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Lights, Camera, Action! (IC)


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Judging by his angrily furrowed eyebrow and twisted lips, Warne knew too that he blundered his attempt to rattle his enemy.  The short video, cheerfully taunting, didn't help his mood.

 

"Who's hiding?" he asked.  Both his arms came up.  "I'm right here.  You're the scared little rat too cowardly to show your face.  Come on down to the lobby, and I'll be happy to give you a treat."

 

Inwardly, he couldn't help but feel a little worried.  What could this strange villain do with those powers, exactly?  Could they--Warne withheld any guesses about gender, regardless of how the voice sounded--attack him through all these electronics without even having to be exposed for a counter-blast?  He'd never been so keenly aware of just how many gadgets a modern room held.  Even his own devices might be used against him...

 

Should I break the TV? he wondered.  Should I break everything?  God, I miss pens!

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@Blarghy:

There was a moment of silence, almost as thought the person in the armor was giving serious thought to a confrontation. Finally, after letting Warne sweat for nearly a solid minute, there was a reply. "No. No, Jim. As tempting as it is, if I wanted a fight, you'd already be dead. You're the oldest in Chalmers' little group. You've been around the block, seen the world, and gotten a clue. I'll make you an offer. Go back to your team and tell them the mission's over. What I'm doing here is personal; it doesn't concern you. I'm not just some raving, bloodthirsty lunatic. If you don't come after me, I won't come after you." The screen showed another quick video before returning to static. "Be smart, Agent Warne. Back off, and you might get your team out of this alive."

Edited by Sophistemon
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Initially, the rage on Warne's face only intensified.  Then, slowly, it began to drain...and replaced with an upwelling of rare mirth.  He laughed, soft at first, but soon let go of his inhibitions.  The cackles grew louder until they shook his whole body.  Tears ran from his squinted eyes, and he only began to quiet when his breath grew thin. 

 

Warne dried his cheeks with the back of his hand and straightened his posture once more.  "You...you poor, doomed fool," he said, voice still shaking with levity.  "You have sorely misjudged the wrath that comes for you.  Just who do you think we are?  Who do you think I work for?  You truly believe that if you somehow break me down, my organization would follow suit?  You've seen too many bad movies.  AEGIS does not negotiate.  AEGIS does not forget.  AEGIS does not forgive.  So long as even one of us draws breath, we will hound you all the way to Hell.  We don't care about your motives.  Revenge, greed, sadism--it's all the same to us.  You've committed a crime, you gaudy, insubstantial moron.  Bluster and moan all you like.  This still only ends one way.  Beat me if you can, but behind me stands a vast line of other agents ready to step into my place if I falter.  We will find you.  We will stop you.  And in case you aren't aware, the Blackstone cells don't come equipped with televisions."

 

He drove his point home by lashing out with his mind to shatter the screen in front of him.  The disembodied voice would find no peace treaties from this source.

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@Avenger Assembled, @Exaccus, @Heritage:

The clown's voice echoed in Miracle Girl's ears, softly and full of gently buzzing static at first, but with more and more clarity as the signal established itself in the real world. "Breaker breaker five-one, breaker five-one, do you read? This is Punchline, reporting live and in color from the ISS-1134. I'm here alongside my would-be savior, Fish-Girl MacKenzie." He muted the receiver and turned to Aquaria. "I know, it's 'Sea Devil.' Jokes are my thing!" He chortled, then clicked the button again and continued. "Thanks for tuning in! It, ah, kind of stinks in here, so if you're feeling particularly heroic I don't think we'd mind a rescue."

 

@Blarghy:

The television shattered into shards of glass and plastic when Adept's fury was unleashed and, for a moment, the room was silent. Then, the voice of the armored villain came through the remaining sources. It was tight, terse, terrifically testy. "Fine," they said. "You've had your chance do things the smart way. Now I have to get ugly. Don't say I didn't warn you." The devices went dead, only for Gabby Brown's phone to begin obsessively vibrating.

Edited by Sophistemon
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...I probably shouldn't have done that last bit, Warne decided.  I could justify my actions to Chalmers by saying that I feared this person would attack through the TV.  He would likely consider this reasonable.  But in truth it was an error in judgment, unnecessarily dramatic showboating, and I will report it as such, then offer to personally repay Brown for her damaged property.  Whether she is behind this or not.

 

And speak of the devil, her phone's sudden buzzing made him cringe.  Adept snatched it from his pocket, bag and all, and considered this development. 

 

Ten to one, this call will claim that she has been abducted and will only be returned if I cooperate.  ...Two to one, it's a ruse, and she's the real kidnapper.

 

Only one way to find out.  He telekinetically removed the device from its plastic container and answered.  Just to be safe, Adept mentally toggled the speakerphone and let it float well out of his personal reach, then activated his force field, just in case it somehow turned into a small bomb. 

Edited by Blarghy
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"Can we get some climbing rope," Casey called out to the protectionist. "Nylon, anywhere from nine to eleven milimeter, say  at least a hundred feet? If you have any carabiners, I'll take 'em, but I can make do without them. I want try and bring them both back."

 

Once she had the rope, she tied one end of it to the firmest anchor she could find in the  real world, and the other to her waist,  making sure the knots were good and tight, a point of pride for any Scout. Then she turned to the AEGIS agent who'd been so helpful, and sighed before giving him a nervous smile. "Okay; apologies in advance in case I damage  your wall."  

 

And with that, she lifted into the air and plunged right into the screen .

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"Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" Aquaria hadn't actually gotten the joke that Punchline had made - but she knew it was embarassing to tell a joke and hear no one laugh, she'd learned that in her therapy sessions with Surfacers. So she made a noise that was very much like laughing, a deep-throated bullfrog's bellow. When she was done, she asked of Punchline, "How did you come to be in this place? You are not a native." She knew what aliens sounded like, whether they were from the stars, the Surface, or some other place where they did not belong. 

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@Avenger Assembled:

Punchline looked down at the croaking Deep One and his red lips split wide in a smile that consumed most of his face. "Hey, would you look at that," he mused. "An appreciative audience! And in here of all places." He chortled, then reached out to pat Sea Devil on the curved dome of her helmet. "I like you, kid! I think we're gonna be buddies." When she asked her question, however, his face fell. "Well, now, that's kinda embarrassing. Have you ever met someone that looked all pleasant and friendly, only for them to turn out be really mean? Like, they were the bad-guy all along?" The corners of his mouth lifted back up, revealing bright, opalescent teeth. "That's sort of what happened to me." He giggled. "Anyway, it's kind of a long story. We'll go over it once we're out of here."

 

@Heritage:

The projectionist worked to keep Sea Devil and Punchline on screen so that Miracle Girl would have a clear point of entry into the world of film. When she hit the barrier between reality and fiction, it reacted similarly to a non-Newtonian fluid, first resisting her penetration and then only begrudgingly allowing her entry. Were she not so strong, or moving so fast, she may have been repulsed entirely; but as it was she found herself slipping through the veil. Strange, otherworldly forces buffeted her from side to side in an attempt to knock her off course. One interloper was, potentially, tolerable. Two was too many. Three was an insult to the natural order. But not even these fundamental forces could deter Miracle Girl, and she tore through the other side of the tunnel and arrived, unharmed, aboard the ISS-1134. Punchline gawped at her arrival, yellow eyes shining in the dark. "Hot dog!" he crowed. "We're rescued! I won't have to eat the alien after all!"

 

@Blarghy:

Brown's phone beeped once in Warne's ear, and then again.

When he pulled it away and stared at the screen, he saw a large, blood-red number 3 glaring at him from a blank black background.

There was a third beep, and the number changed to a 2.

Edited by Sophistemon
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I knew it!

 

Warne's earlier paranoia proved spot-on, which would've felt more satisfying if his life wasn't probably in danger.  He followed through with his original precaution, trying to fling the phone away with naught but the power of his brain, but it seemed he just wouldn't be quite fast enough...

 

And damn it, now I won't be able to claim this for evidence.

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Aquaria was pleased that Punchline could tell her gender - not many Surfacers were so observant when it came to understanding the clear femininity of a specimen of Deep One pulchritude such as herself. A tactile sort herself, she responded to his patting of her head by reaching up and squeezing his hand with a three-fingered gauntleted grip before giving a croak of satisfaction at Miracle Girl's sudden arrival. Now the lobster was in the pot! "Is the line still attached?" she inquired, craning her head to look past Miracle Girl, a task made considerably more difficult by the bulky neck that actually made it almost impossible to turn her head in the same way Surfacers did. "Attach it to Punchline first," she urged. "He is an innocent creature."

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"Oh, I can't believe that actually worked!" Casey took a few seconds to get her bearings, smiled at Aquaria, and then shook Punchline's hand with her firm grip. "Nice to meet you in person, sir." Then she paused for a second and wiggled her hand in the air. "Forgive me for asking, but are you some sort of...super-clown? Like, do you throw cotton candy bombs or make weapons out of balloon animals?"

 

As she waited for his response, she did a quick IR and radio scan to check for incoming threats. "Yeah, the line's still secure, but don't worry; we're all going back together."

Edited by Heritage
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@Avenger Assembled & @Heritage:

Punchline stared at Miracle Girl for a moment, and then a smile slowly started to split his face in half until it reached from one ear across to the other. "You know," he said. "I've never actually tried. Give me a second." He reached into a pocket that Casey couldn't be sure had been there a moment ago and withdrew a long, slim black balloon. He blew into it and then quickly, skillfully began to bend, twist, and tie it into shape. When he was done, it closely resembled a moderately dented lead pipe. He gave it a tentative tap in his palm to test the heft, then nodded his approval. "Well, what do you know? I can!" He hooted laughter and tossed the pipe behind him, where it clanged noisily against the steel grating of the floor. "This is all so new to me. I wonder if I can fly? Wow, that'd be a blast!" He reached out took Casey by the shoulders. "You're Miracle Girl," he breathed. "I've seen you on teevee! Boy, I'm a big fan!" He removed his hands and leaped over to Sea Devil. "And you! You came in first! You didn't even know if you could! I owe you both more than I can say." He sniggered, then attempted to compose himself. "When do we get out of here?"

 

@Blarghy:

The phone went off in mid-air, just as Agent Warne engaged his protective telekinetic shield. The room was filled with a flash of bright light as electricity poured through the screen, arced over the phone and melted it into a puddle of smoking black slag that quickly sank into the apartment's lackluster carpeting. Whatever secrets it might have held were gone now -- at least physically. The room, at least, was mercifully silent. If the armored villain was still watching, they were doing so quietly.

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Warne may've avoided physical harm, but he seemed no happier for it.  His furious eyes tried to light the offending carpet on fire with sheer willpower, and he shouted an ugly curse.  He would've gladly traded an awful electrical burn if it meant he could've saved the phone.

 

With his anger still threatening to boil over, he took out his own phone and removed the battery, breaking the case if he had to.  Risk of repeated history aside, he didn't dare use it to report to Chalmers, not now that he knew full well that their enemy was listening in.  Even though he yearned to at least warn everyone else that AEGIS's own surveillance equipment was being used against them, how could he be sure that the call would go through, and not be rerouted to an impersonator?  No, the only solution was to handle this face-to-face, as quickly as possible.

 

A bug in the department's system?!  We're supposed to be immune to this kind of nonsense!  Just how much of our electronics have been compromised?  Are the high-security data banks still locked down?  God help us all if they aren't.  Heads will roll when Chalmers hears that our engineers couldn't prevent this!

 

Through the door he ran, sprinting flat-out until he reached the streets, at which point he disregarded public image and took to the air for the quickest, straightest route possible back to the Federal Building. 

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It was hard for Casey to wrap her head around someone like Punchline, since he triggered opposing responses in her. In her heart, as always, she felt the overwhelming need to help those in need; this was so deeply ingrained in her character that it sometimes physically hurt. But on the gut level, she was somewhat disturbed by him; not to the degree of a horror movie clown like Pennywise, but more the way she felt about watching cartoons like Beetlejuice or Casper when a monster 'just wanted to be friends' but was still clearly monstrous.

 

What did Josh call it? The 'Uncanny Valley'?

 

Finally she took a deep breath and nodded to herself. This actually wasn't all that hard; Punchline needed help, and helping people is what she did. Better get on with that, before all that noise the lead pipe made brought an angry alien to their position. She put one arm around the strange clown's waist, and another around Aquaria's; her grip was powerful but somehow comforting, like when they pull the padded harness down over your shoulders on a roller coaster.

 

"You guys ready? Hang on!" And with that, she lifted up into the air, and flew head first right back where the climbing rope poked through from the 'real world'. Or at least, she hoped so...

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@Avenger Assembled & @Heritage:

Punchline hooted a long, loud whoop of excitement as Miracle Girl effortlessly lifted her twin passengers and took to the air. When she turned about and flew back in the direction from which she'd come -- which appeared to be an imposingly durable wall of corrugated steel -- there was a moment of trepidation. But thankfully, the projectionist back in the real world was keeping everyone thoroughly in frame, and the three heroes found themselves begrudgingly accepted by the space between worlds. It had reassembled itself following Miracle Girl's first intrusion, and remained as obstinately resistant to their passage as before, but there was a distinct feeling of bizarre alien relief when Casey burst free and hovered, triumphantly, in the air at the center of the theater. Punchline wriggled in her grip and fell free, landing on the ground with a crouch. He stood, yellow eyes glowing, and grinned. "At last," he said, his voice a throaty chortle. "After ten-thousand years, I'm free." He spread his arms wide, gloved hands palms up, and turned his face to the ceiling. "It's time to conquer Earth!" He giggled, and looked back to Miracle Girl and Sea Devil. "Just kidding. Hey, thanks for the assist!" He glanced around the theater and spotted the lunch-meats. "Ooo," he cooed. "Snacks!" He rushed to the tray and began shoveling slices of ham between slices of bread and stuffing the resulting sandwiches into his mouth. "I was in space for days," he complained, speaking around a mouthful. "And let me tell you, that space-food is terrible! There wasn't a Beefy Burger for miles!" He tried to laugh, choked on a bite of sandwich, and coughed. "Needs mustard," he muttered to himself, and retrieved a bottle of the stuff from a previously nonexistent pocket.

 

@Blarghy:

As Adept flew through the air in a desperate race to reach the others and reveal what he'd learned, he couldn't help but notice just how many closed-circuit television cameras there were dotted around the city. How many did the armored villain have access to? Was he spying on Warne even now, and plotting further evil? Signs point to yes, as the 8-Ball might say. This was proven when the telekinetic flew over a variable-message sign suspended above a highway which read I'M ALWAYS WATCHING, JAMES before changing back to the much more usual CONSTRUCTION: NEXT TWO MILES.

Edited by Sophistemon
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"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!"

 

Adept pushed his flight as fast as he could without truly overexerting himself; he'd quite likely need his strength for things to come.  Tempted as he was to fly higher, too, he also fought that impulse.  What would be the point?  His enemy surely knew where he was going, and if not, would see soon enough.  Bugs in the Federal Building!  Heads would roll!

 

He even continued to fly once he arrived, whether or not most people noticed; his feet skated a half-inch above the floor, to the first elevator, which he'd rather just dive past.  With terrible impatience, Warne raced through the maze of offices as fast as he could, searching for his handler for this assignment.

 

"Where's Chalmers?!" he demanded of anyone he passed.  "Where's Colonel Chalmers?!"

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@Blarghy:

Such is Agent Warne's reputation that his passage is often met with averted eyes and shuffling footsteps, but his questions never go unanswered. One by one, the people he addresses wrack their brains and tell him either "I don't know!" or "He's in his office!" And so down the hallways he storms, suit jacket open and flapping behind him like the wings of a hunting hawk. He arrives at Chalmer's office and, seeing the door unlocked and open, enters with all of the customary niceties. The Colonel, who is six deep into a baker's dozen and was just thinking about getting up for another mug of coffee, glances away from his paperwork and starts in his chair. "Warne! You look a mess, man; what's happened?" When he speaks, powdered sugar flakes from his lips to land on his chest like sweet, delicious dandruff. He pushes the box of confectioneries aside and stands to make his way around the desk. "What's going on, agent?"

Edited by Sophistemon
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"Hacker!" he exclaimed breathlessly, leaning against the door frame.  "The kidnapper--" wheeze, "--hacked the whole city."  Wheeze.  "Showed me clips from our own--" wheeze, "--surveillance systems, right here in the--" wheeze, "--building.  Controlling electronics throughout the city too.  Watching us right now.  Listening through phones.  Can detonate devices like bombs."

 

With that horrifying scenario laid out, Warne staggered a step inside the office and elaborated, "I searched Brown's apartment.  She's gone, but I found signs that she had great interest in all three films and a personal connection to at least one of the lead actors in the original movies.  The kidnapper hacked my phone when I tried to report in.  Told me to stay away and stop the investigation, standard crazed madman ranting, but also used the TV to show me the rest of the team from your earlier briefings.  Whoever it is, destroyed Brown's cell phone remotely before I could bring it in for evidence.  On my way back here, electronic road signs changed to taunt me; I was monitored the whole way.  Our systems are compromised, and I have no idea how thoroughly, but at least the cameras can't be trusted."

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@Blarghy:

Colonel Chambers coughed in surprise at the outburst, a small cloud of powdered sugar puffing free of his face, and stood up so quickly that his mug rattled on the desk. "Agent Warne, that's impossible," he said. Then, after a moment of reflection, he reconsidered. "I mean, some of it is possible. Most of it, I guess, but not the bit about AEGIS being hacked. It's on a closed system; there's no outside access. Heck, even getting to the Internet from here requires a permit signed in triplicate." He returned to his seat. "But, you say he showed you the others? Which means he is in our systems..." His eyes widened. "Dear God, the data!" He reached over, picked up a landline phone, and dialed. "Martinez! Chalmers. I need an immediate system scan. Yes, the entire thing. Signs of intrusion. Yes, a hacker. Immediately means now, not after lunch!" He hung up, then looked back to Warne. "Martinez is one of our resident nerds; if there's been a hack, he'll find it. It's a shame that Brown's phone was destroyed. Now, you said he used the television to show you the team? And he was able to access the traffic signs... that's not good." His eyes widened. "Dear Lord, Warne! The rest of the team... they're in the theater!"

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His temporary allies were the least of Warne's concerns right now, but he couldn't assist with any of the higher priorities without letting the IT department do its job first.  Honestly, he felt that a simple movie projector was probably one of the tamer pieces of technology that their enemy could use, anyway.  At least the others weren't in an AEGIS lab at the moment; those were dangerous even without outside interference.  Of course, no matter where Warne's teammates were, most of them still had a bomb in their pocket and didn't know it...

 

"Shall I warn them, sir?  Or do you have other orders?"  The agent posed to rush away again at Chalmers' word.

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Aquaria glunged sympathetically, wondering if Punchline had been driven mad in its time in the other realm, or if perhaps it was simply a denizen of one of those lower realms where thought and action worked differently than they did in the fallen world above. If so, it had to be treated carefully - things from the lower realms were often touched by the gods. In any event, Punchline's hunger seemed sincere - and she knew of sincere hungers. Hopping over to Miracle Girl, she hissed, "When Punchline has fed, we shall ssspeak to it of the lower realmsss. It had many thingsss to sssay on the other sssside.

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Casey nodded as she listened to Aquaria's explanation as she watched the strange satiate his hunger; she was never 100% sure she was following the Deep One, due to her unique terms and speech patterns, but she was pretty sure she got the gist of it.

 

"I'll be honest, we didn't come here to rescue you, though of course we're happy to help; we're trying to find a supervillain who's kidnapping characters out of movies, believe it or not. One was taken from the movie you were trapped in; did you see someone wearing a suit of armor that didn't belong there? And how did you get stuck there in the first place?"

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@Blarghy:

Corporal Chalmers looked moderately embarrassed as he sank back into his seat. "Is that... you don't think that's a problem?" he asked. "You said this armored maniac spoke to you through a television, and I figured, you know. A big movie screen -- that's like a big teevee, right?" He huffed and reached for a tissue to wipe his forehead. "It's my blood-pressure, I think. I've been overreacting about everything today." He cast a glance aside at his steaming mug. "The coffee's not helping, but someone left a full bottle of pumpkin spice creamer in the lounge and I just can't help myself." He cleared his throat. "In any case, Agent Warne, thank you for the report. You should return to the group, if only to reconvene and find out if they've learned anything from the films themselves." He shared a smile with the agent. "Isn't that the way, Warne? The superheroes sit around all day watching movies, while we have to run around getting threatened and blown up." He waved a hand at the door, bidding the agent to leave, and then reached for the mug. "You should try this before it's gone," he advised.

 

@Avenger Assembled & @Heritage:

Punchline grinned at Miracle Girl, his teeth clean and almost blindingly white despite his gorging feast, and spoke. "Well, sure," he said. "I didn't expect anyone to come looking for me, because I didn't expect to be in there." He noticed a spot of mustard on the finger of his glove and stuck it into his mouth. When he removed it, the fingertip was missing to reveal the pale, fish-belly skin beneath. As Miracle Girl watched, the fabric of the glove reformed to cover the digit. "As for the dope in the armor... yeah, I know him. I thought we were friends but you can see how that turned out." His smile reversed, becoming an exaggerated frown that pulled the corners of his lips down chinward. "He calls himself 'the Fanatic' and he tracked me down a few weeks ago and told me, er, the other me, that he wanted to throw a big reunion party to celebrate all these new reboots coming out. I figured, what the heck, right? Take a little vacation to the movieverse -- why not?" He tittered, then swallowed another sandwich. "He needed my help to build a machine. He wanted to study how I jump and make it bigger." A blur of static enveloped the clown. He vanished, then reappeared in another seat before the process reversed. "Tah-dah! I can't go very far, but this Fanatic guy thought he could study how I do it and build something that gets to other dimensions. And he was right!" Punchline leaned back in his seat and patted a grotesquely distended stomach. He belched, and it flattened to normal. "Anyway, after we popped in and out of a few films and he grabbed Ridley, that's when things got a little too heavy for me."

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Casey listened intently as Punchline told his story so far; she assumed the 'other me' was whoever the cartoon clown was when he wasn't being, well, himself. It sounded like he must have some fairly impressive tech skills if that was the case; his unique form of teleportation actually looked like some form of broadcasting, which raised all sorts of interesting questions. Was he currently using supertech of some kind, or was he actually transformed into a living TV signal? In Freedom, either one was equally possible.

 

"So this 'Fanatic', do you know his real name, or did you meet online? Do you actually meet somewhere in real life, or was the whole things virtual? Even if you just have an email address or log-in name, that might be enough for us; we're working with the Feds on this one."

Edited by Heritage
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"Oh, no, this is terrifying," Warne agreed.  He viewed the colonel's reaction with alarm as well; the last thing anyone needed to do was relax.  "I merely think that the team is probably in the same amount of danger, or slightly less, than the entire world, if our data is compromised.  As for the movie projector, I'm sure our enemy could use it to frighten or manipulate them, but unless this person's affinity with fictional characters extends to recruiting and sending them into our world, I'm still more concerned about everyone's personal cell phone."

 

...I'm going to get downstairs and find them fighting Sesame Street characters, now that I've said that.

 

"So yes, I will happily warn them, but please, let's prioritize sealing our systems and warning all other state and federal agencies in the city." 

 

He exited hastily, trying to remember where the film room was actually located.  Pumpkin coffee would have to wait--and Warne should probably avoid caffeine anyway, given the surprise waiting for him below. 

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