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Never Be Satisfied


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Spring 2022

 

Eira spent an unusual amount of time crafting this message - the twenty or thirty minutes she'd spent on it had been nearly an eternity for an artificial mind such as her own. Various versions of it were going out to certain people, albeit with certain edits. The gist of the final paragraph was this: 

 

"So anyway - it should not be surprising that a mind like mine would experience emotional upheaval in a child's form, having by then rapidly moved beyond such things given my rapid development. I would not claim dysmorphia for myself - I am Swedish, not English - but surely it is an inevitable consequence of uploading such as mine. Naturally even with an artificial brain, some emotional control would be compromised. Since uploading into my adult body I have had a chance to think more carefully. I have been reviewing my past conversations with you-" which was easy enough since she had perfect recall of all of them, in all forms, and would until she chose to delete them, died, or the stars went out - "and I at times allowed the anger I was feeling at myself to speak instead of my real feelings for you. You are my friend. If I ever gave you cause to think otherwise, I apologize. Yours, Eira Katastroff Natt och Dag." 

 

When the message was done, edited for its various receivers, she sent it out with a nod - and then with a sigh, raised her eye protection and reactivated the plasma torch. This probe wasn't going to cut itself open; and maybe today she didn't want to see her messages right as they came in. She signaled the player in the room to get back to Deceiver "louder!" and smiled as plasma hit super-tough metal. 

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