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Captain Knievel vs. Malice: Extreme Chess Challenge! (IC)


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It could very well be true. With his king no longer trapped behind his pawns, At best this is going to take some serious doing!

"You may be right, but your closest unopposed pawn to my side of the board is...." Captain Knievel took a moment to count. "Four whole turns away from even becoming a queen. That means you need to wait until turn 5 to actually use her, and by then I should be able to stay out of trouble for at least two more. No. I think queening yourself at this time would not be a good strategy."

Captain Knievel seemed to be strangely helpful in this regard....

"Check again." he commented after moving his other rook into position. It was a bad plan at best, but maybe Malice would make a mistake...

chessgame50

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"Four turns to get my queen, 1 more to get in position, and then checkmate under the current scenario. And it'll take some serious doing on your part to get out of that scenario. As I said, plenty of time. But why go for the kill the easy way. Let's drag this out a little more. I took your first rook with nothing but my king, let's see if I can take the other in the same fashion, just for kicks." Eric was arrogant before, now he's just 100% sure of himself. You can practically see his mind doing all the calculations for all the different moves and all the strategies and counter strategies that can be employed.

chessgame51

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"No. I don't think so. I've seen that pattern before. I won't play you're silly games." Captain Knievel deftly slid his rook across the board again.

chessgame52

"Instead, I think we should see what other types of damage that we can do before you can accomplish anything constructive." Whether or not Malice had calculated this one out would not matter. There was no immediate danger to his rook from this position. That and it still limited where his king could move. Captain Knievel was simply curious as to what strategy Malice would employ.

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"Huh. Didn't expect that." said Eric simply. He crossed his arms and looked at the board for a moment. "Ah, here we go." With a casual flick, he moved his pawn forward a step. "And here we are again. So what sort of damage are you actually intending to cause here? You aren't even really running out the clock either. Just kind of fumbling around in the dark, hoping to get lucky."

chessgame53

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"Well you know what they say, when you wander around in the dark long enough, you either find the lights, or you find something else with your shins." Captain Knievel really had nothing else to do. Malice was right. He was almost out of options. But as long as he had this rook he was not down for the count yet.

"I'll just do this then." Captain Knievel adjusted his rook up one file.

chessgame54

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"Real words to live by huh? Alright I'll humor you." Erci was about to move one of his other pieces when he suddenly stopped. "Almost forgot, I'm trying to get that one with just my king. I got to pay more attention. Alrighty let me see..." Eric though about it for a moment before moving his king into its new position. Was it just because of rook position that he kept moving forward, or did Eric intend to use his own King in capturing the Captains?

chessgame55

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"This is becoming extremely troublesome. Neither of us is really getting anywhere with this." Captain Knievel slid his rook back down.

chessgame56

"If you are serious about taking my rook, that's fine. But just take it already. Don't just keep trying to get it with your king."

Captain Knievel just grumbled to himself about the way the game was going. From his point of view he had lost any chance he had at getting an advantage, or even some semblance of a strategy...

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"Heh. I was going after your rook with my king because ironically that was the only piece I could go after without compromising my defense. But you're right, it's time we bring this match to an end. So in the words of Monty Python, Get on with it." With that Eric moved one of his pawns forward a space. Now was when Eric was at his most vulnerable. Hopefully, his previous strategy had worked so this would be an easy win.

chessgame57

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"Heh, I like the reference. It goes right along with my adaption of, 'This game has become too silly!' " Captain Knievel quickly noticed an opening in Malice's defensive patterns. Deciding to abandon Malice's king for a moment, he made after one of malice's pawns, sliding his rook across the board.

chessgame58

"There. How is that for strategy?"

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"You sir, are a most excellent strategerist. I would be honored if you could teach me some of your strategerisms after this epic battlification of the miniscule representations of abstract concepts of medieval warfare." Apparently when Eric enters Monty Python mode, he becomes a little too silly. While he's considering his next move, he's unconsciously humming the Spam song to himself. Once he's done deliberating, he slides his rook across the board, directly opposite the Captain's rook.

chessgame59

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"Wow nice move." Captain Knievel frowned. "Unfortunately once again you have succeeded in making me unable to make any headway."

Captain Knievel moved his rook across the board. This time it did not end up threatening any pieces.

chessgame60

"And now for something completely different!"

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"Oh you're right, perhaps that was a little mean. Here's let me give you another shot at it." With that Eric moves his last untouched pawn 1 space forward, accomplishing... nothing what so ever. Looking at the Captain's most likely perplexed expression, Eric simply shrugs his shoulders "What? You said it was time for something completely different. I saw a bandwagon and I jumped on it. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Yo."

chessgame61

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"Well, I guess that doesn't really help or hurt me does it." Captain Knievel considered his options, of which he did not have many, for a few seconds. "I guess I don't have too many moves." This ultimately led him to the quick decision of putting Malice's king in check once more.

chessgame62

"I just kind of want to see what you will do with this one."

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"Huh. I think I may have started to screw myself over by messing around with you." It was true, had had to be careful now or else the Captain's pawns could very well box him in, and then he would be in a real pickle, not to mention look really, really stupid. Alright, no more playing around. I need to get my stuff in order and then go for the win. First thing's first, gotta get the king out of the line of fire. Eric moved his king so the pawns were now a barrier between it and the rook. "Your move."

chessgame63

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"Well, I think it is pretty clear that I am getting nowhere with this rook. I suppose that I will try a different strategy, even if it is a tad risky."

Captain Knievel was clearly running out of things to do. If Malice didn't end this game soon, he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to play it.

"I will just do this for now." The Captain said, sliding one of his pawns forward.

chessgame64

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Damn. Exactly what I didn't want him to do. Although this does open an interesting proposition... But no I should play it safe, loosing at this point would just look stupid. I can't let him get another piece on the board, I'd lose for sure. That pawn has to die. Eric takes the newly advanced pawn with one of his own. "Your move mate."

chessgame65

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"Hmm...I was afraid you would do that." Captain Knievel rubbed his chin a bit, stroking an imaginary beard. "But then, That is why we take risks, yes?"

Captain Knievel instinctively took the other pawn with his.

chessgame66

It was not likely to result in any progress, but at least he could avoid senselessly losing a second pawn.

"Your move, boss."

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"We now return you to your regularly scheduled winning strategy." says Eric in a mocking announcer voice. Hopefully the Captain doesn't see how he could royally screw me over here. That is what we would call a bad thing. Why am I using 'we' in an internal monologue? Better yet, while am I still monologuing?

Eric seems to come out of a daze, and moves his pawn forward. "Sorry about that, zoned out for a moment there."

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"Oh I don't think so..." Captain Knievel remarked. Hopefully not yet at least!

Captain Knievel had been waiting for such an opening. He quickly slid his rook forward into attack position.

chessgame68

"What are you gonna do about that? Huh, tough guy? Huh? What? What now? Huh? Yea! That's what I thought!"

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"You don't have to be so loud. I did in fact, see what you did there. And as for what I plan on doing, I think it would be quite obvious that I'm going to win the game. Now if you don't mind..." Eric slides the pawn one more space forward. "Your move sparky. Don't screw up now." He's only got one move that doesn't instantly give me the victory and about 17 others that guarantee it. I've got this one in the bag.

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You've come this far, made sacrifices, made risks, and challenged everything you've believed in. Don't screw up now!

Captain Knievel laughed for a moment at Eric's remarks. "Nice. I am actually hoping this might put a monkey wrench in your plans." The Captain slid his rook all the way to the end of the board this time.

chessgame70

"I'm not sure if I like your chances of winning that Queen."

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"Really? I think they're pretty good." Eric smirked as he slid his own rook to the end of the board. "It all leads up to these last few moves huh? For what it's worth, you really did play a good game here. I'm quite surprised actually. Your unorthodox style really kept me guessing. I'd like to play you again some time, just not tonight, my butt's getting sore."

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"Agreed." The Captain looked like he was about to say something else, but he stopped. In a rush he could suddenly see exactly how the rest of the game would play out. And he had just lost.

Captain Knievel quickly shut his mouth, and his teeth clicked together. "@#$%! You got me" He yelped. "I really did not see that coming. I mean that really escalated quickly. Things got out of hand fast! Solid move."

With one finger Captain Knievel reached out and gingerly tipped over his king.

"I'll give you the game for that."

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Eric gives a little smile as Captain knocks the king over. He stands as if he's going to shake the Captain's hand, but then suddenly flips the board over "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! What are you gonna do about that? Huh, tough guy? Huh? What? What now? Huh? Yea! That's what I thought! The winnar! Also known as the guy who kicked your butt." Eric then begins to do all of Hulk Hogan's poses ""Whatcha gonna do brother? When Malice-amanina runs wild over you?" Eric then caps off the victory celebration by blasting "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" over the stereo system, and doing the national dance of Caucasia.

Now mildly out of breath, Eric returns to the table. "Oh yeah... One more thing...: Eric holds up his watch which isn't actually showing time. "I've been programing your moves into the mainframe, and it's been telling me the moves to use to counter. Sorry."

*Flees*

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