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Cheese? All of this, a gateway to another realm, accidentally summoning Pan, attacking Penny and Oz with a chess golem (also by accident, it seemed), all of it just because of cheese?

 

"Cheese? You're doing all this for cheese?" He paused but briefly, shooting an incredulous look at Penny, then at Oz. "And you want a body of cheese?"

 

Pan could follow quite a bit. He had his share of adventures, he had seen much weird and strange, but this? Cheese? This was a bit much. Just... Cheese?

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GM

 

"I'm doing it to regain my form!" corrected Lorenzo, sticking a finger up in the air to emphasise his point. "And the best way I can do that is fungus! More precisely, the fungus that lives in cheese!" he said, patiently. 

 

Penny squirmed her mouth and put finger to lips, thinking on the matter. "Well, if the Puzzle Box brought me here I think there is a puzzle to solved. There always is. Admittedly, its the first time it has directed me to anything related to cheese" she conceded. 

 

"Excellent! The first journey is always the most jovial!" commented Lorenzo. 

 

"I don't know much about the fae realms. But what he says does kind of make some kind of almost sense" said Penny. "They are bristling with life. They might have the key to restoring his body. They might...."

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"the golden ratio is the key my friends...the golden ratio is the key!" Oz interjected as he used the said ratio spiral to calculate the relative positions of the realms along the cosmic coil furiously transmuting the circle one step at a time as he danced around it like a frenzied if portly imp chattering about arithmantic principles to himself as much as to Lorenzo and the others.

 

"Tiny tiny errors." He mused as he tapped away with his umbrella pointing to various points in the circles construction "made a siphon! Pulled things in rather than a vortex to travel through!," He explained "yes yes, a backflow, the fae realm was too thaumaturgically dense to be pulled in so it grabbed the nearest source of Fae magic instead! Sympathetic ressonance you see? A bird of the feather rather than the flock." He explained as he finished up and dabbed at his brow

 

"Like reversing a rite to summon death in hopes of banishing it instead sending the caster to the realm of the dead!"

Edited by Exaccus

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GM

 

"A yes! La razione d'oro of course, of course! I totally understand you!" bluffed the Black Rose. 

 

"It is so nice to speak to one who is nearly my equal!" he congratulated Oz. Sort of. 

 

He cracked his creaking leather gloves. Presumably there were no bones underneath, just that same orange vapour, but one never could tell. 

 

"Well then, sir! I would be delighted for you to witness my extraordinary achievement...the summoning of a gate to the wild fae realms!"

 

Before waiting for approval, or dissent, or any other interjection, he mumbled some latin phrase about pixies and cheese and mushrooms, and, lo!

 

A portal appeared!

 

It was a wibbly wobbly sphere of several dimensions, and inside one could smell rainbows and see sweet fragrances. And then, in a wibbly wobbly mess, the portal exploded!

 

"An almost perfect success!" declared Lorenzo. 

 

He stood in a vibrant forest full of colour. And he stood with Penny Coin, Neverboy, and Oz....

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"Yes, yes, body restored, but... He would still be in a cheese body." Pan was obviously not a big fan of the idea. Not that he had anything against cheese, but not as somebody's body.

 

And then, Lorenzo went to work, everything changed and they stood in a vibrant forest. It was... strange. It felt almost like home. It looked almost like home. But the smell was off, was it not? This was not Neverworld. Perhaps it was the Fea Realms, as Lorenzo had hoped. He was not too fond of having been moved to another location against his will, or at least without asking, twice in one day. The last time, he had ended up on Earth, and he was starting to fit in here. He had plenty of friends. And now he was in another world again, without even being asked properly? No, he did not like that.

 

In a flush of golden glitter, he was by Lorenzo, right up in his face, or what passed for his face, anyway. "Who said you could take us along?" There was an underlying anger to his tone. It was as much a statement of his feelings on the matter, as it was a question.

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GM

 

"Why, so I did not sir! I assumed that you would be delighted with such an adventure? And to such a lively, splendid place! Look at the colours, sir! Why, I have no nostrils nor nose, and yet so magnificently repslendent be the land around us that even I can conjure up the fragrances to my mind's eye! Or, in this case, my mind's nose!"

 

It was indeed colourful, and rather fragrant, in a rather sickly sweet way. Like an apple that was just starting to rot. 

 

"Would you care to return to the mundane world? Why you only need to step through the portal which is just over...oh...its gone...."

 

He looked a bit shocked, a bit sad, a bit scared!

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"Oh yes the coil is constantly in motion, the portals do not last indefinately." Oz piped up "if it were set there'd be no need to calculate as i do." He added.

 

"Tis a relatively simple matter to open another home when we're all said and done...but yes it is a rather splendid place to visit." OZ Sighed contently "remember this is the home of the fae, tread cautiously and with respect, remember they are nothing if not courtly in their ways." He added as he stooped to sniff at some flowers that caught his interest.

 

They were also quite vain and playful, capable of callousness devoid of malice as only amoral immortal beings of mirth and mercurial nature could be but there was no need to bring that up.

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GM

 

"Yes yes, of course! I knew that, of course!" said the Black Rose, as he surveyed the Fae Realms. 

 

"Now, dear ladies and gentlemen and you" he started, nodding at Neverboy for the latter "this realm is where I have determined the best chance of locating the best fungus is. And more so, I hope that we have arrived at the area of this realm which has the greatest concentration of fungus!"

 

There were indeed some very colourful mushrooms to be seen scattered around some nearby trees. Some where as small as a button, and one was as tall as a man. 

 

"There! Hmmm....I wonder if these would do?" he pondered, putting leather finger to the place in his glass fishbowl helm where his chin was approximately located. 

 

"Would any of you care to eat them to determine if they are poisonous?" he said cheerfully. "I am afraid I have no sense of smell. Or indeed a functionoing gastic system...alas!"

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Adventure, yes. But an adventure for cheese? Pan did not like that at all, no. The Fae realms were indeed vibrant, they were indeed an adventure, but he did not like the idea of this adventure on Lorenzo's terms. He had already proved to be strange, and quick to take hostile actions, after all.

 

With a loud sigh, he flew away from Lorenzo, instead hovering by Penny. Fine, he was here, but he was not going to act like he liked it. Being pulled between worlds against his will was not something he cared to repeat. He frowned at the mention of the poison mushrooms. Sure, try to eat something you knew nothing about, and from a Fae realm. Absolutely brilliant idea. "Please, would anyone like to tell me a bit more about the Pixies and other Fae, or just about this realm? It is quite different from the Pixies back home." Some knowledge would do, yes. It would help, at least.

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"the fair folk are very emotional beings...they change like the sea and the seasons with such rapidness and ease that it catches many off guard." Oz began "Playful and curious beings but they have a grasp of morality and philosophy that we mere mortals tend to struggle with." He rubbed his chin as he pondered how to get his point across without offending any of the Fae who might be overhearing him.

 

"They have difficulty empathizing with humans as they are whimsically detached from notions that tend to bog us down; like time, entropy, death." He added "causality, logic, reasoning." purely emotional beings." He again emphasized his next words "they do not suffer rudeness or trespass it is considered prudent to come bearing a gift and a means of defending one's self...though their powers are bound into narratives they themselves concoct; the origin of the term fairy tales if I recall."

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GM

 

"You seem to know a lot about the Fae!" came a squeaky voice. 

 

There were a few of them. It was hard to tell, because they were clearly excellent at hiding. Stealthy, sneaky, and very small. 

 

Standing at a collosal six inches was their leader, a little fae creature with a bow, a green costume, and a tall hat that added an impressive extra inch to his stature. 

 

Quite fearless, he continued. 

 

"What are you doing here? This is wild lands, and dangerous! And you don't look like a fae. Except for you...a bit..." he added pointing at Penny Coin.

 

"Thanks! A bit!" said Penny, who wondered what sound the tiny sprite would make if she trod on him. 

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