work had been done on his Adrenaline Cannon. The Captain was rather thankful to have a new toy. He felt like a kid at Christmas. Up on the rooftops, a safe distance away from the penthouse suite belonging to Taylor Rogers, he was practicing getting used to his 'new toy'

"Alright, I think I have gotten pretty used to the maximum distance most of these attacks will reach out to." He said, after practicing scorching a wall with fire blasts for the last few minutes, "Now I really need to work on getting used to that pressurized air blast thingy. That thing wouldn't hit worth a damn in my fight against Malice."

Captain Knievel approached the water tower on top of the building. He pressed the button on his fingertip to switch the Cannon to the appropriate mode. A sensor opened up on top of the Cannon mounted on his forearm. He pointed it in the general direction of the water tower. A split second later, there was a short series of beeps, and the device on his arm began to pull his arm seemingly by itself towards a particularly rickety looking board supporting the water tower.

"Well that sure is interesting. Guess this thing really guides itself. Maybe I should stop muscling through my attacks with this function and just let the Cannon do the work." Captain Knievel tried it. He threw the laziest punch he ever had towards the water tower. Sure enough, the device on his arm pulled it into position. The blast of air leaped out of his hand and took out the board. The water tower then proceeded to tip over, falling towards the street.

"Awesome," said Captain Knievel, to no one in particular. He then promptly turned and ran in the other direction. A satisfying crash and a few screams wafted up from the streets. Captain Knievel smiled a satisfied smile as he ran.

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Captain Knievel sat in the dark, brooding...

I can't believe they actually got me.... He slammed one fist into another creating a dull packing sound.

I never thought it was possible... But they actually got me. He let his head fall into his hands.

I'll get them for this. Every last one of them. Starting with that bow-wielding freak and his arrows... Captain Knievel raised his head. The look of sheer determination spread across his face was plain to see...

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March 24, 2009: Freedom City Jail

Captain Knievel paced his cell. It was the day after he had been locked up. Between all of the hurried meetings with his attorney he had plenty of time to think in that cramped cell of his.

I still really can't believe they caught me. I thought I was golden when I managed to blast off with my adrenaline cannon. He thought. Captain Knievel unconsciously rubbed his right forearm. When he had been booked they had taken everything from him. The Adrenaline Cannon had been the first thing to go. They had stripped him of it while he was still unconscious even. They had stripped him of the few gadgets he had on his person, including his armor. They even had the gall to take his sunglasses away. Friggen pigs... I am gonna make them pay for this. Soon as I get the chance, I am going to ruin as many cops as I can...

Captain Knievel flopped onto the meager little cot the had given him. With his hands behind his head he stared up at the ceiling. "I almost can't believe that I am putting up with this good behavior crap that my attorney recommended." He said to no one in particular. Soon as I get out of here, I am going to rub this in all of their faces. I am going to be all over the news blowing up as much stuff as possible. And I AM getting out. Don't you worry! Some thoughts were better kept to oneself...

Smoothing out his orange jumpsuit reminded him briefly of all the great stuff he used to have. A penthouse... A yacht *HONK* Tons of money...Sports cars...All of it was gone now. His attorney had filled him in about the fact that all of his bank accounts had been frozen, and he sponsorships for weight lifting had all been revoked. Not that it matters right now, I've been remanded without bail. But soon as I get out things are going to be pretty rough for a while. I'm going to have to find some place to live and lay low now that I lost that penthouse. I am also going to have to find some way to friggen eat! The expression on his face soured at the thoughts of his grim future. At least I know that every sandwich that I steal is going to come out of the city's tab...And to think. I used to love this City.

A simple thought quickly occurred to Captain Knievel. You know what? I don't think I actually ever DID love this city! From the day I have moved here, I have basically done everything I can to tear down the established order, and the Mutants that run this place. Captain Knievel sat up on the cot and swung his legs over the side. He rested his chin on his fist, and sighed.

"Least it was fun while it lasted..." Captain Knievel eagerly awaited the day he would break out of prison like a kid at Christmas time...

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March 24, 2009

Many seedy things went down in the Freedom City jailhouse at night. The guards were usually too busy sleeping. Although Captain Knievel was under pretty heavy lock down, he did have some contact with other prisoners.

That night while the guard was sleeping down the end of the row, One of the prisoners in the cell next to him got his attention.

"Psst!" he hissed. "Your that Knievel dude, right?"

"Yea. So? Who's asking?"

"Listen... You used to be a muscle man right? I got contacts on the outside... You want a hit of this?" the man held out a syringe through the bars.

"What is it?"

"Its this special drug. It'll make you stronger. I can't do anymore, I've done too much of the stuff tonight already. The guards will find it tomorrow and I figure I don't want it going to waste."

Captain Knievel had never touched steroids once in his long career as a weight lifter. It had all been training and hard work. But that career was over now. Taylor Rogers didn't matter anymore. There was only Captain Knievel. If there was a way to make him better, then so be it. To win wars you have to be willing to make a few sacrifices right? What were a few morals in the grand scheme of things? "Yea, alright. Gimmie that thing." The Captain snatched up the needle and jammed it into his forearm...

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March 25, 2009

It was the morning of Captain Knievel's trial. It was his big day. Today was the day that he planned to make a mockery of Freedom City's court system. If only none of those pesky heroes get in my way this time... he brooded in his cell.

He was visited early in the morning by a frazzled Ace Wright, his attorney. "Okay, Captain, let's talk shop here." The lawyer had obviously been working with little sleep lately. There were only a few hours left before the trial. Captain Knievel hoped he would have time to recover before the actual trial. But first things first.

"I am going to need better clothes to wear." Captain Knievel said, gesturing at his orange jumpsuit. "Think you can swing a suit? Or maybe even a tux?"

"Your behavior has been pretty good in here. I think I can probably get them to agree to that. I HAVE done everything I can for you in this trial, but admittedly, there is still a pretty good chance that today will be the last day that you get to wear anything nicer than that jumpsuit. Maybe they will take mer...*URK*" Captain Knievel had grabbed the man by the throat suddenly, stopping him mid-sentence.

"Listen. If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times. You don't talk about losing. With Captain Knievel there is only triumph!" with that he promptly released his attorney.

"*cough* Ahem! *cough*" Ace choked on his own breath for a moment. "Right sorry. You know you really are lucky that I have stuck around for this thing, Ace said, stepping away from the bars and hopefully out of The Captain's reach, "Other attorneys would probably have left your ass high and dry by now." Captain Knievel was visibly upset by this, but he couldn't very well do anything about it while behind bars. This guy really has a way with words. he mused.

"Now we need to get down to business. We have a lot of details to flatten out before the trial, and I still have to go clean myself up and get you that tux. Ace ran a hand through his horribly frazzled hair. "Now here is what I want you to do..."

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September 10, 2009

*whiiiiirrrrrr* The mechanical whizzing of the elevator was a satisfying sound. One he hadn't heard for quite sometime.

It's good to finally be going up again... Captain Knievel thought to himself.

The underground bunker that he had spent the months after the trial in had been quite lonely. But at least he had been away from those damned meta-humans. He also knew that a few months of self isolation was very much preferable to the possibility of life in prison.

At long last I can return to my kingdom. The place that I deserve to rule. Not those damned FREAKS!

To say that the isolation had done wonders for his sanity would would be the understatement of a century. But it had taught Knievel a few things. If he were to accomplish his goals in the future, he would need to be more careful. He would need to be willing to make sacrifices. I've got to make sure that I think things through this time.

*whiiiiirrr-click!*

The buzzing stopped. The elevator had reached the top floor. Captain Knievel stepped forward. "Keyword: Funchameleon" Suddenly dim green lighting of his bunker's antechamber flicked on. There wasn't much purpose to this room. It was simply the surface access to the bunker that he had concealed below. It had taken the last scrap of his money and those contacts that still remained to him in the days after the trial to pull it together, but the important part was that he had it. The other important part was that no one knew where it was. He had made sure of that.

He stepped forward towards the dimly lit keypad. The door to the outside world locked from the inside for obvious reasons. He punched in the access code. A number he had committed to memory within seconds of entering for the first time.

On the outside in the middle of the old abandoned train yard, the door to one of the rusty old shipping containers creaked open. The door faced the back of another set of containers. There was scarcely a foot and a half of clearance between the other row. It meant that discovering the entrance to this bunker would be nigh impossible.

As he opened the door, the sunlight poured in. It's rays were like daggers in The Captain's eyes. They hurt more than any energy blast Dark Star had ever thrown at him. For months he had seen nothing but artificial lighting. The natural light of the sun was a shock, but it was something that he would have to deal with. "@#$% It's daytime!" Even his voice felt strange. He hadn't remember the last time he had needed to use it. "I can't walk out of here in daylight... I could risk someone seeing me. I can't have that." Captain Knievel re-sealed the door and entered the access code once more. He stepped off to the side away from the door. Time to give this puppy a try. He said raising his wrist he punched a few buttons on the wristwatch he wore on his left arm.

Seconds later he stood on top of a skyscraper in center city Freedom. It was one that had a good view of the place where his old penthouse suite used to be. Wonderful He thought as he looked at how the hotel had already rented it out to another party. While he was sad to see it go, he was happy to see that the hotel once again had control over the penthouse. It meant that the police were no longer searching it. Which meant they had all but stopped looking for him. Months ago he would have stormed into the place and reclaimed the things that had belonged to him, but not anymore. He found that he didn't even WANT those things. They were a part of him that was no more. They had belonged to Taylor, not to Knievel.

He took a deep, rewarding, satisfying breath. "Beware, Freedom City, Beware. I have returned!"

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The Confinement Chronicles: Chapter 1

March 26th, 2009

Captain Knievel sat at the computer in his new hideout. Having just arrived for a indeterminable amount of time to let the heat blow over, he decided to keep a log of his stay in his yet unnamed hideout. He booted up the computer's logging system.

***Computer Log: Start***

I've just arrived at my new hideout. I don't even have a name for it yet. It's likely that I will be having to spend quite some time here. My initial thoughts after getting over the outrage of having to hide like a rat in this hole, were about my sanity. If I am to spend months here by myself, I must somehow ensure that I do not go stir crazy. This log will be my attempt to catalog my time here, as well as to keep insanity at bay. I still have to set up the rest of the components of this base. So that is all for today. I will log on later with more.

***Computer Log: End***

March 27th, 2009

***Computer Log: Start***

This is my second day in 'The Hole' as I have come to call it. All of the components of this base are now functional. If I were a nerd there would be a pun there. God I miss nerds. They beat up so well... Sorry. Got a little wistful for a moment there. I gotta keep myself from doing that. That's how the problems begin. Anyways, I have spent my first day setting up here. I plan to spend today working out. Unfortunately, it seems like that will be taking up a large chunk of my schedule most of the days down here. It's not like I have much human interaction to take it's place. Oh well. Not like many of the people in the world are really that worth talking to anyhow. Alright, time for my sixteen mile run. More tomorrow.

***Computer Log: End***

March 28th, 2009

***Computer Log: Start***

Day three in the Hole. Living here just shows how badly adjusted I am. Either that or how well adjusted I was to high society. It seems that somewhere between being outraged over my predicament and trying to exercise it off, I forgot to eat. On my way to the gym this morning I collapsed. It was only after I groggily came to that I realized my stomach wasn't hurting from too many crunches the day before. It was lack of food. Don't worry, it get's worse. I head to the cupboard thinking of steak and eggs. I found canned beans. Lots of them. This is going to be a long couple of months, computer.

***Computer Log: End***

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March 29, 2009

***Computer Log: Start***

I was horrified when I turned on the news today. DAMNIT!!! I can't believe they caught him! If there was anyone that I thought would never get caught, it was him. Damnit, Malice, what the hell happened. You were so careful with your plans and yet somehow you get nabbed just as easily as I do. I swear... When I find the guy that did this, I am going to strangle him to death!

Just for the record, awesome speech you gave, pal. You really put that Bastard Dark Star in his place. I hope he goes loopy over that for months. In fact, I hope he never comes back! Lord knows the City could deal without having THAT mutant on board.

This certainly puts a wrench in my plans. I really was counting on you being there once I was able to come topside. I was going to need to contacts and the cash you could provide. But now...Well lets just say that things are going to be quite a bit more difficult once I finally do go topside.

Damnit, Malice! DAMNIT!!!

***Computer Log: End***

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April 5, 2009:

***Computer Log: Start***

"Damnit, Malice! Turns out you got in my head after all. It's been a week since you were put away, and I still have not heard anything. No phone call, no radio signal, no Christmas card...No nothing!

Problem is, I keep seeing you around here. I keep seeing you telling me, 'You're doing it wrong!' Well, I guess I can thank you. You gave me a good work ethic, but you're driving me bonkers, man!

I can't believe it hasn't even been two weeks and I'm already losing my head. I gotta find something to keep me sane down here."

***Computer Log: End***

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April 12, 2009

***Computer Log: Start***

I've spent yet another week now, trapped in this hole. I don't do anything down here except work out, eat, and try and keep up with the news. I give myself another few days before I start writing on the walls in blood. My blood. No! I can't think like that. Or maybe I should. What was that book called? Catch 22? Not that I read it, but the concept was something along the lines of: "The guy who thinks he is crazy, is most definitely not crazy." Maybe I should start thinking like that...

Things are going to be much harder when I get back out. I'm going to have to rebuild what was once an empire brick by brick. I plan on starting small. After all, I don't want those damn Knights to know I'm back in town right away. Though if I get a shot at them, I am most definitely going to take it. Archeville, Arrowhawk, and Dark Star especially. That Danger fellow is lower on my list, but only because I'm pretty sure I can take him out any time I want to. @#$% Look at me rambling again... More later...

***Computer Log: End***

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