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Mysterious Menagerie of Monsters


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GM

 

"SQUAWK!?" Barney let out a shocked yell at the sight of the clean plates. His small eyes blinked furiously, as he approached the plates and cups cautiously. He inspected them for but a moment, then turned to Oswald. "Thank you!" The sour tone from before had all but disappeared.

 

Charlemagne could but chuckle at his butler's reaction. Then he gestured for Oswald to follow. "So... is there any particular creatures that you are interested in, hm? Can just as well be the start of the tour, if it is something I have in my menagerie!"

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"I would rather like to hear more about this Cerberus creature you were telling me about, you do not perchance have one?" Oz asked humbley as he waddled along after Charlemagne

 

"If not I have quite an affection for equine, porcine or bovine creatures…grew up on a farm you see."

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GM

 

"Sadly, no! As much as I would like to, a Cereberus is indeed rare, and more often than not tasked with guarding powerful secrets! Even if I was powerful enough to do it, I could hardly take them away from such a charge, could I now?" There was some genuine sadness to Charlemagne's voice, but also admiration, as he led the way.

 

"Ah, farm animals you say? Why, I might have something just for you!" He led the way down a long hall. It was lined with pictures showcasing marvelous creatures of all kinds, and now, they came to one with very large pig. He gestured to the picture. "This, is one of the many, many spawn of Sæhrímnir. Much like its ancestor, it is a marvelous creature! Cut its flesh, and it grows back instantly! Cruel, you say! No, not at all! To the pig, it just tickles!" He looked triumphant, then gestured to the picture. On closer inspection, it actually seemed to move. "Come, come! I will introduce you!"

 

And with that, he stepped into the picture.

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  • 2 weeks later...

GM

 

OINK!

 

The sound was like thunder to Oswald's ears! A giant of pigs stood before him, its snout mere inches from his face. A laughing Charlemagne stood besides them, as they now found themselves in a giant pigsty, where the pig had frolicked mere moments before, fresh mud still clinging to its body. The sky above them was blue, without a single cloud to be seen, but Oz could not see any suns.

 

"Now, now, you must behave William. Mr. Oswald is a guest!" Charlemagne said, excitement in his voice as he brushed the giant pig's side.

Edited by RocketLord
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Oz was not easily startled of course but it had been nearly four decades since he'd last heard the gutteral grunting that and the sheer size of the pig was enough to remind Oz of his healthy respect for the noble pig for whilst he no longer felt fear he was quite well aquatinted with pain and would rather avoid offending the lordly porker.

 

"Ah a most noble name for a most noble animal! Only those who do not know pigs dare to mock them I have found." 

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GM

 

"Yes, yes! William is indeed a noble beast! Are you not, are you not?" Charlemagne was practically tickling the pig's side by now, letting William to release a few excited squeals, before it rolled over, falling into the mud with a thundering sound, dust and mud flying everywhere, the clothing of Charlemagne and Oswald catching the brunt of it.

 

As he cuddled the pig, Charlemagne produced a small knife, seemingly from nowhere. The pig let out excited squeals, like this was simply the best thing ever. "Would you care for a taste? It has been a while, after all, and William takes after his ancestor."


Then he drove the knife into the pig's belly, causing it to release more excited squeals that almost sounded like it was laughing.

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Oz was by no means squeamish he'd done worse things to malicious creatures, demons and interlopers though they were.

 

He watched with interest as Charlemagne worked his knife with practised precision.

 

"Truly facsinating! I cannot refuse such a offer, thank you my friend and you as well noble William." He said his excitement getting the better of him though still twinged with cautious respect he presented his hand to William before stroking it against his thick hide firmly and giving a few pat's.

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GM

 

The pig sqealed with delight at being thanked, as Charlemagne finished cutting the flesh. Almost as soon as the flesh had been cut free, it regrew, seemingly to no discomfort to the creature at all! With a happy oink, William moved to his mud and started rolling once more, while Charlemagne presented the meat to Oz.

 

"Fascinating creature, is he not?" he asked, while searching his pockets for something. Soon, he produced a small lighter and held it under the meat. With a flick, he turned it on. A bright green flame engulfed the meat for a brief second, then disappeared, leaving behind a perfectly cooked pig loin that Charlemagne happily offered to Oz. "Taste! It is truly divine!"

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  • 2 months later...

Oz was something of a gourmand, it was perhaps not his best kept secret but still.

 

He took his time to appreciate the golden brown colour and the faint scent of the seared pork before biting into it.

 

Truely it was divine! The meat pulled from the bone with the barest effort and practically melted in his mouth.

 

It took practically all of his restraint to put it though its full paces, chewing slowly and movig it around his mouth to avoid over saturating his tastebuds to better appreciate each of his thirty two chews before swallowing.

 

"Truely magnificent!" He sighed delightedly as he dabbed daintily at his lips with a purple silk hankercheif pulled from his pocket.

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  • 2 weeks later...

GM

 

Oz might be taking his time, but others were not. While Charlemagne was happily, and somewhat obviously, petting the pig, Oswald noticed something else. A shadow, a person kneeling in the distance, what appeared to be a rifle in his hands, raised and aimed towards Charlemagne, Oswald and the Pig. He could not quite make out the man's features. The sun was behind him, and he appeared as nothing but a silhouette against it, but even then, his intent was clear... and Oswald had but moments to act.

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And so he did without a blink of hesitation his hands moving as his fingers fell into over half a dozen arcane gestures, accompanied by the littany of incantations on his breath.

 

Sure enough the ambient thaumatons heeded his call even in this painted world and from nothing sprang a transluscent cube of emerald green force to encompass himself, william and Charlemagne  along with a good bit of the pen in its hardened walls.

 

The best he could do on a rush.

 

He dabbed at his brow with one of the clean corners of his hankerchief.

 

"It would appear we have an armed intruder."

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GM

 

*BANG!*

 

The sound was loud, and efficient. Even if Oswald had not called out the man's location, both Charlemagne and William would have noticed him by now. How had he entered the world of the painting? That remained a mystery. His intent, however, seem quite clear, the bullet flying straight towards William, with only Oswald's emerald cube standing in its way.

 

The pig squealed, quite loudly one might add. William was not happy with the prospect of being hunted, it seemed, and neither was Charlemagne, quickly diving to shield the pig with his own body. "A poacher!" Charlemagne almost snarled the word. "In my menagerie!"

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Oz moved calmly now that the immediate danger had passed, the Bulletwo having destroyed itself on his arcane barrier.

 

"Not for long my friend...not for long." He reassured as he stepped through the emerald wall like a thin sheet of water.

 

"As for you! I have questions; but nothing I need you concious for right now!" And with that he flung  his arms forth and from between his fingertips arched thick tendrils of green lightning towards the trespasser, slight flickers betraying the fact it was not one mighty bolt but several fired in rapid succession.

Edited by Exaccus
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GM

 

The man yelled, doing his best to evade, but failing, as the emerald lightning crackled around him, several blasts hitting him straight on and dancing over his body. He dropped to a knee, while letting out a loud curse. Now that he was not directly in the light, Oz could see that he wore a light brown armor, with padding at the chest, arms and legs. He wore a full face mask in the same color, with black goggles over his eyes and a gas mask over his mouth. His heavy boots had, somehow, not left any imprints in the ground. He was stunned for the moment, giving Oz another chance.

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So this poacher was tougher than he looked it seemed, or maybe his armour had something special about it?

 

All questions for a later time, right now there were more pressing issues, namely the extremely high calibre rifle they had.

 

That would simply not do, locking his gaze on it he whispered his words and wiggled his fingers attempting to turn gunmetal to striped peppermint candy.

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GM

 

Whatever Oz was trying, the poacher rolled to the side, avoiding his gaze and raising his rifle. He pulled the trigger, letting loose a loud BANG!, a high powered bullet being sent flying directly for the wizard. And then, before he could react, Oz would hear additional BANG!BANG!

 

Two more rifles fired. Two other poachers untangling themselves from bushes and trees near them, each clad like the first, wielding the same type of rifle. Another hit at Oz... and a bullet fired towards William. The pig whined loudly, while Charlemagne did his best to try and steer it towards the portal to his home that they had entered from.

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The cracks of bullet colliding with his forcefield had caught him completely unaware of his surroundings, the noise itself was jarring but the impacts were hard and fast, he felt his vision starting to swim and his legs beginning to bow a little so with his arms still raised at the encroaching hunters threatening a torrent of spell fire he retreated back within his emerald fortress to let his head clear.

 

"These.....are not normal poachers." He commented dizzy as he steadied himself on the sty.

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GM

 

Oz was certainly right. These were not ordinary poachers in any way. Rifles raised, the two near him remained silent as they fired at him once more, undeterred by the previous green lightning and the force field that protected him. The weapons remained loud. Noisy. If this had been the real world, their weapons would have echoed for miles. As it was, this little world inside the painting was not quite as big.

 

Another bullet bounced off William's hide, and with a loud *OINK!*, the pig decided to take action. While Charlemagne shouted for it to come back and flee, the pig instead charged straight at the poacher that had been shooting at it... though sadly passing by him, as he sidestepped. With another annoyed *OINK!*, William turned back, getting ready to charge again.

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Oz admired Williams courage silently in this situation, pigs were indeed noble animals, Williams refusal to be intimidated or bullied was proof enough of that.

 

"Once more with feeling!" Oz shouted to himself as he slammed his hands together and concentrated on spinning the than Thainstone between his palms into a frenzy a scarlet bead springing to life from the air and growing larger and.brighter as he pulled his hands apart to allow it.

 

Now the size of a cricket  ball a gentle push sent it racing out through the emerald barrier and to its target equidistant between the hunters to suddenly explode into racing red flames that danced around himself, his forcefield, charlemagne and William without so much as singing a hair on his chinny chin chin.

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GM

 

And it was with feeling, indeed. Even though his barrier had taken hits already, the red flames raced out far faster than the hunters could react. One of them shouted a loud curse, which was drowned out in the roar of the flames, trying to throw himself out of the way. It was to no avail. All three hunters were enveloped in the fiery explosion. The one that had first shot at William, fell in that very moment, while the others remained standing, their clothes burnt and smoking.

 

Or rather, they would have remained standing, but William had other ideas. Having avoided being seared, the mighty pig glared towards the nearest hunter, the one he had already tried attacking. With a loud *OINK!*, he let loose the war pig inside and charged straight at the unfortunate hunter. He barely had time to react before the full force of the mythic pig hammered into him, trampling him underneath its hooves. Stamping a few times on the knocked out hunter, seemingly just for the hell of it, William let out a very satisfied *OINK!*

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  • 1 month later...

two of three hunters were now down, the other was on his last legs, it seemed that the tide had turned dramatically and not least in part due to williams assistance but Oz was older and wiser than he had been in yester years he only knew of three enemies there could be many more waiting in the wings and powerful a mage as he might be he was but one man.

 

but no mere dabbler or conjurer of cheap tricks, a fully trained, combat hardened and veteran spell-caster of the highest order the imperial Arcanium of Oz had ever produced and a prodigy in his field of transmutation magic was his to command and as such he was never truely alone.

 

his fingers tingled with a familiar power as he recalled one of his long obsoleted spells and with arcane gesturing and incantation that rumbled through the painted world like pearls of thunder he completed the incantation and from the matter around him he formed a truely elephantine porcine golem wrought of white stone and burnished golden metal that crashed to the ground with a resounding hollow clang and a thunderous snort.

 

"Get them truffles!"

 

OINK

 

and with that thunderous retort the massive marble pig was off,  mighty stone hooves thudding against the soil as it crashed towards the remaining hunter head on.

Edited by Exaccus
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GM

 

Seeing the mighty Truffles that appeared from Oz's magic, the already humbled hunter just stopped in his tracks. It seemed that while he was prepared for one giant pig, a second one, much less a treasure vault pig like Truffles, was more than he could handle. Still trying to get his bearings after the last hit he had endured, he simply dropped his weapon and put his hands up, perhaps hoping that Oz would show him mercy.

 

For his part, William appeared genuinely shocked when Truffles appeared, then gave a loud OINK! in greeting. Charlemagne had stopped in his tracks as well, his beard split in a wide grin.

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A sharp whistle was all it took to call truffles off his destructive charge with a snort and a scraping of his hoof wandering off to socialise with the other colossal porcine as Oz approached the surrendering hunter with gusto.

 

"Smart choice. " He commented as he as he dabbed his brow with a green silk hankercheif to get the sweat that had been beginning to bead on it.

 

"I'm getting old and tired you see, my patience and restraint are beginning to fade." He explained with a sigh as he tucked the hankie back away. 

 

"So start talking."

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GM

 

The man stood still, though the mask made it difficult to read his expression, while he slowly lowered his arms, though still holding his hands up. He was silent, at least at first, while looking around, his eyes darting between William, Truffles, Oz and Charlemagne. He was clearly outnumbered. Still, he took his time.

 

"What do you want to know?" He turned his head slightly, looking at his two fallen comrades.

 

Before Oz could say anything, Charlemagne interrupted. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" He sounded pissed off, and who could blame him? 

 

The man only chuckled at Charlemagne.

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